Page 19 of Hermes
Dishonesty
Chapter 10
What’sanothertitleandduty to the list of many I’ve accumulated over the years? But being guider of the souls to the Underworld proved to be far more time consuming than any of my other tasks.
It was not until a full two years later until I was finally able to get some rest. And when I realized I had a whole day to do whatever it was I pleased, I knew exactly where I wanted to go. Thoughts of Crocus and us being together were really the only thing keeping me lively. Without that feeling, I would grow to become a power-hungry and greedy god, just as most of the other Olympians were. Honestly, I still knew I possessed that thirst for power, just as all of the other gods and goddesses did. It would always eat away at me, putting so much stress and pressure on me. Whenever my mind drifted to Crocus and that kiss we had several years ago, it triggered emotions of serenity and bliss to counteract those thoughts.
And now, I would finally be able to see him once again. Although I was unsure of how he would handle my appearance. After all, the last time we met, I lied to Crocus, informing him that I would visit his home and spend the night with him and his younger siblings and also visit the town’s temple to pray there. To pray to myself. So, I had to wonder if Crocus would accept me with open arms or possibly resentment. The uncertainty of it all left me feeling uneasy as I journeyed to Corinth to that very same beach where I first met Crocus. Our beach.
Approaching the soothing, breezy shore, I was relieved to notice that I was the only one here. It gave me time to hide my winged sandals, helmet, and caduceus. I wasn’t quite fully prepared to reveal my true identity to Crocus. At least not yet. For now, I would still present myself as Herates, the traveling shepherd, the same role I played during that first time we met.
And so, I would just sit on the sand of the shore, just staring out into the cerulean sea, mesmerized by the tiny trickling crystal reflections Apollo’s sun cast off of it as the soft waves undulated with the gentle blowing breeze, waiting for Crocus’s arrival. Whenever that may be.
But as the hours rolled by, I still remained on the beach alone, the wanderings of my mind being the only thing that kept me company. It wasn’t until the sun began to set, eliciting its last glimmer of light for the day that I rose from my spot, ready to return to Mount Olympus to resume my tasks for another few years or so before I could obtain another full day’s worth of a break like this one.
Just as I stood, moving to retrieve my belongings that I felt his presence. The hairs on my back instantly went erect. I could sense his proximity without even having to see him.
“Herates!” he shouted.
As elated as I was that I recognized his voice, for a second, I was caught off-guard with him referring to me as my alter ego. Instantly, I was reminded of the lack of transparency between us. How he truly did not know my real identity, which caused a deep pain within me. One I have never experienced before in all my existence. Crocus made me feel things no mortal or god has ever made me feel. And dare I say that these feelings that I experienced two years ago were what made me want to return here today, wanting to relive them once more.
The surge of lightness that immediately took over my body once I spun around to see him made this whole trip all worth it. He stood so confidently with such masculinity. It was a far cry from the nervous, trepid mortal I remembered two years ago. I could see the tightness of his newly formed muscles over his body. It was still a shock to me at how drastic mortals could change and age over just a few years, while the bodies of us gods remained permanent for centuries.
Crocus had grown into his own and I was quite impressed at how well he has maintained himself. My attraction to him was more evident than ever in this moment.
“Crocus!” I called back to him. “Is that really you?”
He gave me a firm nod. “Yes. How long has it been? A few years?”
“Two,” I clarified. “It has been about two years since we last crossed paths.”
“And you have not changed a bit!” he exclaimed, seeming stunned by the lack of change in my appearance.
I was unsure of how to respond to this, without giving too many hints that I was unlike him, in that I was the one in several million, a god.
“And neither have you!” I fibbed, hoping that this statement would cancel out any and all reasons for him to pry on about how my physical features hadn’t changed one bit since he last saw me.
“Well, there have been quite a few changes about me, Herates…” he informed me, scratching the back of his head.
This excitement Crocus displayed instantly diminished. I was now sensing a nervousness that stirred within him. “And what has changed since I last saw you?” I inquired, still maintaining my own jovialness about seeing him.
It was a phenomenon that I could be so loose and let my guard down around someone. The conniver, thief, and deceitful persona that everyone knew me for was cast aside whenever Crocus was near. It was the only time I shunned those godly qualities of mine. I now realized the effect Crocus had on me.
“Much, Herates…” His ambiguity was unsettling.
What was making it so difficult for him to answer my question? Did something terrible happen to him or something? I had to know.
“Which is…” I stated, hoping he would fill in the missing pieces I desired.
“I’m in love… with a woman.”
“Oh… well… that’s splendid!” I enthusiastically declared, trying to cover up the affliction that tugged at me, knowing Crocus was capable of loving someone else besides me. I stepped forward to hug him as a congratulatory gesture. But his touch sent a jolt through my body. I should have known that our physical contact with one another would activate the cravings that stirred within me. Those past feelings we had for one another sweltered through us in our embrace. I squeezed him tightly in my arms before finally releasing him.
“You’re not disappointed?” Crocus asked, taking a step back, so I could see the arched brow he held with what I could tell was skepticism.
“No. Of course not. I cannot expect you to have waited for me…” I trailed off, now feeling ashamed I left him without a word or explanation two years ago. I would grow to regret that decision and learn to deal with its permanent lingering within me.
“I waited a whole year for you, Herates. I’ve returned to this beach every day in that year, hoping you’d return. But since then, I met a woman who comforted me, who proved to be a loyal and devoted companion. She has cared for both me and my younger siblings. I love her.”
