Page 32 of Sidhe
A shiver ran up Nathan’s spine. He hadn’t seen anything that would have made him think of Walter when Malak came for him, but he had seen something, a spark, a shock of light,something, when Malak hit that immoveable wall and was knocked back, the fight and power gone from him.
“That was…you?”
“Of course,” Walter said, as though it were merely his duty.
And Nathan supposed it was.
“That I could have done more…” Walter said, trailing sadly, his eyes drooping slightly as he let his arm drop. “If I could have, please know, Nathan, that I would have done anything. Yours was always going to be a heavy burden, but you have the strength to choose a greater destiny than any man before you. And it is my privilege to be at your side.”
Nathan jerked forward again, not sure what he wanted at first. Then he released Walter’s arm and pulled the man in for a tight hug, something he’d never been able to do before, even when he was just a scared little boy who would have asked for nothing more.
Nathan wasn’t any sort of Messiah, that wasn’t what this was about, he knew that, and yet everything he was being told lately made him sound so much better than he was. Oberon had it right—Nathan was just a guy, just a man, one who’d had a crazy life, that’s true, but he was still justNathan. That’s all he wanted to be.
“Forgive me again,” Walter said when Nathan released him from the embrace. “I speak out of turn. Time is not on our side. There is much we must prepare for.”
“Right.” Nathan cleared his throat and took a step back to get his bearings. His eyes felt unfairly damp, and he was starting to feel the chill in the air as well. “Let’s get inside. You got news for us?”
They turned to head into the Gatehouse as Walter spoke. “Be assured, Nathan, Malak is ready for war. He will be recruiting since he has yet to acquire you.”
“Naturally,” Nathan grimaced.
“Some men and women who have ties to the supernatural will be more easily swayed to Malak’s side. You must remain here at the Gatehouse for now and be ever vigilant,” Walter said. “A powerful changeling with abilities we do not yet know the extent of will be passing through here and he may be easily tempted to the dark.”
Nathan had to snort, much as that worried him. “Okay,Yoda,” he grinned as they entered the warmth of the bar area and he closed the door behind them. He took a moment to appreciate that Walter was standing there—inside the Gatehouse. “How will we know him?”
“Jim will know,” Walter said, staring ever-intently like he could look right through Nathan—deeper.
“Nate?”
Nathan started, turning toward the bar entrance out to the main staircase where both Sasha and Jim stood, staring at them.Staring at Walter. If ever Nathan had wondered if Walter was real—and he had wondered that many times—the confirmation of their eyes on him, of how he had felt in Nathan arms, was more than enough to prove that Walter was really there with him now.
“Guys,” he said with a wide smile, giving Walter’s back a firm smack that nearly sent themanstumbling. “This is Walter.”
Chapter 12
GettingWaltersetupinhis own room, with some extra clothes, and a midnight snack could not have been more surreal for Nathan. He imagined Sasha and Jim felt the same way. Being able to see and talk with Walter, and for Sasha and Jim to do the same, made the Spirit Guide seem so human and normal.
Nathan had so many questions, but it was late, all thoughts of a zombie movie forgotten now, and they didn’t want to wake Alex and Iain. There would be time in the morning to meet and greet with Walter and find out more.
He had explained that he was, “More than human,” but hadn’t elaborated further on what that meant, other than to say he had some abilities that would come in handy beyond just having extensive knowledge that could aid them.
All Nathan wanted now was to sleep. Well, he wanted something else too, but he wasn't sure he could ask. He had ruined things so thoroughly before he left.
Sasha shucked his jeans and started getting ready for bed, but Nathan had already snuck up behind where Sasha was changing, his legs moving of their own accord, body totally ignoring any signals from his brain as he spun the incubus around. Sasha's tongue felt so good against his.
Nathan felt guilty seconds after the kiss began and pulled from Sasha's lips with a gasp. The hand that had grabbed for Sasha's face slid along fingertips until they fell from Sasha's cheek. "Sorry. I just missed you, and so much has already happened since we got back, and I just…I…sorry."
As Nathan turned back around and went for the bathroom, flashes of the last time he and Sasha had been alone in their bedroom ran through his mind in full, awful Technicolor.
"Nathan?" Sasha's voice was close behind him.
Nathan's chest ached and he tried to keep walking away, tried to avoid how much it hurt to remember what he had done.
But Sasha's voice sounded so broken, "Nathan,please," as lost and as hurt as Nathan felt, only Sasha's pain wasNathan's fault.
Stopping just before the door to the bathroom, Nathan reached out and clutched the doorframe to steady himself, his knees weak, almost shaking. He looked back over his shoulder and saw all the anguish on Sasha's face like a blow to his chest.
"I kinda wanna…hold you all night," Nathan said hoarsely. "Maybe I wanna do more. But I don't want you thinking it's for the same reasons as the other night. I want you foryou. I need you. I've missed you so damn much. Because the Veil was Hell without you, baby. The Veil was Hellwithyou," Nathan tried to smile off that twisted truth, "but believe me…herewithout you is worse."
