Page 19 of Meek: Chasing That Gangsta Love
I thought back to what nigga he was talking about and the only person I could think of was ‘Meek’ I had to lie to keep him from going over edge. “That was my cousin, you could’ve asked me this last night Kidd. That’s the reason you left last night?”
“Reschedule your appointment. I won’t be back tonight.” He said hanging up.
I called right back. “This is an important visit Kidd. I don’t get it, this is your child as well and you should care about the well-being.”
“I care about my child, and I care about you, but I don’t trust you. You’re way too pretty and if you think I believe you turning every nigga down you better think again.” He hung up again.
I was convinced Kidd was truly crazy. I was stuck in the house for the next two days with no money and no car to get around which was more of a reason I had to find a way to leave him and get out there on my own. This was cool in the beginning when he was nice to me, but now, he was someone different.
I moped around and was forced to drink milk and eat Ritz crackers since that’s all we had and needed to go grocery shopping. On the second night, I lay there sleeping and was awakened by Kidd walking in the room making all kind of noise to purposely wake me up. He flicked the bright light on and walked toward me with white residue on the tip of his nose. Someone that was so fine on the outside was so jealous on the inside.
He put his keys on the dresser and took his jacket off. His pupils were fully dilated and scared the shit out of me. “Where have you been Kidd?” I asked.
Instead of answering me, he forced himself on top of me planting sloppy kisses all over my mouth and face. I tried to push him off I was so mad at him, who the fuck did he think he was? “Move Kidd! You’re hurting me,” I whined.
He ignored me and used both of his hands to pin my arms above my head and forced his lower body in between my legs while grunting. “Give me this pussy Kish! Give it to me baby.” He used one hand to whip his hard dick out and since I didn’t have on any panties, it wasn’t hard for him to plunge it into my dry pussy walls.
“Ouuchhhhh!” I yelled in agony using my free hand pushing and punching his body. “Get off of me Kidd!” I cried. I felt a sharppain in my stomach as he rammed harder and harder. He was like an animal making sounds that scared the shit out of me.
“Ahhhhh fuckkk!” He yelled. “Yeah baby! Yeah baby! Here it comes!” He vibrated on top of me shooting his semen inside of my walls.
“I hate you! I hate you!” I cried. “Get the fuck off of me!” I accidentally slapped him.
He looked like a killer when he looked down at me. He put one hand around my neck and slung me across the floor. The only thing I could try to do was protect my body, however, when I looked down in between my legs, I was bleeding.
“The baby Kidd!” I cried.
He stood up looking like he was sober all of a sudden; the look in his eyes was hurt and sympathy. With his dick still hanging out, he rushed to my side and grabbed my face with tears in his eyes. “Kish! I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean this shit.” He said with tears in his eyes. I doubled over in pain, barely able to move it hurt so badly.
“I’mma get you some help baby girl. I’mma get you some help right now.” He said sticking his dick back in his pants and buckling up. He picked me up like he was cradling a newborn baby and rushed me out to the car. We arrived at the hospital with him apologizing the entire way. I was in so much pain that I didn’t have time to listen to him at all. The doctors at the hospital did all they could but it was too late; I was sent home to have a natural miscarriage since it was happening anyway. There was nothing they could do. I was released and two days later a blood clot passed while I was on the toilet. The pain was finally over.
Kidd stayed around the entire time being extra nice to me. He even cried when the clot passed. “My baby.” He sniffed. “I’m so sorry Kisha, I’m sorry baby.”
I sat on the edge of the bed feeling myself slipping into a deep depression. “It’s the drugs Kidd.” I sniffed. “You’ve gotta stop.”
He kneeled down and placed his head on my stomach. “I’mma get help baby, I promise. I swear I am.”
I wanted to believe him, I really did. That night I went to sleep after taking my antibiotics and painkillers only to wake up a few hours later to a room full of flowers, bears, and ‘I’m Sorry’ balloons. Kidd sat on the edge of the bed staring at me. I sat up and adjusted my eyes to look at him.
“I’m sorry baby.” He apologized again. “I mean it from the bottom of my heart.”
I put my head back on the pillow and cried. “Okay Kidd.” That was my only reply, I had nothing more to say.
I slipped into a deep depression over the next couple of weeks. I didn’t eat, I barely talked to Kidd no matter how nice he tried to be, and I detached from the outside world. One day while Kidd was gone, I found a stash of coke and tried it. I dug my pinkie into it and used my fingernail to sniff it into my nose. I never thought I’d be doing this, but I needed something to cope with the pain. The first time was like something I’d never felt before. The high it took me on made me forget about all of my worries.
The second time was even better and then I found myself craving for it while still managing to hide it from Kidd since he was barely around. He couldn’t even cope with what he’d done, that’s why he didn’t want to be around me as much. I was home aloneagain sitting on the living room couch watching ‘Power’ with the white substance in front of me. This time I rolled up a dollar bill for easier access to my high.
I bent down and sniffed hard once, then waited a few seconds to sniff more. The higher I was, the more I wanted it and before I knew it, I was running around the house barking like a dog and flapping my arms like a chicken. I was paranoid and feeling like somebody was after me with a burst of energy. After about 30 minutes I wore myself out, I was slumped over and floating. I saw visions of my mama’s face. I was becoming the exact same person that I hated so much.
CHAPTER 7
Tonight was the night. Reesie and I were dressed to work and were headed to the lower side. Our final mission was the nigga ‘Kidd’. Tonight was the night I was about to put down on that nigga to. All it took was for me to give a very reliable source a few hundred dollars and they told me everything I needed to know, where he lived and where he kept everything.The money and the product; how dumb could he be to keep all of that shit in his house?I thought to myself. The coke must’ve really been getting to his head. We pulled up to a decent neighborhood that was filled with mostly white folks.
“You want me to go?”Reesie asked.
I lookedat her and smiled at how thorough she was and always down to have my back. “You always ask me that and I tell you the same thing all the time.”
“I told you,I’ll die for you Meek. That’s how much I love you.” She said sincerely.
