Page 102 of Crash: Love in Scrubs
Her smile was bright as she talked animatedly with Lorana, but the moment she turned and saw me, it faltered. Still, against her wishes, I watched her cheeks rise in that involuntary way they did when she was fighting not to be happy to see me.
I approached the table and greeted everyone, John-Dale with a firm handshake, Lorana with a hug, and hit Samaj with our usual dap. But my eyes never left Sametra.
“Excuse us,” she said, grabbing my hand and dragging me toward the back of the restaurant to Lorana’s office. The comfortable warmth of her touch sent electricity through me, even though I could feel the tension in her grip. She slammed the door shut and flipped the light on, then turned to face me with her arms crossed.
“Hey, beautiful, these are for you.”
“Hey?” Her voice was sharp. “What are you doing here, Malik?”
I inhaled we needed to do this, have this conversation so we could hopefully move on.
“It’s been weeks, Sametra. I’m trying to figure out how I’m supposed to win you back when you won’t give me the time of day. Did you break up with me and forget to inform me?”
“You got some nerve,” she said, stepping closer and poking me in the chest. “Isn’t that what you did? Not inform me? Now you want to be in the loop. It doesn’t work that way.”
“MiMi, I was wrong for not telling you, but I’m not going to apologize for trying to protect your peace and keep bullshit away from you. That nigga wanted to use you as a pawn.”
“You don’t get it.” Her voice cracked slightly, and I could see the exhaustion wearing on her.
“Maybe I don’t get it. I’ve apologized, and I’ll try to never keep anything from you again, but if it meant you could enjoy your first day of school, study for your first big test, and help Samaj with his recovery, I was going to carry that burden. I’m not apologizing for doing what you needed me to do, fuck what you wanted in that moment.”
She stared at me, her chest rising and falling rapidly. “What Ineeded? Fuck what I wanted? That doesn’t sound like an apology to me. Still sounds like excuses. What I needed was to be treated like your partner, not your child. What about my voice?”
“Partner? I don’t know why that feels too fucking formal for me. Let’s be clear, you are my woman, my world, the light of my damn life, soon-to-be wife. I don’t need a partner in crime. I need a woman who trusts and believes that at every turn, her best interest is all I’m thinking about. Are you that woman?”
“Malik, I beg your pardon.”
“You still love him? Is that why you wanted to know? So you could protect him? I’m just tryna understand.”
I knew she didn’t but if we were spewing bullshit, I’d spew some too.
“Are you crazy? Hell no, I don’t love him, but my voice matters. And before we go further, I need to know you understand that.”
“You flodgin’ Sametra, this wasn’t about your voice, this was about control. I know it’s been you and Samaj, but you got me now too. You wanted to be the one to handle Ashe yourself, but the man I ran up on was desperate and dangerous. He would’ve done anything to get what he wanted. I’d never throw you to the wolves like that. Fuck that.”
“I wanted us to face problems together; not have you decide what I can and can’t handle. You were ready to get rid of him permanently. I don’t know this side of you, and that scares me.”
I stepped closer, close enough to smell her perfume, to see the tears she was fighting back. “You’re right. And we will face everything together moving forward. But you need to understand that I’m capable of a lot when it comes to protecting my family. But you never have to be afraid of me.”
“I trusted you.”
“You can still trust me.”
I reached for her face, my thumb brushing away a tear that had escaped. “I love you too much to watch you suffer when I can prevent it.”
She leaned into my touch for just a moment before pulling away.
“This is what we’re doing?”
“And what is that?”
“Continue playing games, dragging this shit out, pulling from me. I’m ready to come home, Sametra. I’m ready to be with you and plan the rest of our lives. What’s really good?”
“Watch it, Malik. It’s still not even resolved. Is Ashe still trying to get money? Are you fired from work? This whole thing was messy and reckless to begin with. I don’t want to start over with more mess. And if I hadn’t been with you, he wouldn’t havetried to extort you. So forgive me if I feel like I should be a part of cleaning up my mess.”
“And you know this is exactly whyourson didn’t want you to know. He didn’t want you to carry the burden of guilt that wasn’t yours to carry. This wasn’t about you being weak; this had everything to do with the love we have for you. But it’s over with.”
“What do you mean it’s over with?”
