Page 35 of Changeling
When Nathan stepped out of room #11 to head for the next one, he saw Jim waiting for him in the hallway. Then he realized Jim had just come from#12. Twelve years ago...
Nathan felt his chest tighten painfully. "Jim...?"
Jim's face was pale and blank. He looked over at Nathan with damp eyes, and gestured weakly at the room behind him. "You need to...go in there. You have to see it."
I already have, pretty damn recently, Nathan thought, thinking of the first dream he had had after his mark, reliving the night when Gabriel killed their mother. "Jim..."
"You have to see it, Nathan. You have to listen to what he says. Really listen. We weren't listening that night..." Jim trailed off, looking so haunted and distraught, Nathan had the urge to just grip him tight like he had with Sasha earlier.
He didn't want to go into that room at all, but he knew he had to. So Nathan nodded, knowing Jim would stay there outside the door, watching, and stepped into the room. He clenched his fists tight as the scene began to unfold if only to keep his hands from shaking. It started at the moment when Gabriel was first pounding on the door and their mother pushed them into the closet.
Their mother.
Seeing her in his dreams, or in a picture, wasn't the same as being close enough to touch her. It stung more than Nathan had been prepared for. She was so beautiful—long black hair and dark blue eyes like Jim. Nathan was the only one in the family whose eyes were green. And she was so strong, not crying, not a single waver in her voice as she pressed their father's wedding ring into Nathan's hand and closed the closet door.
It was strange seeing the scene play out this way, from outside the closet. He could see the whole thing, for the first time, when Gabriel burst in and overpowered their mother so quickly, pushing her down onto the table.
"Where is he, Miriam, just tell me," Gabriel said, looking younger than they had last seen him, but just as ruthless and cold. "Why are you protecting him? You have Nathan. Isn't that enough? You managed one child that isn't an abomination, eventhough you went against the rules our family has held sacred for—"
"I don't care about rules, Gabriel, I won't give up my children," their mother said plainly, still without even an ounce of fear. "Not any more than I was willing to give up Owen. We're a family. You don't even know what that means."
Suddenly Nathan understood why Jim had been so distraught. Not because he had to relive this scene, not only because of that, but because the truth had been revealed that night, the truth that Gabriel was part of their family, they just hadn't been listening close enough to understand.
Nathan looked toward the closet when Gabriel stabbed the knife into their mother, waiting for the moment when he and Jim would escape. As soon as he saw it, watching their younger selves running as fast as they could out the door, he turned to leave, and the scene began to fade even before he had stepped out into the hallway again.
Nathan didn't know what to say, but an entirely different revelation began to show on Jim's face as he looked at Nathan and read his expression.
"You already knew," Jim said. "You knew he was family. How long have you known?"
"He told me that night when he almost killed Sasha. He was Mom's brother. Our uncle."
Jim gaped at him. "And that's it? You were never going to say anything?"
"I didn't see how it could make anything better," Nathan said with more than a touch of defensiveness. "I was just trying—"
"It doesn't matter. You lied to me. Youlied."
"Jim..."
"Let's...just keep moving." Jim turned away from him. "Give me a couple minutes to get through the next room."
"Jim."
But Jim wouldn't look at him and he didn't respond. He moved down the hallway and stepped into the next room.
It wasn't difficult to simply stand there and wait, because Nathan didn't feel like he could move. He felt numb. Deep down he had always known Jim would find out the truth eventually, but not like this. And not this soon.
"Nathan?"
Walter's voice was comforting, grounding. Nathan turned and saw his Spirit Guide standing beside him as if he had been there all along, which was more than likely true.
"Would you care for some company?"
Walter's limitations and cryptic responses could really get on his nerves sometimes, but the simple act of being there had made up for all of that a thousand times over on more than one occasion. "That would be awesome," Nathan said, and managed at least half a smile. Walter couldn't trigger the rooms, after all, since he wasn't really there.
There was nothing all that sad about the rest of the rooms, and yet Nathan felt a bit tortured by the sweet, domestic scenes he saw. Him. Jim. Their parents. All of them, living happy, normal lives, despite a few treks to the Gatehouse. It helped to have Walter there, especially since those were the years when Nathan didn't yet know Walter existed.
When Nathan reached room #20, the last of the rooms downstairs, he was relieved to almost be finished with the first floor. He stepped over the threshold and the white room changed like all the others, this time into a bedroom. It was early morning, and still a little dark. Nathan could barely see, but he knew it was his parents sleeping there.
