Page 81 of Sidhe
“Oh I’m sure I will,” Nathan said, closing the gap between them again.
“I feel bad,” Sasha said suddenly, holding back, his smile faltering. “I shouldn’t be this happy when everyone else is…pretty much pissed. Makes me feel like a selfish jackass for wanting this so bad and not giving a shit about the consequences.”
“We deserve this,” Nathan said. “Maybe I was too hard on Walter. No, I know I was. I get why he was angry. And I get why Jim is too. But they’ll get over it. They can be as pissy as they want, but when we stop the apocalypse, both of us as an incubus,together, we’ll be telling them ‘I told you so’s’ and everything will be fine. Jim was wrong about one thing,” he said as he began to will himself human again if only to hold Sasha’s face with gentler hands, “this isn’t just for me. I want this foryou. I want you to be happy, to be able to give you all of me without anything standing in our way.”
Sasha wrapped his arms around Nathan, slipped his fingers inside the T-shirt slits again where the wings had wrecked it. They kissed, slow, brand new almost in how the experiencewas different but still familiar. The feel of Sasha’s tongue on Nathan’s, of those lips tight and moving, their chests closely met and pulses racing so strongly that they could both feel each other’s heartbeats, it was all Nathan ever needed to know that he was right.
“Nate…” Sasha said, breath hot on Nathan’s mouth, “is it okay if…if even after you’re trained and ready to turn me…if I stay human a few more days? You’ll learn really fast, in a day or two, and I just want a little more time to know what this is like. Is that okay?” He sounded hesitant and unsure of himself asking that.
Nathan swelled with love for Sasha because of it. He smiled, nuzzling his cheek against Sasha’s and keeping them close. “Course it’s fine. Long as you want, baby. Might be fun to try out some things while we’re still switched, huh? Long as I know we’re getting our happily ever after out of this, nothing can spoil it.”
“Yeah…” Sasha gasped out gratefully.
Nathan couldn’t help thinking, like he had so many times already, that they deserved this, but when his eyes met Wally’s blue-grey ones over Sasha’s shoulder, still sitting on the countertop, her expression was more human than he had ever seen it.
And she didn’t look like she believed him for a second.
Chapter 29
Later,whenNathanwascalled back to the bar, he found the twins cooing all over Jim and Alex.
“You know, I think the term saucy minx was invented just for the likes of you two,” Nathan said, grinning wide as he approached them.
The atmosphere had completely changed in the bar with the twins’ arrival, though maybe that was because Jim and Alex hadn’t yet caught their breaths from the blonde whirlwind that had swept through.
Epica’s eyes fell on Nathan first, but Attoinette squealed, “Oh mygod,” and threw her arms around him. “Nathan! You’re gorgeous!”
Epica sauntered up less violently, hip cocked when she stopped to get a better look, her eyes appraising Nathan slowly. “Shit,” she said, eyebrows raised, “can’t disagree that you make one fine incubus, Nathan.”
“We thought there’d be all this, I don’t know,” Attoinette started rattling off, still with her arms around Nathan’s neck though she had stopped squeezing the life out of him, “like maybe there’d be some sign over your head blinking ‘not quite right’ or something, under the circumstances.”
“Not being normally initiated, she means,” Epica supplied.
“Butyou.” Attoinette shook her head in amazement as she looked at him. “It’s crazy! If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were born an incubus.”
Nathan refrained from commenting that several people had told him that long before he ever met a sex demon in real life. “Wait ‘til you see Sasha,” he smirked.
“Where is he?” Attoinette asked, finally releasing Nathan and glancing wildly about the bar like maybe she just hadn’t spotted him yet.
“Upstairs, working on getting some contacts here to help us out,” Nathan said with a shrug, like the apocalypsewasn’ta dire situation. “Come on, I’ll take you up.”
He let Attoinette take his arm, and gingerly put his hand on Epica’s lower back to guide her. He felt a little like his old self again—a girl on either side of him. But as they headed off, he picked up on the dull thrum of dissent from Jim and Alex. Nathan knew the twins could sense the emotions as easily as he could, because both of them faltered.
“Everything else okay?” Epica asked. “I mean, I know things are serious. Sasha gave us the rundown when he called. But we’re not throwing in the towel just yet, I hope.”
They had just reached the stairs. Nathan paused as the twins paused, looked back and, naturally, his eyes landed on Jim. “You know, why don’t you lovely ladies go up without me? Have a couple minutes of alone time. Sasha’s right up the stairs, end of the hall, last door on the right. He’ll be thrilled to see you.”
Epica nodded with a tight smile, Attoinette nodding as well and grinning as she grabbed her sister’s arm in lieu of Nathan’s, and they headed up the stairs.
Nathan met eyes with Jim again before heading out a different door, one that led to the med room where the hallway was small and mostly separate from the other parts of downstairs. Without having to look behind him, Nathan knew his brother would follow.
He thought of going into the med room completely, but chose instead to lean back against the wall of the hallway, watching as Jim came toward him. “Shit, Jim, I almost think you wanna take a shot at me,” Nathan said, smiling sideways. He tapped his jaw. “Go ahead. With your strength, it’ll still hurt as much as always. Hit me for being an idiot. For being a selfish sonuvabitch. That’s what you think of me, right?”
Jim scowled. “Nathan, this isn’t something where we can beat the shit out of each other and come out better for it at the end. This is your decision to make. I know that. But I have every right to think it’s a piss-poor idea to risk the fate of the world on you finally being the right species for your libido.”
Nathan flinched at the terse, angry words. He pushed from the wall. “Do you honestly think for one second I would make this decision if Walter said that me being an incubus wouldfor certainmean losing the war? This is a might, Jim. A maybe. I’m not bowing out.”
“But you’re not stepping up either,” Jim countered, the few feet between them suddenly feeling much too short a distance. “We can solve the problem of Sasha’s deal another way and still make sure you’re who the light side needs you to be. You can’t just cozy up to Sasha and embrace this like there aren’t going to be consequences. This isn’t like you.”
