Page 50 of Orpheus
But I would need further guidance this time around. I needed more power to avoid the uncertainty of the Underworld. I could not get caught by Hades’s cloaked servants again. There was only one person that I knew of who could help me in this dire time of need.
And so, I called out to him, screaming to the Earth around me. “Apollo! I need your guidance. I need you now more than ever. Please, come to me,” I pleaded. In a moment of desperation, I decided to pull out my golden lyre and pluck the strings, hoping my calming music would somehow summon him expeditiously.
Much to my amazement, it did. I felt an abrupt, cool breeze strike me in the back, making the hairs on my neck go erect. I spun around to witness Apollo now standing barefoot in this viridian field with me. His golden locks, matching the rays of the sun, swayed with the wind so gorgeously.
“Orpheus…” was all he said to greet me.
His sullen tone led me to believe that he already knew what had happened.
Yet I still felt the need to reiterate it aloud to him. “Eurydalos… I couldn’t bring him back,” I confessed.
“I am aware,” Apollo revealed. “I am so sorry, Orpheus. I truly don’t know what to say.”
“Say you will help me,” I answered for him. “You can return with me to the Underworld. Only this time, I will need you to somehow give me the power to fight off any threats that come my way…”
As I wanted to continue to explain my plan, I was harshly interrupted by him. “No, Orpheus. I cannot do this for you. It is impossible. No mortal may enter the Underworld more than once. That is a rule that no one has been able to break.”
“Then let me be the first,” I insisted. “I have the artistic talents and skills to be able to conquer anything. You know this, Apollo. Surely, you have faith in me.”
The God of music let out a deep sigh. “I did have faith in you when I first led you to the Underworld, Orpheus. Frankly, I’m pleased that you even managed to make it out alive. But returning to the kingdom of the dead for a second time? I cannot help you with that. Even attempting to provide you that assistance is beyond my powers as an Olympian god.”
His words crawled and crept underneath my skin, causing every bone in my body to weaken and give out. I fell to into the grass again, helpless as ever, tears swelling in my eyes once more. “There has to be another way for me to save him. I cannot just give up on Eurydalos. I was so close to getting him back. So close…” I wept.
As I stared down at the ground, on my knees, I felt large warm hands grip both of my shoulders. “Listen to me, Orpheus. I cannot bear to see you in this state. I know the very pain you are going through. But you must know that it will eventually subside. You may not think it now, but you will eventually be able to move on with your life. You are the world’s most prominent musician after all. You have such a bright future ahead of you. So much to look forward to. Your life is only at its beginning stages. So many more adventures await you on the horizon.”
But I could not listen to Apollo. As much as he was trying to cheer me up and alter my mindset to being optimistic, I refused to let him do so. “No! I will not move on in this world without Eurydalos. I cannot be cheerful without him by my side.”
Apollo shook his head, disappointed by my jaded response. “Look. I have been in the very same sandals you walk in now, Orpheus. I too once lost who I considered to be the love of my existence. I am a god and have and will continue to live for thousands of years, if not an eternity. I have had many lovers of my time, but none of them compare to a particular man.”
The God of the sun had never been this open and vocal to me about his past affairs, so I was surprised that he was doing so now. “And who was the man?”
“His name was Adonis. Surely, you’ve heard of him?” Apollo arched his eyebrow.
“Yes,” I admitted.
Everyone in the world knew the tale of Adonis and Aphrodite. It was a story of love and tragedy. Adonis was the most beautiful mortal in the world who captured the attention of the Goddess of love and beauty herself. The two were practically inseparable until the day that Adonis went off hunting on his own. He was struck and devoured by a wild boar only to be found by Aphrodite, who, running to him carelessly, was scraped by the thorns of white rose bushes. Her blood dripped to the Earth and painted every rose red.
But I was told that Adonis only had one lover, who was Aphrodite. Yet, here Apollo was contradicting that very famous story.Hewas once in love with Adonis, too?It couldn’t be, I wondered to myself. But he continued on to disprove my thoughts.
“Adonis and I kept our affair concealed from Aphrodite and everyone else, for that matter, for as long as we could until we were caught. We had a love like no other. I prophesied that Adonis would come into my life years before he was even conceived on this Earth. But once our secret love became exposed to Aphrodite and Artemis, we were forced to have to part ways. Both goddesses forbade us from ever seeing each other again,” Apollo revealed.
“How cruel to separate two lovers from one another. I can understand why Aphrodite would demand that, but Artemis? Your very own sister? What was her reasoning?” I was curious to know.
“Artemis values chastity. Not only this, but she is against male-to-male relationships with one another. She threatened to disclose my affectionate ties with Adonis to the other Olympian gods if I continued to see him. I had no choice but to accept her terms, in fear that I would be punished by Zeus and the other gods, for my affair with Adonis was a direct betrayal to Aphrodite,” he informed me.
“That must have been so hard for you to have to do,” I empathized with Apollo. “Did you ever get Adonis back? Or did you just give up on him altogether?”
Apollo shook his head. “I had no choice but to give up on him. It was one of the most difficult decisions I ever had to make. Every time I saw him in public thereafter was torment. Seeing him without me ate at my very core. So, I understand where you are coming from, Orpheus. I, too, suffered for months on end with not having Adonis in my life.”
The god’s thoughts were not making any sense to me. One minute he was telling me to move on and forget about Eurydalos. In another instance, he was explaining how he, too, lost the love of his life and had gone through so much emotional anguish over it. He was contradicting himself, and I could not understand his logic.
“Then why are you telling me to move on?” I pondered aloud.
“You did not let me finish my story,” Apollo interjected. “Eventually, I did manage to move on from Adonis. As time went on, I forged new relationships and attractions towards other men. In the back of my mind, I knew none of them could compare to the beautiful Adonis, but I was able to still find a place in my heart to love them, too. So you see, Orpheus, I believe you will do just the same. Give it time. Your heartbreak is still fresh. Let the torn pieces repair themselves and soon you will move on in this world and take advantage of all it has to offer you and the many men and women that will fall madly in love with you.”
It was hard to imagine, me moving on and finding another person to love besides Eurydalos. Apollo may have been trying to give me helpful advice, but what he failed to realize was that he was a god, an immortal. He had plenty of time to allow his heart to grieve and then move on to search for other lovers in his eternity of a life. For me, I did not have that much time as a mortal. My life was limited and so were my feelings on who I could love and learn to love in this lifetime.
Apollo was sorely mistaken. I could never move on from Eurydalos. I didn’t have it in me to. Our love was forged stronger than even the toughest and thickest of metals Hephaestus used to blacksmith his weaponry. Our love was a weapon in itself. A finely crafted sword. One that was now pierced deep into my skin, plunged forth through my heart.
