Page 144 of He Is My Bride
This was supposed to be happy news, the fulfillment of all their hard work, their hopes and prayers, that Hanjun’s family would accept Li Ying, but Li Ying felt hollow.
“Of course, you should bemarriedas soon as possible. I expect there to be more paperwork involved, seeing as you are a foreigner, so start applying for your marriage certificate as soon as you next return to Shanghai. As for the wedding ceremony later, you will be recommended wedding planners, and you will be consulted on your wishes, but the occasion should respect tradition.”
“I understand.”
“Very well, then. I haven’t much knowledge on these matters, so I will leave it to the professionals. I urge you to defer to their and my mother’s advice on everything.”
“Yes.”
“Very good. Now, you should go say goodbye to Hanjun before you return to America. Focus on your studies and planning your parts of the wedding, and I will see to the rest here in Shanghai.”
“Thank you, Mister Wu.” Li Ying tried to smile, but it was hard, and Wu Yiheng was too observant:
“What is it? Are you still not happy?”
“I just wish that at some point, Uncle and I could truly become family.” That was not what bothered Li Ying, not half of it.Although you have always treated even your own nephew this coldly, haven’t you? What else should I expect to be my part?
Wu Yiheng studied his face, his thoughts a mystery behind that mask of severity. “We shall see. Goodbye for now, Li Ying.”
At least he didn’t tell me off for calling him ‘Uncle.’
Li Ying stood up, bowed from the waist—it seemed appropriate in the situation—and left the office.
Li Ying returned to the car where Hanjun was sitting, waiting, staring ahead, and worrying. He turned his head when he saw Li Ying approach from his peripheral.
Despite his anxiety, Li Ying had to smile when he saw the face of his future lawful husband.
Hanjun’s heart felt lighter after seeing that smile. The news must not have been bad, then, for Li Ying to smile, but there was something sad in his eyes too.
“Guess what?” Li Ying asked Hanjun as he sat in the passenger seat.
“Well?” Hanjun looked at Li Ying with a mixture of hope and worry.
“Wu Yiheng has blessed our marriage!” Li Ying threw himself at Hanjun, hugging him.
Being close to him made Li Ying feel better about everything, even with the sacrifices he would have to make. It would be worth it.
It would.
Hanjun hugged Li Ying back, stunned at the sudden happy news. “I’m… I’m glad.” Once Hanjun let Li Ying go, he asked: “How did it go?”
Li Ying explained to Hanjun while they drove home. Recounting all the points Wu Yiheng had made, Li Ying fell silent.
“Are you alright?” Hanjun asked when his fiancé had sat quietly for a prolonged moment.
“I guess I’m just starting to realize how radically my life will change for good once I settle down here. I don’t mind pretending to be a woman per se, but not being able to beallof myself most of the time is… Well, I have to get used to living a double life, that I knew, and that there would always be the risk of getting caught that comes with it, so we must stay careful. But we have managed well so far, haven’t we?”
“…Mm.” Hanjun looked ahead on the road, a frown settling upon his brow.
“And even if I didn’t have to pretend to be a woman, probably even to our… even to our own children.”
Hanjun felt a cold emptiness grip him. He was ready to lie at the face of the whole world to be with Li Ying, but how had he not, in his single-minded needto marry Li Ying no matter the cost, ever considered that the lie might have to extend to their children as well? It would be simply too dangerous to tell them the truth.
It seemed Li Ying had thought about this and was ready to accept that even his own children wouldn’t know who he truly was, who their father truly loved.
It broke Hanjun’s heart, but Li Ying continued with a lightness of tone which Hanjun knew he used to cover up his own hurt:
“Even without the masquerading, I have to fit into the society life from here on. But I couldn’t have kept living the way I have forever, I guess. I had to grow up eventually, drop the bar crawls and rock concerts. Now I will be a respectable citizen and a hard worker, a dutiful wife and a good mother, and I won’t have so much time to get into trouble anymore. That’s a good thing, right?” Li Ying laughed dryly and fidgeted with his hem, looking out of the window. “But I suppose I’m… hoping that I could still get up to mischief sometimes, you know? Maybe when I visit New York, then I can be just a hoodlum of a man for a few days where no one knows me.”
