Page 35 of Arrogance
It was a tricky question Persephone was asking. It was something that was teetering in my mind for nearly a whole year now, since I first had my initial conversation with Apollo on the beach. The more mine and his relationship progressed, the more inclined I felt to reveal our love to Aphrodite. But fear overcame me every time I thought I was fully prepared to come clean to her. I wondered if she would punish me. What if she went to Zeus just as Persephone did? This time, perhaps Zeus would not be as generous in his ruling. What if he sent me off to Tartarus since I was causing such a quarrel among many gods and goddesses? I felt trapped and could do nothing about it. I couldn’t imagine Aphrodite taking this news lightly. No matter what the outcome, I knew I would be damned. And so, I still never mentioned a thing of it to her.
“I’m not sure, honestly. I’m petrified of the outcome. You know how she can be, Persephone.”
Persephone turned her head to me. She had a crooked grin on her face. “You’re right about that. She probably won’t take it well at first, but I have a hunch that she would eventually come around. After all, she has many lovers and even a husband. How could she not see the irony in this?”
This made sense, but Aphrodite was a complicated goddess. I’m not sure Persephone’s logic was as black and white as she was painting it out to be, especially when it came to Aphrodite.
“It’s just hard. I feel practically owned by Aphrodite. It’s as if I have no say in what I can and cannot do. All of my actions must be at her approval. And believe me, falling in love with Apollo is not something she will ever agree upon. In fact, she told me a while ago that she only wants me to act on my physical attraction towards other gods, goddesses, and mortals. Never my emotional ones.”
“But if Apollo loves you, do you not feel protected? Surely, he won’t ever let anything terrible happen to you and neither will I. So, there is no reason for you to have to fear Aphrodite’s wrath as much as you do.”
This appeased me to no end. Persephone’s proclamation was beyond reassuring. I did have her and Apollo’s guardianship to take into consideration. Perhaps with this on my back, telling Aphrodite about my love for Apollo might not be so dreadful. However, there was another looming factor held over my head that also gave me worry that still needed to be resolved.
“Yes. I do feel protected and know he would have my back, but there’s something else I didn’t tell you that still plagues me,” I began to explain. “I forgot to mention that there is another goddess who knows about my affair with Apollo. And I foresee her making this a major issue.”
“Who is the goddess?” Persephone inquired with a quizzical expression on her face.
“Apollo’s sister.”
“Artemis? Well, why would you be so concerned with her? Do you really think she would want to see Apollo harmed in any way?”
“I honestly don’t know. She caught us making love on the Shrine of Delphi. I don’t think Apollo has confronted her about it yet. I’m sure they’ll have a conversation about it soon, though.”
“The Shrine of Delphi!? Why would you both choose to make love there of all places? Do you not realize how precarious that is!?” Persephone exclaimed.
“I know. I know. We got so caught up in the moment that we completely avoided our rectitude.”
Persephone let out another heavy sigh, letting me know of her chagrin. “I’m sorry you have so much worry, Adonis. But you should never feel backed into a corner, by no mortal, nor god. Even as a human, you are beyond powerful and valuable. Always remember that.”
I managed to muster up a smirk from her compliment. “Thank you, Persephone.”
She returned the smile back to me before twisting her head to glance out the window once more, transfixed on the dark scene of the Underworld before us. “Adonis, have I ever told you the full story of how I came to be Queen of the Underworld?”
I shook my head. “No. But I have heard rumors…”
“Well, it’s not far off from what you’re experiencing now. I once felt trapped too. I thought I could not escape my fate, and I had to abide by all rules and live my life for the sake of others,” she shared. “I once lived on the surface with my mother, Demeter, Goddess of the harvest, agriculture, and the world’s bountiful fertility. She is an impressive goddess."
Persephone’s gaze then cast down to the floor as she reminisced. “Little did my mother and I know at the time that Zeus was pulling strings behind the scenes. He made a deal with Hades and offered me to be his wife. It was an arranged marriage. So, one day, I was gathering flowers in a field for an herbal remedy I was concocting. As I was plucking some of the stems, a shadow suddenly hovered over the entire field. I glanced up to see that the sun was no longer prevalent. The atmosphere became dark and in a matter of seconds, all I could hear was a loud bustling commotion coming from behind me. I had no time to react and turn around to see the source of the turbulence. For as I spun, I felt a hand tug and grab at me. I was yanked and tossed into an onyx chariot. Startled, I curled into the corner of the floor of the chariot. I was shocked to see that it was Hades. He had abducted me and dragged me back down with him into his Underworld. I was held prisoner there for several days. Hades informed me that I had to agree to be his wife and that I would remain locked in one of his tower dungeons until I accepted this fate. Reluctantly, I had no choice but to agree after several days of enduring loneliness and a lack of food. But as I was about to agree to his terms, the God of the Underworld spoke up before me, revealing that Zeus demanded my return to the surface. Apparently, my mother made threats to cause famine, leading to the deaths of many humans on Earth if I was not brought back to the surface. Zeus had no choice but to give in and order Hades to release me.” Persephone closed her eyes and gave a deep breath before proceeding with her story.
