Page 68 of Full Tilt
“No? Sure sounds like it.”
“He’s fine. He really is.”
My thoughts went back to when Jonah picked me up at the airport ten days ago. He held up a big sign with my name on it and joked that it was the last time he’d be my limo driver. I threw my arms around him and hugged him tight, and I felt his heartbeat against my chest, strong and steady…
“So he’s been cured?”
“Shut up, Lola. He’s fine right now. I’m not going to spend whatever time we have dwelling on maybes and what-ifs. And it’s fucking awful of you to try to ruin my happiness.”
“I’m not trying to ruin anything for you, Kacey. I’m trying to protect you.”
“Well, I’m done needing your protection. I know what I’m doing.”
“Do you? Because it sounds like you’ve taken yourself out of one shitty situation and plopped yourself smack in the middle of another.” A pause. “Are you two…together? Please tell me you’re not crazy enough to get involved with a guy who’s…really sick.”
“We’re just friends. Good friends. One of the best I’ve had in a while. He makes me feel like I can be myself.” I sounded petulant but I had made a plan to live moment by moment. I wasn’t ready to look ahead four months. Not yet.
Maybe never. Maybe his meds are working…
“Well, I’m happy for you, Kacey,” Lola said, pulling me out of my thoughts. “And I want the best for you. But I don’t want you to become lost.”
“Lost?”
“When the lights finally go out.”
I bit my lip, trying to find something to say, some retort. My doorbell rang. “I have to go, Lola. The IKEA people are here.”
“Okay, hon. Take care.”
“Love you. Bye.” I hung up and set the phone on the counter. Then turned it to silent. Then facedown.
I answered the front door, not to IKEA deliverymen, but to Jonah. My face broke out in a huge smile as if I hadn’t just seen him two days before, and the blood rushed to my cheeks.
Jeez, get a grip.
He looked handsome as hell in simple jeans and a dark green T-shirt. He stood with his hands jammed in the front pockets of his jeans, a bemused look on his face.
“You’re not my couch,” I said, feigning confusion.
“Not since last I checked. But speaking of bulky household furnishings, I got a very interesting delivery yesterday,” he said, rocking back on his heels.
“Did you?”
“I did. You wouldn’t know anything about an expensive-as-hell-Sleep-Number-adjustable-state-of-the-art-remote-controlled-mega-bedI found on my doorstep, would you?”
I pretended to be alarmed. “On yourdoorstep? God, I hope not. That bed soundsawesome.I would’ve thought it’d come with actual people to set it up.”
“Oh, it did. A whole team of technicians who were ‘under orders’ to not take no for an answer.” He sighed and shook his head, his expression turning grave. “Kace, it’s too much. Too expensive. You didn’t need to do that.”
“Yes, I did,” I said. “I wouldn’t have quit the band if you hadn’t given me a place to crash and get my head on straight. This is my thank you.” I planted one hand on my hip. “Are you going to stand in the door all afternoon? You’re letting in all that godawful heat.”
Jonah stared at me a moment longer, eyes narrowed.
I stared back. “What?”
“I’m debating whether it’ll do any good to arguewith you.”
“It won’t,” I said. “In or out? You’re like a goddamn cat.”
