Page 61 of He Is My Bride
“Yeah, yeah, Hanjun is doing fine, although he’s had to work a lot,” Li Ying said when Uncle Qian asked how hisfriendhad been doing.
“No Christmas celebrations at all, then?” Uncle Qian asked.
“Not really. I…” Li Ying looked at Hanjun, who could read the sadness in his eyes. “I mean, I’m so,sohappy I came here. It has really been…” Li Ying looked again at the engagement ring on his finger, “…amazing. But I miss you all and kinda wish I could be there with you as well, you know, having a family holiday.”
“We miss you too, Li Ying. It’s less lively without you here, but I’m happy you’re having fun. Enjoy the trip! We’ll see each other soon, then you can tell us all about Shanghai.”
“Yeah, can’t wait to tell you…” Li Ying had to draw breath as his throat got tight, “all about it…”
“Li Ying? Is everything okay?” Uncle Qian asked gently.
Li Ying couldn’t take it and broke into sobs, through which he still carried on:
“I’m just a little homesick, that’s all. I really miss you guys.”
Hanjun looked at Li Ying with sympathy. He put a hand on his shoulder, and Li Ying placed his hand over his.
“Li Ying,” Uncle Qian spoke, “if you need anything, just ask, okay?”
“Yeah.” Li Ying sniffled. “Thanks. Gee, I didn’t know I’m this sentimental, heh.”
“It’s okay. Call if you want to talk, alright?”
“Okay, thanks. Ugh, sorry about that…”
“It’s okay.”
Li Ying wiped his eyes, swallowing his tears and trying to be a big boy.
“Amy wants to talk to you,” Uncle Qian said over the line, “I’ll hand over the phone.”
Next Li Ying heard his sister’s worried voice on the line:
“Hi, Li Ying, is everything okay?”
“Hi, Amy! Yeah, I don’t know, I just got super homesick and cried like a stupid baby, haha!” Li Ying exchanged a few words with Amy, and that cheered him up.
“Kai said hi too,” Amy said.
“Tell him I said hi back,” Li Ying and Amy then hung up after some more ‘merry Christmases.
Li Ying put the phone down and looked at Hanjun. “I just wish…” Li Ying had to fight the lump in his throat again to keep talking, “that I could tell them that I just got engaged to the love of my life.”
Hanjun pulled him into a hug, staying silent.
“But I don’t think we can ever tell them,” Li Ying said, sobbing again. “Not because they would know I’m gay, what’s that to them? It doesn’t matter as much because I’m not a Qian. But—”
“You matter,” Hanjun said firmly.
“But I’m someone else’s kid who’s not affiliated with the family name. And, you know, that could have been a boon; I don’t face the same expectations as a son as Kai does. Or you.”
Hanjun remained quiet, just holding him. Aside from feeling sorry for Li Ying, he felt conflicted. Guilty.
“But if they knew who you are, they could figure out, you know,whoyou are, and if they got in touch with your family, it would be over for us,” Li Ying said.
“Not over.”
“Well, you would be screwed. I don’t want you to get disowned.”