“But before I could return to the upper world, Hades offered me a pomegranate. I was starving and hadn’t eaten in days, so I accepted his offering. I bit into the succulent hibiscus-colored fruit. Its juices were superbly sweet. Its seeds tart. After I devoured the pomegranate, Hades escorted me into his chariot and we rode to the surface. He presented me to my mother and Zeus on Mount Olympus. I sprang from the chariot and sprinted to my mother, lunging myself into her arms. I thought it would be the end of my turmoil. The last time I would ever have to witness the Underworld and the heinous god that ruled over it. But I was completely mistaken. I was fooled. Hades spoke up to my mother and Zeus. ‘By keeping her here, you are breaking your own rules, brother. She ate a pomegranate, the nectar of the Underworld. She now belongs to it. She cannot spend her entire life here.’ I became bitter, resentful of what Hades did. He knew what he was doing when giving me that fruit, knowing I would accept it because I was practically starving. He had tricked me, and I had taken his bait. Zeus was in quite the dilemma here, so he had to submit to both parties. I would spend part of the time on the surface with my mother, but then half of my time belonged to Hades and committing myself to him and the Underworld as his wife. My mother grieved over this decision and promised to cause suffering when I was absent, away from her. I am the reason why humans experience different seasons. During the colder times of the year, that is when I’m in the Underworld. My mother plagues the Earth and refuses to let any crops and food grow from the grounds. When I return to her, she allows the soil to once again be fertile and for the luscious green grasses, trees, and flowers to fully bloom and blossom,” Persephone revealed.
I knew bits and pieces of her story, but not to this extent. It was troubling to hear all that she had endured throughout her entire life. It painted a whole new picture of Persephone in my head. I could not believe this was the first time she was ever being this vulnerable with me. I wish she spoke of this years ago. It would have made me more sympathetic and compassionate towards the goddess.
She continued with her tale. “I became Queen of the Underworld and felt completely trapped. I had no say in my destiny. I was forced to serve as Hades’ wife and then commit myself to my mother and her deity when I was on the surface. I wanted to give up all hope.”
“But clearly, you didn’t give up hope,” I interjected.
She shook her head. “I realized my worth. I was far too valuable to Hades and Demeter. So, if I decided to defy them, there was no way they could possibly punish me. They needed me and secretly worshipped me. I took complete advantage of the circumstance. Now I do as I please, in the Underworld and on the surface, although I don’t spend many days on Earth any longer,” she shared.
“And why is that? You would think you would want to spend your time above,” I stated.
“Believe it or not, the more time I spent with Hades, the more I grew fond of him. There is more to the God of the Underworld than meets the eye. It’s something you wouldn’t understand, because it’s my experiences and time spent with him that makes me feel this way and love him for all that he is. But again, just like most other gods and goddesses, we do take on other lovers to sustain our sexual thirsts. It’s our lifestyle. It’s in our blood.”
This was a lot to take in. I began to realize that Persephone and I had a lot more in common than I had originally thought. She too was sentenced to a life spent partially on the surface and in the Underworld that was once out of her control. But now, it seemed she took that control back from the other gods.
“So you see, Adonis, I walked the same path you are currently trekking. In due time, you too will realize your worth and value, just as I did. You should take full advantage of that and live your life the way you desire. Don’t take others’ feelings into consideration when you make choices and decisions. They certainly haven’t cared about your feelings, have they?” Persephone questioned.
Although Persephone was being enigmatic with her reference, I knew she was talking about Aphrodite. And she was right. Aphrodite sometimes valued her opinions and wishes far more than my own. But I still loved Aphrodite. She has given me so much and provided for me in so many ways that Persephone had yet to comprehend. But at the same time, I could not lie to myself. I loved Apollo far more. I wanted to be with him permanently, more than anything.
