Page 19 of Sidhe
Thefirstbrushoflips was filled with static, shocking Nathan back to the last time he had kissed Sasha, a day ago on the dance floor downstairs. They never went so long between kisses when things were normal.
Nathan pressed forward, deeper, and sought out that tongue that knew him so well, that knew his mouth and his skin better than he knew himself. Sasha did taste wonderful, and it almost felt right kissing him—almost.
“Nathan…” Sasha’s voice shook, his eyes still damp as he looked at him. But Nathan didn’t want to talk. Talking wasn’t helping. Drinking was only helping a little. Action would have to do. Action would help him feel again.
“Show me,” he repeated, kissing Sasha once more, both hands holding the incubus’ face so Sasha couldn’t pull away. He kissed fiercely. The darkness behind his eyes that beckoned images of a different Sasha was not going to win this time. Nathan foughtback by kissing harder, his hands sliding down Sasha’s face to his shoulders so he could push the redhead back onto the bed.
His intentions were clear and it made Sasha gasp and twist his head away. “Nathan…we shouldn’t. You’re drunk and frustrated and your emotions are all over the place. I…I wouldn’t feel right…”
“What?” Nathan scoffed. “Taking advantage of me? You can’t take advantage of me if I’m taking advantage of you.” He tried to grin, tried to make it curve in a way that would resemble how he used to be so Sasha would listen.
No further dissention rose so Nathan took the silence for permission. He tugged on Sasha’s shirt until he had it pulled over the incubus’ head and let it fall. There was his scar from Gabriel, clear as ever. And a peek of incubus markings at Sasha’s waistline. It was all familiar. But Sasha being wanton and willing beneath him, that was new—something he hadn’t known in so long.
Leaning down low, Nathan let his weight hold Sasha to the bed, their legs both hanging off the side since they were on it sideways. Nathan tried tender this time with his kiss but tender stirred voices in the back of his head—Sasha calling him ‘weak’ and other demeaning things whenever Nathan talked of love. So Nathan threw tender aside, prodding insistently with his tongue for that wonderful warmth and wetness.
He felt Sasha’s hands go for the hem of his shirt, but the feeling of warm skin touching him low on his waist made him flinch. He yanked his shirt free himself, returning for another fierce kiss that he moved down Sasha’s neck, latching on hotly. Sasha gasped, probably feeling the sting of teeth.
“Nathan…” Sasha breathed, back arching as Nathan moved further down his neck, biting and sucking hard, his hands smoothing roughly down Sasha’s sides. “God, Nate…I missed you so much.” He grasped Nathan’s head and pulled him upfor another hungry kiss that Nathan heightened with a nip at Sasha’s lips. Within his grasp, tight and demanding, Nathan felt Sasha shiver.
There was something so satisfying about that, causing a growl to build in Nathan’s throat as he pulled away and roughly started shifting Sasha further up the bed. The bed was still made but they didn’t need covers. Nathan considered stealing one last pull from the bottle of Jack, but thought better of it.
Sasha was mewling nonsensical words of apology and devotion as Nathan pinned him down and claimed patches of skin with sharp kisses. Nathan didn’t want to hear any of it. He kissed Sasha’s mouth again just to silence the incubus and reached down between their bodies for the clasp of Sasha’s jeans. They were tossed aside easily, Nathan’s too, leaving only thin cotton that teased their erections when they pressed together through the thin barrier.
Nathan was still getting revved up, his own erection only halfway there. It was difficult to get hard when the attentions he had been given in the Veil were always unwanted. Now that he was seeking it himself, free from that horror, he had to will his body to believe it really wanted this as much as he did. He needed the moments of blank nothingness that orgasm and the sweet sticky crescendo up to it could give him.
“Nathan…slow down, you’re shaking,” he heard vaguely and breathless from Sasha.
Nathanwasshaking, overly anxious, desperate for this. He paused to take a breath and still his tremors. Sasha looked so gloriously flush beneath him.
“Yeah…s-sorry, just…just…fuck. Need you so bad…” Need this. Needthis. It didn’t really matter if it was Sasha. That should have set off alarm bells for Nathan but he wasn’t paying attention, focused only on what he wanted and how to get it.
Grinding down against Sasha through their matching cotton, Nathan finally felt the blood pumping hot the way it should be. He was burning up and still a little shaky when he fell upon Sasha again with a claiming kiss, his nails raking down Sasha’s smooth thighs, grasping somewhere below Sasha’s knee to hoist a leg up. He hadn’t even pulled down Sasha’s shorts yet.
“You always feel so good, Nathan…even when you fight me.”
Nathan’s eyes snapped open and he nearly bit down on Sasha’s tongue. Sasha hadn’t said that. It was just in Nathan’s head, just his traitorous imagination. He banished those thoughts by kissing harder, gripping Sasha tighter. He pulled away and raked his hands up Sasha’s thighs beneath his boxers clear to his waistline and down again, making the incubus tremble visibly.
No one had claim over Nathan. He was in control. He had the power. He seized Sasha through his shorts tightly and gave a firm tug. Sasha cried out from the unexpected harshness and Nathan felt the sick twist of satisfaction grow in his gut.
A few more pulls, firm and unyielding, and Sasha was whimpering, his head tossed back. Nathan needed this now, needed the release, the blinding oblivion. He pulled Sasha’s shorts down his hips and pushed his legs up and apart. Nathan slid forward, his hands feverish over Sasha’s skin. He had barely pressed digits to Sasha’s entrance before he was angling to sheathe himself.
“Nathan,” Sasha said in a startled voice, shifting away from him, “I said,slow down. You’re going too fast. You’re not thinking.” Sasha’s voice still came in ragged pants but his eyes were no longer clouded.
Nathan’s annoyance fueled quickly into frustration. “Just going at it a little rough,” he defended, “thought you liked that.” He just wanted to get Sasha back in position, back in the moment, but the incubus’ legs were pulled together and his hips were turned to the side.
Sasha’s narrowed eyes softened with something like sadness. “I thought I wanted this too. Thought…I don’t know what,” he shook his head, “but this isn’t right, Nathan. I can feel your emotions as easily as I ever could, and they aren’t what they should be. You’re not thinking of me, you’re not in the moment because you love me. You’re using me to prove something to yourself, and…I can’t be that. I should be more than that to you. I should be more than convenient.”
That should have been a blow to Nathan’s pride, a knock to his senses, but Sasha’s unwillingness and albeit accurate assessment of the situation only made frustration turn to anger. Nathan pulled up onto his knees.
“Convenient?” he repeated with a sneer. “Yeah…you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you? Making that deal to save my ass sure wasconvenient.”
Sasha looked up at him in shock. “What are you talking about? I did what I had to so I could bring you back. So we could be together even if it’s—”
“Even if it’s only for a short time, right?” Nathan broke in, glaring at Sasha now as the incubus pulled away from him and sat up, shimmying back into his shorts. “You get to save me and free your guilty conscience without any of the burden. Making that deal…you made sure that even though you knew I’d come back broken, at least you wouldn’t have to deal with me for long.”
Sorrow vanished in favor of offense as Nathan’s words struck Sasha hard.
“Now, when you leave me, you won’t even have to feel guilty,” Nathan said venomously, “coz hey, yousavedme. That’s gotta count for something.”
