Page 2 of Meek: Chasing That Gangsta Love
He hungup when he saw me coming. “What happened to your face?” He asked already knowing the answer. It wasn’t a secret in the hood that my mama treated me like shit.
I spokewithout looking at him. “Is that offer still up?” I asked ashamed.
He lookedaround making sure nobody was walking up on us and told me to get in the passenger seat of his car. I rushed over and sat down fidgeting with my fingers. “So, what happened?” He asked again.
“I don’t wantto talk about it Rags, let’s just get this over with.” I said.
He reachedin his pocket and pulled out five hundred dollars passing it over to me. “Here’s a little extra to keep for yourself.”
I reluctantly snatchedthe money and put it inside of the front pocket of my pants.
Rags heldhis head back on the headrest and closed his eyes with one hand on the top of my head, as I got busy. My stomach did flips listening to him give me orders and being forced to smell his god-awful stench down there. I didn’t see how other bitches did it; especially his girl, more power to her ass because I couldn’t see myself doing this every day. The only good thing about him was it only took him five minutes tops to get his nut, and I was happy when it was over. I opened the door and spit his seeds out of my mouth.
I hadtears in my eyes when I looked back up. Rags was zipping his pants back up and staring at me. “Damn Kisha, I promise you give the best fucking head I ever had.” He spread a satisfied look across his face.
I feltmy stomach growl again and held it with one hand. “Close the door.” He ordered. “Let me take you to get a burger or something.”
I wantedto decline so I could hurry and get away from him, but I really needed to eat so after he took me to McDonald’s, I ordered two double cheeseburgers and a small fry. I promise that shit was gobbled down and meeting the bottom of my stomach in less than five minutes. By the time he drove me to the front of my building, I was finished. “You know I’ll help you anytime you need me Kish…. don’t be scared to ask.”
I lookedat him and wanted to throw up. “If you wanted to help me you wouldn’t expect shit in return to do so.”
“I hear you,but remember this, ain’t shit in life ever free. I don’t give a fuck what it is, even happy muthafuckas didn’t get that happiness for free, everything has a cost. Don’t ever do shit for free in life. Work for everything you need.”
I heard what he said,and I’d make a mental note of that. “Thanks.” I mumbled and walked to my front door sticking the key in the lock turning it slowly.
My mama was laidout with her feet kicked up on the worn-down couch. “Where the fuck is my money?” She asked with evil eyes.
I didn’t knowhow a woman could treat a child as bad as she treated me, but I dug three hundred dollars that I put aside for her out of my pocket and passed it to her. It was all 20’s so she had to count it and when she was satisfied, she stuffed it inside of her bra and let me walk away from her in peace. I took a deep breath thankful that she didn’t ask for more, now I had two hundred to my name that I hid in the crack of my mattress.
I grabbeda pair of fresh panties that I’d thrown on the back of the chair to air dry. I picked up my towel and went to brush my teeth and take a shower. My mama didn’t like for me to take all of the hot water, so I had to do it quick. After being with Rags, I felt dirty as hell. I took the panties off that I was wearing and hand washed them with soap and water. I squeezed them out with my hands and draped them over the towel bar. When I walked back in my room, I made sure I closed the door and locked it. It was sad that my mama didn’t even care about where I got that money.
For all she knew,I could’ve gone out there and robbed somebody. While a lot of people around me loved Big Angie, she was still ‘mama’ in my eyes; and those handful of people didn’t know the real her. After I put on a fresh pair of panties wearing the same bra, I got back on my mattress and prayed like hell that the bed bugs would be nice to me tonight and spare my yellow skin that they loved to feast on. I rolled over thinking about the good old days when my daddy was still around, that’s when she was the nicest; but she fucked that up. I would never forget it; I was five years old when she got caught sucking Mr. Willie’s dick in the living room. She didn’t expect my daddy to come home early, but he did and that was the day he left us both.
I hearda light tap on my window an hour later since I was still up trying not to get eaten up in the middle of the night. I knew it was Meek before I even moved the sheet that covered the window. Meek’s mama wasn’t a crack head, and she didn’t really have a bad habit; she just loved men more than she did her own son. Sometime when he would come home at night, if she had company, she’d tell him to sleep outside. Even though he was eighteen, he still didn’t have his shit together yet to move out, so he was in a fucked-up situation just like me. For the last 8 years we’d been really good friends. While everyone would judge me and pick at me, he was nice to me and vice versa.
“Shhh.”I put one finger over my mouth with the sheets clinging to my body, I didn’t want him to wake my mama up. “What happened Meek? She wouldn’t let you in again?” I asked.
“Fuck that bitch.”He mumbled and crawled through the window. “Where’s the extra sheet?” He asked.
I passed it to him,and left the sheet on the window pulled back, and open so we could get a breeze before lying back down. “She’s still your mom.” I said.
“Yeah well,fuck her cause she doesn’t act like it, Kish.” He pulled off his shoes and laid on the opposite side of my small mattress down at the bottom. “What was Rags saying to you?” He asked. “I was so busy caught up in the crap game trying to win some money, that I couldn’t focus, I meant to stop you.”
I closedmy eyes trying to get the visions of Rags dick out of my head. “Um, nothing, he just walked me halfway to my building.” I lied. “But I saw Dreka tonight and she tried to clown me in front of her friends.”
“I’ll talkto her about that.” He said. “Go to sleep ma, we only have a few hours before Big Angie gon’ be at your door.”
“I hear you,but please don’t forget to talk to her Meek; cause I would hate to have to go toe to toe with Dreka. I’m not the most fortunate girl, but you know I’m not a sucker.”
“She’s doesthat shit because you’re pretty, all pretty girls taunt other pretty girls when they’re intimidated by something.” He responded turning over on his back with his feet a little too close to my face.
I turnedmy body the opposite way instead of asking him to move. “Pretty?” I asked. “I’m hardly nobody to be jealous of, look at me.” I sighed.
He satup looking at me, even though I wasn’t looking at him, I could feel him looking at me. “Yeah, I said it, pretty so accept it. What the fuck makes you feel like you’re not pretty Kish? Cause you don’t have all the shit they have? Look at your pretty ass skin, look at your perfect body Kish; do you know bitches have to pay for the ass you were naturally born with? Look at your eyes; do you know bitches are getting eye surgeries and contacts to have those ice blue eyes like yours? What about your hair? Let’s talk about that, look how thick it is Kish; you wear it brushed up in a ball on top of your head, but I’m sure if you let it hang down it would be to the middle of your back. So yes, you’re pretty naturally and it’s a lot of bitches that would pay for what you have. Remember that shit ma.” He said laying back down. “Let’s go to sleep.” He said again.
I heardeverything that he said and although I may not have looked at it like that, he said all of that, yet, he still didn’t want me, never even made a pass at me. The same bitches that he’d just talked about, were the same bitches he chose to talk too. I finally fell asleep and was up again when the sun had just broken through. Meek was standing there staring at me while scratching the shit out of his arm.
“Yo,we gotta find a way to get you another mattress ma, this shit is ridiculous.” He whispered.
