Page 6 of My Kind of Trouble
‘What you having?’ Ryan asked, nodding over to the crowded bar and draping a heavy arm over her shoulder, temporarily shaking her out of her daydreams.
‘Oh, you tell me. Whatever’s good these days… and locally brewed, obviously. You know I prefer it to the imported stuff,’ she feigned cheerfulness, not wanting her brother to jump into protective mode.
So, as Ryan took off toward the bar, Noa returned to her trip down memory lane as her eyes cast over the surrounding space. The pool table where her dad taught her to play pool, the dart board where she’d beaten Ryan on her twentieth birthday— he’d insisted he’d let her—before she’d gone on to get a very wavy level of drunk in a celebration of said big victory. As her thoughts spiralled, she realised that this was the very same night she lost her virginity to… Noa very quickly cut off that train of thought. It felt wrong to think of it, to think of him in Ryan’s presence.
But, despite her best efforts, self-preservation did not win, and she was tossed back into the memory of her twenty-year-old self.
‘Shit, shit, shit,’ Noa thought as she frantically tried to grab her clothes from where they decorated the floor around the bed.
Alex’s mum always worked every hour of the day, and it had seemed to work in their favour as they’d fumbled into thehouse last night. But now, she wished there had been someone to talk sense into her and stop her idiocy.
Someone who would have reminded her that this was not just anyone that she was about to lose her virginity to, but her brother’s best friend.
For so long, she’d ignored any whisper of a connection between her and Alex.
She’d plastered on her friendliest smile around him, reminding herself of the not-so-subtle warnings her brother had drip-fed them over the years. Yet, in one drunken night, she had torn down any flimsy barriers she’d kept between them.
Shit, shit, shit.
This time she was sure she’d spoken the words aloud as she heard rustling from over her shoulder, evidence of life from the bed.
She closed her eyes, hoping that if she couldn’t see him then he, too, couldn’t see her attempt at a discreet escape.
How would she explain this?
‘Where are you going, Trouble?’ a gravelly voice asked. Her heartbeat picked up, and—were those butterflies? No!
No, no, no.
She had to get out of here before salvaging their friendship became impossible and the risk of causing a rift between Alex and Ryan became inevitable.
She turned to look at Alex then.
He was twenty-two to her twenty and was just starting to fill out in all the right places. His defined pecs were on display over the covers and a light dusting of chest hair decorated them in the centre, evidence that Alex was not a boy anymore.
He was a man.
And, like a man, he could make his own decisions. That’s exactly whatlast night was.
The rational part of Noa’s brain should have known that. But Noa was a perpetual overthinker, and rational thinking often took a back seat to ‘worst-case scenario’.
And, right now, that worst-case scenario playing on repeat in her head, was the one where her lust-infused decision could very well lead to the downfall of Ryan’s and Alex’s relationship.
She didn’t know if she could take that. Even if a part of her was curious to explore what last night had meant.
She had to protect that friendship because, for years, her family had been more like a second family to Alex, and that wasn’t something worth risking.
Her brother was protective to a fault, and no relationship brought a guarantee. Everyone went into it risking their hearts. But this wouldn’t just risk their own, and she knew that, if something went south between them, Ryan would always take her side.
As she stood almost catatonic, staring at him, Alex reached out to grab her arm. She suspected he knew she was deep in her thoughts and, as he often did, was likely trying to pull her out of the place she had gone to.
He was good at that.
Looking into his warm eyes she felt lucky that her first time had been with someone she trusted and felt safe with.
But it wasn’t enough to make her question the words she spoke next as the fear took over.
‘We need to keep this between us,’ she blurted. Alex reared back like she had shot him before schooling his features.
