Page 11 of The Banning of Bath Bombs
Declan was serious. She occasionally allowed him to shelve new books. He just had to compromise with extra stacks for her to place them in. It grated on his nerves that she always reshelved them, however. Declan should really rein her in. Spoiled child forgot who the parent was!
In case you were wondering, it was Declan. Declan brought her into being by sheer will, love, careful tending, and a strange sense of forgetfulness that had haunted him for what seemed like millennia. Maybe longer. She was his love, his joy, and adding to her had always filled him with great pride. The feeling was akin to a real father bringing home treats and toys for his child to love, play with, and cherish.
Alas, she’d become an opinionated adult with concrete ideas on shelving and book manners. His other children, especially Kit and Gun, often called him a squirrel crossed with crackhead tendencies. True, he was excitable, but crackhead? How could they link Declan with those poor souls? They only needed help to overcome their addictions. He definitely didnotneed intervention. Surely they could see why he needed more books! Surely…
He sighed and wandered around Kyou’s house, skimming the first chapter of the book to refresh his memory. He’d been here less than an hour and a half and had read the entire book on coding and hacking. It had given him so many delicious ideas.
Not even thirty minutes ago, two stunning young men had brought a young lady—Remi—to Kyou. She was quite pretty with long brown hair in a gentle curl down her back, looking as if she’d anticipated a comfortable evening in. She wore pajama pants covered in some cartoon character and a purple hoodie that had holes along the hem. She barely gave Declan a wave and a glance before she put on headphones with some comic woman on the outer part—Black Widow, if he wasn’t mistaken. Then she was in her own little world, lost in her array of monitors and keyboards.
With her and Kyou lost in cyberspace, Declan sat at a third terminal near Remi’s station. He used this time to explore the complex system, still barely grasping what he had just learned,when another thought struck him. He glanced at a monitor. Then he stared at the towers by his station for a moment more.
His mind went in a million directions, searching his memories for a spell before sitting up straighter. He gave the monitor a bright smile and the nearest tower a fond pat.
“How would you like to become sentient, my dear?” he asked quietly.
“I already am,” Remi said, peeking at him from underneath her outer monitor. The octopus arms lifting the monitors off the desk were intriguing. They did hamper sightlines, however. “Are you having a mental break? I heard such episodes can come from stress or a bad diet or something.”
“No, my darling. I am not having a mental break. But I am having a brilliant idea.”
She gave him a curious but doubtful stare before closing down her station and scooching over to his. Without a by-your-leave, she draped herself over the back of his chair and stared at his monitor. “Dec. There’s not a game installed that has sentience as a plotline. Are you okay?”
Declan gave her hand a squeeze before typing away on his keyboard. He murmured spellwords as he typed, his fingers leaving faint glowing trails across the keyboard as he picked up speed. Remi stiffened, one hand grasping his shoulder as if in warning. She leaned toward the monitors before her jaw dropped and she was left spluttering.
“Dec? Why are your fingers and eyes glowing? And why—”
“What?” From the corner of his eye, Declan saw Kyou throw his headphones so forcefully they almost landed on the ground. K scrambled to stand next to Declan’s other shoulder, staring at Declan’s still moving fingers, then up at his glowing eyes, and finally…finally at the monitors.
“Fuck! Abort!”
Without waiting for Declan to close out of the program or anything other than pout and whine, Kyou had the power strips for Declan’s station unplugged, their tails in his hands, prongs pointing accusingly at Declan’s chest.
“What was that? What the fucking fuck?”
Declan cupped his hands around Remi’s headphone-covered ears. “Such language young man. And in front of alady? Why, you should be ashamed, sir!”
K rolled his eyes and flicked Declan’s ear with his free hand. “Tell me what you were trying to do, and don’t bullshit me.”
Giving K his best watery eyes and quivering lip, Declan shrugged one shoulder. “I was trying to give my new friend sentience.” He patted the chassis for emphasis. “She deserves to have a voice.”
Remi looked at him with all the sage wisdom of a teen. “You can’t make a computer sentient, Dec. It’s not possible.”
Declan turned his pout toward her. “Impossible does not exist in our world, young lady. If it did, I would not have a sentient library.”
Her eyes widened before she looked at Kyou. “Please, Uncle K! Please can I watch him make this computer sentient? We’d own the first real AI that isn’t a shitshow!”
Kyou wiped a hand over his face, a man resigned to this absurdity. Or was it resignation that this young lady spoke fluent curses like a thirty-year-old police officer with a drinking problem. Either way, he muttered, “I don’t have enough Monster to deal with this shit.”
“You need to cut down,” Remi said mock sweetly. “Remember what Brannigan said? You need to cut down so you don’t end up with tachycardia, increased anxiety, seizures, or worse. It’s bad for you, Uncle K. I want you around forever.”
K’s expression softened and he kissed the top of her head before grabbing a Gatorade from the mini fridge under his desk.When Remi beamed at him, he glowered but took a few chugs of fruit punch Gatorade before pointing at Declan. “Do not, underanycircumstance, turn my computer! I have enough organic beings around me. I almost got the hives, thank you.”
“Aww. Uncle K, it’s all right. You can sad panda into your pajamas and onto Uncle Bran’s lap in a few hours. I was tracking the plane on one of my screens.” Remi shot off back to her workstation. “They just landed and Uncle Ivan is on the move, already at the airport.”
Her head tilted and she grinned. “Yeah, we’re here. Putting you on speaker.”
She touched a button on her desk interface and Ivan’s amiable tone came through. “I see their luggage.I pick up for them, da?They’re still disembarking from the plane.”
“Correct,” Remi said. “Wait. I have eyes on them. They’re in the building.”
