Page 21 of Orpheus
Yet at the same time, I felt ashamed. Ashamed that I must have drunk too much wine, causing me to pass out like an irresponsible lush. I had completely and utterly embarrassed myself in front of Calais. What could have been a memorable and affectionate moment between us turned into a short-lived kiss.
Why did I have to succumb to the pressure around me? I should have listened to my gut instincts and passed on drinking with everyone else. Now that I thought about it, it was, in fact, Calais, who really pleaded with me to join in with everyone else. He was extremely adamant that I imbibe on the wine. But he must have thought I could withstand plenty more than just three goblets full of wine before becoming incoherent.
As I turned around to look at the opposite side of the bed, where I assumed he had slept, I noticed a folded-up piece of parchment resting on the pillow. It left me oddly suspicious, but at the same time joyful. It was thoughtful of Calais to leave me with what I assumed to be some sort of letter or note informing me of where he was.
I was quick to grab it, eager to read it. My hands could not move fast enough with unfolding it. Staring at the neatly written words on the parchment, a beaming smile grew on my face. But suddenly, my heart that was floating completely sunk deep into the pit of my stomach as I further read what Calais had written and intended to tell me all along.
My Dearest Orpheus,
It pains me to have to write you this letter. First, let me begin by apologizing for having deceived you. You may be wondering why you passed out so early last night and why you woke up so late this morning. It had nothing to do with the wine. When you weren’t looking, I slipped a vial filled with a sleeping potion into your drink. I was actually quite shocked you managed to remain awake for as long as you did.
I told myself I would never kiss you. That I could not put us through that, but when you stared at me the way you did last night, and I knew it would be our final moments seeing each other, I had to have a taste of you. I could not maintain my control when it came to the feelings I had felt for you.
If I knew I had a better and brighter future ahead of me, I could picture us being together. I would have made love to you last night, with all the strength I had. But unfortunately, the Fates did not give me a more promising future.
When you told me of the prophecy Apollo foresaw with you meeting Jason and all of us at Paestum, and I told you mine, I was not forthcoming with all the details surrounding my prophecy. You see, Orpheus, I was destined to sail the seas on the Argo and partake in the many adventures with Jason and the Argonauts. That I did not lie about. But what I failed to tell you was that the Fates also predicted my death. They foretold my brother, Zetes, and I helping fight the harpies and defend everyone from their encounters. We did manage to chase them off, like I mentioned to you. But on our last stop, before we were to arrive in Iolcus for Jason to reclaim the throne for all of Thessaly, Athena and Hera became aware of a premonition. It showed that when we were to stop at Crete, the only way to bypass the harpies would be for Zetes and me to have a final stand-off with them. Unfortunately, my brother and I would also die along with the harpies.
It was difficult for me to give in to this vision. To accept defeat and death that would be coming my way in the near future. But I had no choice. The closer the days came to us arriving in Crete, the more depressed I became. That is, until I met you, Orpheus. You were so innocent, so beautiful. The katasterismoi shined brightly on you. You brought out a positivity in me I never knew I would find on this journey.
We were getting too close, however. As fond of you as I was, I realized I was doing you a complete disservice by getting so close to you. I could not forgive myself if I were to share a moment of intimacy with you, only to break your heart in the end.
I confessed to Jason all of the feelings I had for you, and how horrible I felt for pulling on the strings of your heart in the process, knowing the dreadful fate that was in store for me. I could not allow you to continue with us on our quest, only to see me die in the end.
Therefore, I asked Jason if I could find a way to keep you here in Drepana. You had already completed your part of our mission. There was nothing else left for you to do here with us. The rest lied in our hands. Jason was reluctant at first, but then agreed to my terms.
Which leads us to this very moment. I needed you to remain away from us or asleep, so that we could make a clean getaway on the Argo without you. I knew you would instantly object to this, so I took matters into my own hands.
As you’re reading this letter, I am likely already gone and we are on our way to Crete. I want you to accept my sacrifice, Orpheus, and my apology. I truly admire you and all that you stand for. I hope you can forgive me for the decision I made. I did it for you… for us.
Yours Truly,
Calais
I slumped onto the bed as I finished Calais’ letter. His epitaph. How could he do this to me? He did not even give me a choice in the matter. It was cruel and unfair. I should be the one to determine whether or not I wanted to continue on the journey with him, Jason, and the rest of the Argonauts. Calais had no right to make this decision for me, even if he knew I would likely suffer from a broken heart when all was said and done.
But I wondered at what time Calais had left this letter on the pillow for me this morning. What if it was only minutes ago? What if theArgowas still docked at the pier and had yet to disembark?
I had to keep my hopes up. I still stood a chance at catching up with Calais and telling him how I was really feeling.
I reached for my tunic and strapped it around myself in haste. Placing my sandals on, I sprinted out of my room and down the stairs of the inn.
“Sir, would you like some…” the inn girl began to ask me, but I brushed right by her, heading for the front door.
“I’m sorry. I must go!” I shouted back behind me. Arriving on the streets of Drepana, I ran past the morning workers and the vendors, selling the early caught fish for the day, among other products.
I weaved in and out of the crowds in the streets, distraught as ever, as I approached the pier. Once I arrived, I placed my hands on my knees, panting to catch a breath from all the running.
But I let out a deep grunt as I glanced up, noticing that theArgowas no longer here. Calais, Jason, and the crew were all gone. They had already set sail for Crete, toward Calais’ doom. I dropped to my knees, not giving a care in the world to the splinters that pierced into my legs from the poorly maintained wood I had fallen on to.
I beat my fist into the pier with deep aggression, yelling to myself. “Why!? Why did he do this to me!? Why did he abandon me!? There could have been another way. We could have figured something out together. Instead, he just completely gave up on me, on himself. Damn him! He gave up onus!” I shouted.
The townsfolk who heard me raised their brows in suspicion, with disgusted looks expressed on their faces, likely wondering why I was not locked up for this erratic behavior I was displaying in public. I completely ignored them and everything else that surrounded me.
I was unsure of what to do from here. What would I do? Where would I go? For once in my life, I had no direction. No guidance. I was on my own and would have to decide on how to proceed from here. Should I return home to my mother and father? Would it be worth a shot to bargain with another sailor and request I sail with him to try and catch up to theArgo, although I had no clue how far beyond Drepana they were at this point? Or maybe I could travel to Iolcus and intercept Jason and the crew. But by then it might be too late. For if Jason had made it back to Iolcus, that would mean that they already made it past the island of Crete, which would mean that Calais was gone and already in the Underworld.
But I had to believe the Fates were wrong with this one. There was a possibility that they could be mistaken in their visions. I had never heard of such an occurrence or error on their part, but I had to believe there was potential for them to produce a false prophecy.
I held on to this belief, deciding it would be the only thing that could propel me forward. It was then decided I would travel to Iolcus in the hopes of finding both Jason and Calais there. It would be a long journey to the city, and I would need to make the venture on my own. Alone, a feeling I had grown to be accustomed to now. It was nothing new. A feeling I began to believe would last a long time with me.
