Page 22 of Orpheus
Chapter 9
Nearly a month had passed, and I still worked my way from Drepana on foot, heading towards Iolcus. No longer having a horse and carriage, among other resources, I had very limited options on how to journey to the kingdom of Thessaly.
For some of the way, I was picked up by farmers and foreign travelers with carts of hay, animals, and trade items. I sat in the back and joined them along their travels until they reached their destination or were no longer going in the direction of Iolcus. These people were far generous in letting me have this free-ride and I made sure to remember who they were, in the hopes that I could somehow repay each and every single one of them in the future.
The city of Iolcus wasn’t much farther from me. Give or take a couple of days and I would be there in no time. For now, the dusk was approaching, the sun slowly setting on the skyline on the horizon. I strode the beach, deciding it would be too dangerous to continue going any further throughout the night. I desperately needed a bath though, and so I tossed my tunic into the wet, grainy sand, hopping into the sea to rinse and lather my body. The water was cool to the touch, but after being submerged in it for about a minute, I instantly became used to its strikingly low temperature.
I closed my eyes, allowing the chilliness to numb me. A feeling I needed in that moment. To be numbed from all the emotional turmoil I had endured this past month. What Calais did to me was still a betrayal, whether he did it for unselfish reasons or not. He had given up on me, onus, and it was a thought I could not wrap my head around. Calais didn’t even try to find a way around the prophecy of the Fates. Instead, he was so willing to accept it, to give in to death, having a life lost without experiencing true love.
But at the same time, I still had to hope that both he and the Fates were wrong in their judgment. What if he and his brother killed the harpies without going down with them? There was always that chance. And I believed in Calais. I truly did. I knew he could fend for himself and take care of those harpies without even so much as a flesh wound.
This belief that I had from a month prior, I still carried with me. It was the only thing that kept me going, that helped me maintain my motivation and determination in getting to Iolcus only to fall into his arms, after what would be a successful adventure. One for the scrolls and books of history.
Lost in a daze for what was minutes, I opened my eyes, deciding it was time to return to the shore and find shelter for the night. It would likely be in a nearby forest with the canopy of the trees that would serve as the roof over my head. The comfort of my golden lyre and a soft lullaby I would play was what would bring me to a peaceful and safe sleep, just as it had done for every night since I embarked on this lonesome journey back to Iolcus.
But before I could even get to this point, I began to panic as I dipped my feet back into the sand. The spot where I left my tunic. Nothing was there. My lyre, my clothes. All of it had disappeared. I spun around, noticing that no one was around me, or so I thought.
How could I have been so careless!?
“Looking for these?” A low-toned voice called out from behind me. One that I had not heard for quite some time but that I instantly recognized. It was a voice I would never forget for the rest of my life.
I did not even bother to turn around to face the man, or rather,god. “Apollo. What brings you here all of a sudden? After all this time.”
He tossed my tunic and lyre on the ground. They landed at my side with which I quickly grabbed and dressed myself in, concealing the golden lyre into the inside pocket as I always did, still refusing to spin around to confront the god.
“I could ask the same of you,” Apollo interjected. “You should be on your way home to Thrace, yet you are headed towards Thessaly.”
It was one thing for Apollo to never had made an appearance in months to meet me. It was another for him to have been spying on me this entire time without even making his presence known to me. The audacity of him!
“I have business to attend to in Thessaly, as you are aware of,” I boldly replied.
Apollo stepped closer to me. His lips were just a breath away from my ear as he hovered over me. “Yes. I am quite aware of the verybusinessthat you speak of, Orpheus. Tell me, what made you fall in love with him? How could you turn your back on me?”
He sounded almost hurt as he asked this. It must have been a blow to both his godly ego and his heart when he learned of my feelings for Calais. But they were feelings I could not deny and ones that I never knew I had the capability of experiencing. Feelings that I never felt for Apollo.
“I never turned my back on you, Apollo. I still pray and am devoted to you as your mentee. However, I just came to the realization that I could never give myloveto you. I cannot commit myself to you strictly out of lust,” I shared.
“I see…” The god gave a deep sigh, lingering disappointment in his gasp. “But why do you not love me, Orpheus? Have I not given you all that you could possibly ask for? I have given you the gift of music, allowed all of your hopes and dreams to come true. Yet, here you stand, confessing that you cannot love me in return?”
I slowly turned around to face him. “You do not love me, Apollo. What we have together is a physical attraction for one another. Nothing more. You do not spend time with me beyond our mentorship. Never have we fallen asleep in the same bed together. Never have you bothered to even ask how my day was or anything about my feelings.” My truth continued to seep out of me, uncontrollably. I continued to spill out all of the reasons why I was not in love with the god. Surely, he had to see my side of this. My perspective was a valid one. I was just in my feelings.
“But I am a god, Orpheus. You must know I cannot fully give myself to you in the way you desire. This is the very best I can do. Most mortals I have loved in my eternity have never had this problem before.”
I shook my head, becoming even more irritated with his defense. There was a hierarchy here, yes. He was a god, and I was a mortal, after all. He had far more powers than I did. However, this difference between us should not dictate how I should act around him. I do not have to grovel on my hands and knees for this god, thankful for his love, nor should I. This expectation of his was not love at all. At least it was not my version of what love is and should be.
“But I am not like most mortals,” I began to explain. “You, of all people, should know that. It’s what made you so drawn to me. I’m sorry to say that I do not love you, Apollo. I hope you can forgive me if you thought otherwise. I had no intention of fooling and deceiving you. I was just…findingmyself, I suppose. I still am, actually.”
“I understand, Orpheus. But if this is the path you choose, then it will come with consequences, you understand. If you do not love and devote yourself to me fully, then I can no longer serve as your mentor. I will no longer teach you in the arts of music and guide you on your way to the top. My services to you will be forever ceased, from here on out.”
This was a sacrifice I was willing to make. I could not compromise my feelings and emotions, all in the name of fame and glory. Perhaps the old, naïve Orpheus would have given anything at Apollo’s request, which he did. But this new Orpheus, that I was, that I was still finding, was not that same oblivious man that he once was.
No mortal, nor god, would be able to shun my feelings. I had absolved myself from this behavior. I could no longer allow it to happen.
“So be it. I wish you nothing but the best, Apollo,” was all I answered with, much to his dismay.
“Very well, Orpheus. Your parents will be much disappointed with you for neglecting your duties to me,” he shared. “Oh… and one more thing I should mention before I go. No one is capable of defying their destiny. Any prophecy made by me or the Fates will always be fulfilled. We have never once been wrong and weneverwill be. The man that you believe you love, Calais. He is no more. I can confirm that he has died at the hands of the harpies just several days ago. So, whatever you think you are fighting for right now… you should know that it no longer exists.”
With that, a golden aura surrounded Apollo. The light around him, so bright, I had to turn my head, preventing my eyes from directly looking into it. Once I had thought the light subsided, I peeked my eyes open and peered through them. The aura had disappeared, and Apollo with it.
