Page 10 of He Is My Bride
“Li Ying!” Hanjun raised his voice.
He had grabbed Li Ying’s shoulders so hard the man winced. Hanjun eased his hold. “I’m sorry.” Hanjun stroked Li Ying’s arms soothingly. “That’s not what’s happening here.”
“Is it because of your family?” Li Ying asked. “I understand.” He stared down at his hands, feeling helpless.
“Forget about them.” Hanjun couldn’t believe those words just left his mouth. “This is about us.”
“And what about us?” Li Ying’s choked-up voice was but a whisper. He looked meekly up at Hanjun. “Is this it?”
Hanjun pulled him into his arms. “I hope not.” He ran his hand through Li Ying’s hair. “Please don’t misunderstand me, but you knew my position in New York was temporary.”
“Yeah. I was just hoping that if you loved me enough, I could convince you to stay.”
Now it was Hanjun’s turn to feel like he’d been punched in the face. “That’s unfair.”
Li Ying knew. He felt bad doubting Hanjun’s love and making him feel guilty over his own insecurities, but sometimes he couldn’t help himself.
“I love you,” Hanjun said. “You are…”Don’t fail me now, words!“You are myeverything,Li Ying. I know I’ve put off thinking about the inevitable for too long, but this whole day I’ve been trying to figure out how to make this work.”
Every plan Hanjun had hatched was more desperate than the last, but he prayed one of them would work.
“The terms of my return are non-negotiable,” Hanjun went on, “the terms of Uncle Yiheng are non-negotiable. I’m needed at the main office, but depending on your wishes, we can make arrangements.”
“‘Arrangements?’”
“I could visit you as often as I can while working remotely.” Plan A.
“That’s… No!” Li Ying protested. “I don’t want a long-distance relationship! If you really must leave.” He was grasping for any other solution. “I know, I could apply to a medical school in Shanghai!”
“Just don’t make hastydecisions—”
“Must you always be so damn reasonable?!” Li Ying snapped.
Hanjun fell quiet, feeling lost again. “What do you want me to say?” he asked quietly.
Li Ying wasn’t sure what he wanted to hear, either. “I… Sorry, I didn’t mean to blame you. For any of this. Hey.”
Li Ying swung himself at Hanjun and climbed onto his lap, straddled his thighs and sank his hands into his hair, looking him firmly in the eyes. “I’m not letting you leave me here, okay? I don’t wanna go long-distance, it never works out.”
Hanjun’s voice was quiet, “You wouldn’t wait for me?”
He couldn’t blame Li Ying for moving on with his life if they got separated because of Hanjun’s work, but he didn’t want to imagine a life without Li Ying. Neither did he think it fair if Li Ying had to uproot his entire life for his sake, but it gave Hanjun hope for plans B and C, that Li Ying wasn’t opposed to moving to Shanghai.
Li Ying punched Hanjun’s shoulder, hissing, “Of course I would! I would wait for you for a thousand years!” He kissed Hanjun desperately. “But I would be lonely. And what ifyouforgot about me?”
“I could never forget you.” Hanjun’s voice was but a whisper, yet steadfast, and his eyes didn’t lie as he looked at Li Ying’s.
“Good. Because I would haunt you.”
“You’re not dead.”
“I might be—from missing you!”
“Li Ying…” Hanjun seemed uncomfortable, a light frown upon his fine brow.
“I can’t even fall asleep without you! I can’t… I can’t just let you go and leave me behind. I’ll figure something out so I can move to Shanghai with you.”
“Let’s think about this together,” Hanjun said. “You are already in your third year, it would be a waste if you had to reapply to medical school from year one due to moving countries. If you wanted to moveto Shanghai with me, I would welcome you, but don’t you think you should graduate first?”
