Page 19 of Crash: Love in Scrubs
“Girl don’t even try it. You said he was fine, you didn’t say he was fucking gorgeous, with a full beard, perfect line up, and a deep voice that shook the ground under us. Dr. Big Daddy had to check Ashe as too. He said ‘Sametra, I asked you a question’,” she mocked, causing me to roll my eyes at her attempt at his voice.
“Simmer down, hot pocket. His name is Dr. Holloway to you,” I corrected, which only made them exchange looks. “And I may have liked it a little more than I want to admit.”
“Excuse me, I guess she told me,” Halo laughed. “Winnie you should’ve seen how he handled Ashe’s trifling ass? Had that man almost escorted out like the trash he is. Got his ass right on up outta there.”
The memory of Malik stepping in, taking control of the situation without me even asking, made something warm curl in my stomach. Besides my father and Samaj, and a few male friends at the station, interactions with the opposite sex had been few and far between. Every man I’d dealt with since Ashe had come with an agenda, a timeline, an expectation of what I owed them for their attention. They either wanted to fix me, change me, or prove something to themselves through me.
But Malik moved with the assurance of a man who knew exactly what he wanted and wasn't pressed about when he’d get it. Because he knew he would. He could have left me to argue with Ashe, but he didn't. He saw that my walls weren't obstacles to overcome but just part of who I was—something to be patient with, not bulldozed through.
Malik kept it respectful but also let it be known not to push him. I found that combination very alluring. I was running out of reasons to keep him at arm's length. Soon I wouldn't be able to deny that the man I'd been waiting for was standing right in front of me.
Lord help me.
“He was just doing his job,” I lied coming back to the conversation.
“Job my ass,” Halo said. “That man was protecting his woman.”
“I’m not his woman.”
“Yet. And you want to be and he damn sure wants you to be,” Halo said, pointing her glass at me. “Don’t lie to us, MiMi.”
My phone ringing on the table stopped me from answering because I could see myself with a man like Malik, and that wasjust from the preliminary and very short time spent with one another. It seemed like he could give me what I needed. And the things I didn’t know I needed. I missed the call, taking forever to get to the table, but I had a text message when I grabbed my phone.
Dr. Holloway: Didn’t I say I’d be checking in on you? You good? Call me.
I stepped away from my girls while they all gave me knowing looks and called him back. He picked up on the second ring.
“Look at LT following orders. I know that hurt.” His voice came through, amused. He sounded like he was home, and I laughed to myself, how the hell would I know? I was so bad at this, and I hoped he couldn’t tell.
I never cared about impressing a man. What was the point? For seventeen years, I’d focused on being impressive for myself, building my career, raising my son, creating a life that didn't require anyone’s approval. Men came and went, but none of them had ever made me second-guess my perfume choice or wonder if I sounded too eager when I called back. It hadn't been on my agenda, this wanting to be seen as desirable, as worth pursuing.
For some reason, I wanted to impress him. I wanted him to hear something in my voice that made him smile the way I was smiling right now. I wanted to be the woman he thought about when he was settling into his chair at home, the one who made him call just to hear her voice.
“Don’t get cute with me. My girls are over, so it took me a minute,” I said, but I was smiling. “I called you back, didn’t I?”
“You did. I’m impressed and appreciative. How’s the patient?”
“Settled in his room, pain meds got him knocked out. I think seeing his father threw him off more than he expected. Didn’t say much coming home.”
“And how’s his mama?”
The way he asked it, gentle, but he was making it clear my safety and comfort were important, it made my stomach flutter. “She’s...processing. Did I do too much? I feel like I did too much.”
“With Ashe? Hell nah. You did exactly what you needed to do. I would’ve been disappointed if you hadn’t checked him. I know my lady got some bark and an even bigger bite.”
“Really?”
“Really.” We bypassed him calling me his lady because he was doing too much, and my cheeks were hurting because of it. When he spoke, I listened, and that was rare.
“That man showed up on discharge day talking about ‘my son’ like he’d been there all along. You had every right to go off.” His voice got serious. “And for what it’s worth, I’m proud of how you handled it with Samaj afterward. That couldn’t have been easy.”
My shoulders relaxed at the validation. A part of me knew I’d done what was best. I just hadn’t anticipated getting there so soon. Seeing Ashe took me back and had me seeing red. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to fake the funk and be embarrassed about being a deadbeat. Especially when he didn’t have to be. “It wasn’t. Part of me wanted to tell him hell no, but...”
“But you’re a good mama who knows her son has to make his own mistakes.”
“Something like that.”
“That’s what love looks like, Sametra. Protection when it counts. Distance when it’s needed. And the strength to know the difference. It’s a balance.”
