Page 34 of Meek: Chasing That Gangsta Love
“Yo Kish! Chill!”Demond grabbed me. “Let her unstable ass go, this shit is bigger than her.”
I sat downand dropped my head in my lap. How dare she come here and do this to me? What the fuck had I ever done to her? Why couldn’t my past be left in the past? My shit was like an open book that would never close. I felt disgusted with myself all over again and I damn sure couldn’t fall asleep or focus after that. As a matter-of-fact the sun was up and I was still posted in my seat with red and baggy eyes when the doctor came and spoke with me telling me that Meek was finished with surgery.
“Where is he?Can I see him?” I asked anxiously.
“Are they with you?”He asked pointing to Demond and Mya as they both slept in the seats.
I eyeballedthem both and nodded my head. “Yes, why?”
“Well.”He said. “It’s pretty critical right now, the bullet was only inches away from his heart and little pieces of the fragments are still there, as long as they don’t turn life threatening then we won’t remove them and make him more uncomfortable. The only way we’ll go back in is if it starts to become a problem. Are you the next of kin?” He asked.
“Yes.”I told him again still anxious.
“Only one personcan see him right now, he won’t be responsive he’s heavily sedated and he has multiple tubes.” He said looking at me with big round eyes. He was a young, handsome doctor and not only that he was black too. “I’m just trying to prepare you.”
“Thank you. Thank you so much!”I clasped both of my hands together and the next thing I knew, I was in the doctor’s arms hugging and thanking him.
He embracedme back before pulling back. “I’m not sure of the details, but he’s lucky.”
“You have no idea Doc.”I back peddled away to the elevator pressing the button to go up. When I finally made it to his room, I was shocked, but I had to remain strong. My Meek looked swollen for some reason. He had tubes coming from his nose and mouth; there was even a small tube that looked like it ran from his chest that drained fluid.
“Aww Meek.”I whispered sitting next to his bedside listening to the sounds of the machines he was hooked up too. The tears ran down my eyes, but I refused to make a sound because I knew he wouldn’t want that. I had to be strong all of my life, so it was only right that I be strong for him as well.
I sat there thinkingabout Trent and the fun times we had. I wished I could’ve reached out to him sooner, so we could’ve talked everything out and now it was too late. Trent died on the scene; he was probably in here at the morgue somewhere or something. I didn’t know what they did with the bodies that died before the ambulance actually arrives on the scene but wherever he was, I prayed that his soul rested peacefully, and he found his twin brother in his afterlife. I knew in my heart that Trent’s beef wasn’t really with me, but since he thought my dad killed his brother and I was the only piece of my dad left; maybe he figured killing me would ease his pain.
I didn’t carehow long Meek was going to have to be here, I was staying with him. Mya would just have to use my house key and bring me back some clothes. I’d eat, sleep, shower, and shit right here and if Victoria came back with her bullshit on God himself I was going to beat the shit out of her old ass. Enough was enough, I was taking my fucking life back. I was from the hood and yes, I endured some shit that nobody should’ve had to experience but I refused to be punished for it, the rest of my life. Just because I was from the hood didn’t mean that I had to be treated as such.
I usedto love the hood and still did, however, I learned a very valuable lesson. The hood will sell crack to your mother, watch your little sisters all grown up and try to fuck them, kill your little brothers, send our men to jail, steal our dreams, steal our families, fuck up friendships and do the same to the next generation behind us. And what we fail to realize is no matter how much we love the hood, that bitch will never love us back!
CHAPTER 14
Don’t let them let me die Kish, hold on to me baby, hold on. I thought to myself looking into the bright light of the tunnel shining in front of my eyes. It was as if I was floating on air. The pain was slipping away and there was something so much bigger awaiting me. This shit was tempting, it was beautiful and like some shit I’d never seen before; I knew it was heaven. See, I was a young nigga and never stepped foot inside of a church, but I talked to God every night and prayed constantly. He and I both knew I wasn’t living my life right, but he knew my heart.
I wantedto go so badly; damn. I never in my life wanted to get through a tunnel as bad as I wanted to get through this one. It was something on that other side calling me. But Kisha, she wouldn’t let me slip away. I kept trying; the more I tried, the more she fought for me. “Meek! Meek! We’re almost there! Just hold on!” She cried. I felt her gripping my hand, but I couldn’t grip back. I couldn’t find the energy to do it no matter how bad I would have liked to. I would’ve loved to hold and kiss my baby one more time, if I didn’t take that bullet for her, she would bethe one laying here en-route to the hospital fighting for her life and I wasn’t sure I could deal with that, I rather it’d been me.
I took a breath so deep;it felt like my last, as I got closer to the light.Oh Shit! This is it! This is it! I love you Kish, but it’s my time baby.I felt myself drifting away. I held both of my arms out prepared to gain my wings as my soul slipped away. For the first time in my life, there were no worries, no pain, no struggling, or looking over my shoulders. I was excited, real excited but when the light went dim and I could no longer see shit I knew something was wrong. I was being pulled back into reality.Nooo! What the fuck!The pain was back; this was some shit I’d never felt before. If they just let me sleep then maybe I would be okay. I felt something stinging me in the arm, next I felt myself drifting away and it felt good; damn good as I went off into a deep sleep and dream.
“Kisha?”I said knocking on her room window, my little eleven year old bones were tired, and both my eyes were black. “Let me in Kish.” I whispered hoping that her mama didn’t hear me. She was a big old mean lady.
Her small bodyshowed up at the window and removed the curtain. “What’s wrong Meek?” She asked in her sweet tiny voice. Even then, Kisha was beautiful to me. She moved to the side to let me in and then ran to her room door and locked it before anybody came in. I climbed through and fell to the floor removing my black Reebok Classics.
“Meek.”She rushed to my side. “What’s wrong with you? Who hit you in the face?” She clasped both of her light skin hands over her mouth looking in horror.
“My mama boyfriend did it.”I said. All I really wanted to do was rest. I was young and weak, but rest would fix me in no time. That’s what my grandma always told me before she died.
“But why? That’s wrong Meek.”She said still sitting there frozen not knowing what to do. This was the first time that I’d ever knocked on her window and hoped that she let me in. I didn’t have anywhere else to go.
“Because that’s justhow it is. I talked back to him and then I refused to scrub his boots as punishment.” I laid on her bed holding my body.
“And your mama let him?”She asked in disbelief.
“That’s justhow it is, she don’t love me, Kisha.”
“I know the feeling Meek.”She said climbing in bed with me. “My mama is out there on some bad drugs. She’s been sleep since this morning. I had to eat chips for dinner.”
I satup and pulled my shirt off my body exposing my bruised skin before lying back down. I was in pain but even at that age I knew Kisha’s struggle as well. I immediately stopped worrying about myself and worried about what she said about not being able to eat dinner.
“You needice or something on your face and your back.” She said standing up to slip her little tights on under her shirt. She then threw on a light windbreaker and some slippers.
