Page 29 of Changeling
Jim’s dark blue eyes turned patronizing. “Me? Oh no. I don’t know what it’s like to live with someone like that at all,” he said a little too sarcastically.
“Bite me, Jesse James,” Nathan grumbled.
“Make me,” Jim snarked back.
Guns formed out of their hands without either of them having to think about it.
BANG.
“Go to sleep, Jim,” Nathan said as he took the extra key Jim handed him and headed for the door. “If something comes up, I’ll let you know.”
Chapter 12
AsNathanmadehisway down the hallway to Sasha’s room, he decided he was not going to bother knocking when he got there. He would just go in and stay there until they talked it all out. The problem was, when it came right down to it, Nathan didn’t really know Sasha all that well. And he kind of hated that.
Room 109 wasn’t far so Nathan didn’t have much time to think about what he was going to say. "Give me some breathing room on this one, Walter," he whispered as he approached Sasha's door, thankful that his Spirit Guide hadn't reappeared yet since their return to the motel. The hallway remained empty and silent, and Nathan nodded his gratitude.
Bolstered as much as he was going to get, he took a deep breath and tried to be quiet with the plastic cardkey, before slowly opening the door. Maybe if Sasha was in the bathroom or something, Nathan could get himself settled and think over what he was going to say.
But Sasha wasn’t in the bathroom. Nathan could hear the faint strums of his dad’s guitar, a little shakier than usual, but definitely by leave of Sasha’s long fingers. They’d given Sasha the guitar for his birthday—right before the incubus nearly died.
Then came Sasha’s voice, also shaky, uneven and broken up, filling Nathan’s ears as he slipped inside the room. Sasha was turned away, facing the wall. He didn’t see Nathan enter.
Nathan didn’t know the song Sasha was playing, but it wasn't a happy one. He managed to close the door behind him without alerting Sasha to his presence and, for a while, he just stood there, listening to the somber tones of Sasha’s voice.
Sasha choked on a round of the chorus and his fingers faltered on the strings. Nathan froze, afraid to breathe and draw Sasha’s attention. But Sasha was up in his own head. He wouldn’t have known Nathan was there even if he had been looking right at him.
“What am I doing…?” Sasha said to himself, a hand coming up to wipe at his eyes that Nathan knew had to be leaking tears.
Silence raged then, filling the room with a choked quiet. Sasha just sat there staring forward, the guitar resting on the floor while its neck was still gripped tight in Sasha’s left hand. Nathan could see how Sasha was shaking.
The tension started to build like an electric current, static and pulsing throughout the room. Nathan moved forward before he had the chance to second guess himself. Just as he reached the bed, Sasha rose to his feet, his left hand lifting the guitar so that his right could grab further down the neck, raise the whole thing high above his head, and swing.
Sasha would have smashed the guitar into splinters on the floor if Nathan hadn’t stepped in and grabbed the redhead’s hands along the neck. The guitar came to a sharp stop mid-swing between them.
“Nathan…” Sasha said in an almost frightened whisper.
“The guitar you had before this one didn’t get smashed on ahunt,” Nathan said, realizing the truth even as he spoke, “did it?”
The tears in Sasha’s eyes streamed down his already wet cheeks. He shook his head. He was shaking so hard now that he couldn’t keep the guitar up anymore. Neither could Nathan with his shoulder still sore. It fell limp to the side right out of their hands. Nathan tried to guide it as best as he could, and at least managed to save it from falling too hard, though it still thumped onto the carpet.
He wasn’t prepared for how Sasha fell limp right along with it, pitching forward into him so that the weight of the incubus brought Nathan down too, causing them both to sink and land hard on their knees. Sasha was sobbing, pawing and clutching at Nathan’s T-shirt as he buried his face in Nathan’s neck. All Nathan could do was hold him, arms wrapped tight around Sasha’s larger body to keep them both steady.
“I can’t…” Sasha wept, gripping Nathan’s T-shirt so tight in his fingers that it almost tore. “I can’t do this again. I can’t.”
“Hey, slow down,” Nathan said, sliding one of his hands up into those soft red locks to hold Sasha against him. “What are you talking about? Can’t do what again?”
A few more sobs broke free before Sasha replied. “This. Lose everything. Mom and Dad…I didn’t even know them. But it still hurt. Every day. And it was so much worse later…when it was friends leaving out of choice. They were my whole life. I…I didn’t w-want…anyone else to be that, but I did want it, too, because I missed it so much. And then…then there was you and Jim, and I…I just wanted it to be real. I wanted this to be real.”
“This is real. I’m real. You feel that?” Nathan said, pulling Sasha even more firmly into his chest. “That’s real. Do I look intangible? Like a god damn ghost? Do I look like I’m going anywhere?”
Another sob replied.
Damn it.Nathan realized how foolish his last words had been. He was marked, which was the same as a death sentence. He could put all the faith he wanted in Jim and Sasha to save him, but there was no guarantee. The only guarantee Nathan could give was that he would never leave out of choice.
“Okay…not my best argument,” Nathan admitted, squeezing Sasha a little tighter, “but you knew about my mark coming into this mess. If anyone can save me, it's you, so says the universe, if I'm to believe Wade. She's never been wrong before. But if we’re gonna beat this then we gotta hold it together. I’m sorry you had to deal with that asshole Lindsey, but I don’t think those ex-friends of yours are as out of reach as you think. You know what Charis said to me before heading off? She wanted to make sure I was keeping an eye on you. Kissed my cheek, even. She misses you."
Sasha clung to Nathan a moment more before pulling away. His tears were drying, but he had the strangest glow about him after crying, his eyes sparkling even more unnaturally blue than usual. "I always thought...they'd forgive me someday, that they'd understand. But after what happened with Sabine..." He shook his head. "You really think Charis misses me?"
