Page 58 of Sidhe
Nathan might not have picked up on the sarcasm if he didn’t know better. “Smartass,” he called after Solrin. He didn’t get a grin in reply, just a glance, a swift look that told him he had broken through at least one barrier.
One was a start.
Chapter 21
Huntingwellintothenight, neither side came up with anything substantial—no sign of the incubus or the nachzehrer. There were still many places nearby, many neighboring towns just as small as Rushville that might harbor one or both of them, but they all agreed—even Solrin—that if they didn’t get some rest then they would be of no use hunting anything when it mattered.
They returned to the Gatehouse with a plan of attack decided for the next day. Nathan and Solrin would remain behind in the morning to prepare weapons and supplies while Jim and Sasha continued the search. So far it seemed that Solrin was completely unaware that the others were working half of the case against him.
After their basic plan was set, Nathan was more than ready to hit the hay and call it a night, especially since they would be up ungodly early again. Unfortunately, it seemed that Sasha had other plans. And not the type of ‘other plans’ that Nathan was usually very willing to entertain.
The incubus sat on the end of the bed in just his boxers. Nathan was already under the covers ready to sleep. He might have let himself doze off without even listening to what Sasha started to say if it wasn’t for how suddenly sullen the redhead’s voice sounded.
“So, I…couldn’t help noticing that Solrin seems a lot more comfortable around you,” he said, almost pulling off an uncaring tone, only so very muchnot. “Lately, I mean. And in general.”
“Pleasetell me you’re not about to unleash some jealous lover speech on me right now. I am so not in the mood.” Nathan half buried his face in his pillow. “Besides, it’s not a physical thing. I don’t know why Solrin trusts me, but he is definitely not into me like that.”
The weight on the bed shifted as Sasha turned and began climbing slowly toward Nathan on top of the covers. “I know. I’m an incubus, remember? I can tell he’s not like Leven or Iain with a not-so-secret hard-on for you,” he said jokingly, even though Nathan could hear that there wasn’t the usual smile in Sasha’s voice. “This isn’t a jealousy speech. It’s an ‘I’m scaredshitlessspeech’ and please tell me you know what you’re doing with this guy.”
Nathan sat up to look at Sasha, easily picking up on the tension in the incubus’ body and the way his eyes wavered with an undercurrent of fear. “Hey, I’m doing my best trying to keep Solrin from thinking there’s an incubus, okay? Foryou. Because you believe you can talk some sense into this kid before he goes psycho again and feeds his pet zombie.” Nathan held up both hands placatingly when Sasha scowled at that. “And maybe you can, I’m not saying you can’t. But you gotta understand why I need to get Solrin on our side. There’s a good guy in there somewhere, baby, he’s just a little wrecked. I know we can get him to see our side of things. We have to.”He had to.
“You can’t save everyone,” Sasha muttered, his head turned away from Nathan.
But Nathan couldn’t think like that, even if Solrin spooked Jim and Sasha, and yeah, even though he spooked Nathan a little too. Besides, Sasha had to know the irony of what he was saying since he wanted to save that incubus. Nathan’s plight to save Solrin just seemed so much more immediate. If Nathan couldn’t save the slightly cracked seal then it wasn’t about not being able to save everyone; he might not be able to saveanyone.
And that was not acceptable.
“I’ll be careful,” Nathan said, scooting closer to Sasha and hooking the back of his neck to get those blue eyes on him again. He smirked. “You’re such a damn hypocrite. I know this is personal for you with this incubus kid out there. I get that. But understand it’s personal for me too because of Solrinright here. Misguided and lonely, I get. Set up for failure at Malak’s hands, Ireallyget. We’re not gonna lose either of ‘em. I promise.”
A flicker of a smile flitted onto Sasha’s face and he relaxed into Nathan’s touch. “Guess I just…wanted to hear you say that. You’re about the only person in the world, you know, who could pull shit like this off.”
A chuckle rose in Nathan’s throat, but the events of the day dried it up before it could release. “So…are there any other things you haven’t told me about being an incubus?” Nathan tried to smile wistfully, not wanting Sasha to feel pressured, but he couldn’t deny his curiosity.
Sasha laughed shakily and squeezed Nathan’s forearm. “I’m sure there’s plenty.”
He scooted closer, leaned closer,wasso much closer that Nathan had to tighten the fingers curled around Sasha’s neck to steady himself.
“The girl I killed,” Sasha whispered with difficulty, staring piercingly back at Nathan, “what drew me to her, why I wantedmy first time to be with her…was her eyes. They were this perfect hazel green, ya see,” his mouth twitched, “jade and gold like something magical out of a storybook, and I just…couldn’t stop looking in them. I could have drowned right there the first time she looked back at me. Maybe it was because she was the first, I don’t know, but even after what I had done to her, I knew I could never be happy with anyone but someone who could make me feel the way she did. How it all started…with just those eyes…” He touched Nathan’s face right beneath his left eye that was so like the ones he had just described.
Nathan’s breath hitched as Sasha moved his other hand, the one on Nathan’s arm, slowly up to his shoulder, lightly over his neck and to his face on the other side. Nathan knew Sasha had just told him something that he had never shared with anyone else. It didn’t make him jealous of that girl to know what she had meant to Sasha.
“I was terrified by how much I wanted you,” Sasha whispered, holding Nathan’s face. “I know that if I ever hurt you like that, Nathan, like I hurt her, I…couldn’t survive it. You’re everything I ever wanted, even before I knew what that was. I don’t want that poor kid out there to miss out on that. But more than him, Nate, more than anything outside of you and me, I want to believe that nothing could ever take this away, takeyouaway, whether small or big, Apocalypse or simple case…” He choked on tears that he refused to let fall. “But if something ever does, I want you to know now that no one could ever be what you are to me.”
All the things Nathan wanted out of life could be summed up in how Sasha made him feel just by kissing him. Each simple kiss encompassed every bit of peace and love and a sense of belonging,matteringthat Nathan always seemed to be seeking yet so seldom found. Sasha’s fingers tight on Nathan’s jawline, the incubus’ palms pressing on Nathan’s cheeks; it was so warm, so grounding.
Nathan pressed further forward, electrified from the heat and wetness in Sasha’s mouth as a shock jolted down his body—kissing, just kissing.
When he pulled away, he felt sort of silly that all he could say in reply to the beautiful words Sasha had said to him was, “Ditto,” all breathy and soft with a lopsided smile on his face.
It seemed more than enough though since the incubus laughed—genuinely at last.
“Just got one amendment, baby,” Nathan whispered hot on Sasha’s lips, wanting another kiss because Sasha was so warm, and so close, and it just made Nathan want to pull the redhead all the way into him, “you can leave out the part aboutanythingtaking this, or me, away. I’m gonna save everyone I can, Solrin if I can, that incubus too. But you and Jim always come first. Always. You got me?”
Sasha pressed his forehead to Nathan’s. “I got you.”
Nathanshuffleddownthestairs the next morning feeling drained. Literally to some extent since he and Sasha’s heartfelt conversation had inevitably turned into deep, shuddery love making. Sasha was still recovering from the other night. Of course three nights in a row with an incubus had Nathan feeling sluggish. He needed a really big breakfast to get his strength back.
Solrin was already downstairs waiting for him, whittling wooden stakes to use against the nach. He was wearing a navy button-down and another pair of cargos. Nathan figured the baggier wardrobe had to be because of all the bandages underneath. He really wanted to figure out what those were for.
