Page 119 of Full Tilt
I grabbed the last stray pills and got shakily to my feet. I set the container carefully on the counter, then washed my face in the sink with cold water. Patting it dry with a dish towel, I crept back toward my room.
Jonah slept now, his eyes no longer covered by his arm. His closed lids were smooth, his breathing deep and even. Only the tiniest furrow in his brow, as if whatever unsettled him went with him into sleep.
I went back to the living room and dug my cell phone out of my purse. I’d order a pizza. Vegetarian. That was better for him. Or maybe salads. Too much cheese on a pizza…
I opened up my call screen and hit a name. A deep, gruff voice answered.
“Teddy,” I whispered, tears flooding my eyes again. “It’s starting.”
PART III
“A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” —Mark Twain
CHAPTER
THIRTY-NINE
The next day, Jonah checked into the Sunrise Medical facility for a myocardial biopsy. Someone told me—I didn’t remember who—that it was a same-day office procedure, but his doctor, Dr. Morrison, wanted Jonah to stay overnight for more tests. Kidney and liver panels, and an EKG.
“Are you his girlfriend?” Dr. Morrison asked in the hall outside Jonah’s room. Theo stood beside me.
“Yes,” I said, hugging my arms. “Kacey Dawson.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Kacey,” Dr. Morrison said. He was a lovely man, with a graying beard and sharp, kind eyes. I liked him at once, but all the while we exchanged pleasantries, I screamed at him in my mind…
FIX HIM
MAKE HIM WELL.
GIVE HIM BACK TO ME.
Dr. Morrison explained what Jonah would need while recovering from a biopsy. “It would be ideal if someone were with him for the twenty-four hours after the procedure. Presuming he’s released tomorrow morning as planned.”
“Why wouldn’t he be released?” I asked.
“No reason at this time. We’ll let the test results come backand go from there, all right?”
We were allowed in Jonah’s room then. He lay reclined in bed, an IV of clear fluid hung over him and fed into the back of his right hand, the needle taped just above his medic alert bracelet. He threw us a glance of greeting. He’d been sullen and silent all morning. Unreachable. As Theo and I took a seat on either side of the bed, he looked at neither of us but absently cycled through channels on the muted wall TV.
“Mom and Dad are on the way,” Theo said.
“They don’t need to come.”
“You’re in the hospital,” his brother replied, barely keeping the sharp edge out of his voice. “You think Mom will stay away?”
Jonah shrugged and said nothing.
“Oscar texted me,” Theo continued. “He’s at work and wants to come. He and Dena both. I told them it’s not an emergency.”
“Good.”
I put my hand over Jonah’s, mindful of the IV. He didn’t react, didn’t move to take my hand or look at me. I sucked down the pain roaring within me,I’m not strong enough for this. I’m not I’m not I’m not…
Theo’s eyes found mine, searchingly. Like Lola, ready and waiting for me to flake out right before a big show, only the stakes were a billion times higher.
You knew this was coming, I told myself.Youknewit wasn’t going to be long walks on the beach in San Diego and making love all night, every night. This is it. This is real, and now you’re going to stay and fucking take it.
Except that I didn’t think we’d actually be here. I’d always held on to a little flame of hope and now it was guttering out.
