Page 117 of Sidhe
“Don’t touch me!” Sasha yelled and jerked his head away when Nathan turned to him, crouching and reaching out to take Sasha’s face in his hand. “Don’t you dare…do to me what you did to Jim.” Sasha knew he was close to crying now, close to losing it completely, his knees stinging from striking the step. “How could you do that? You do these awful things, passing them off asnecessary, and expect as to understand just because no one’s actually hurt? Choice is all we have, and you took that away from Jim without even blinking. You’re not Nathan! You’re just a god damn monster.”
Fire flashed in the eyes looking down at him, all the wrath of the dark sidhe king about to rain down on Sasha, he was sure of it, almost welcomed it if it meant this would end. But thenthe fire was gone, and Nathan crouched down on the steps, his expression soft; even his eyes that were still red on black remained oddly gentle.
“Baby,” he said, an utterance Sasha was starting to hate from all the timesthisNathan said it, “don’t say that. Please. Not you. I didn’t take choice away from Jim. I just opened him up,wokehim up to what he’s really capable of. He’s still making his own decisions. It’s just easier for him to understand now. That’s all I want for you too.”
Sasha flinched when Nathan brushed the hair from his face, sure that Nathan meant at any moment to claim him too,changehim. “D-Don’t…” Sasha trembled, hunched on the step, refusing to move.
“I won’t do anything to you,” Nathan said, “only if you ask me to.”
A huff left Sasha’s lips. “I’d never ask you to do that to me.”
“No? Maybe I can change your mind,” Nathan said, pulling Sasha’s arm to his chest where he placed Sasha’s palm flat against his heart. “Let me prove I’m me. Let me show you…”
For a moment their proximity had Sasha lost. He wanted to give in, and maybe he would have if it weren’tthoseeyeslooking back at him.
“Don’t touch me,” Sasha said as he jerked away from Nathan and fell back, stumbling down the last couple steps to the main floor. The mild pain in his hip helped him focus, helped him remember that this wasn’t Nathan, it couldn’t be.
Sighing deeply, Nathan stood, walked slowly down those two steps, and held out a hand for Sasha. “Just let me take you to bed. Things will look different after you’ve gotten some sleep. I’ll even sleep on the god damn floor if you want me to, just…please.”
That tender tone, that willingness to compromise and sacrifice, was almost enough to sway Sasha again, but the otherswere counting on him now. He accepted Nathan’s help but immediately pulled his hand back after Nathan hoisted him to his feet.
Rather than argue, Nathan gestured up the stairs. It was a clever trick, being accommodating. Sasha couldn’t allow himself to fall for it. He walked up the stairs ahead of Nathan, not once looking back, and continued straight to their room.
Theirroom. The mere thought made Sasha cringe.
Before he could reach for the knob, realizing finally just how tired he really was, he heard light chuckling from Nathan.
Sasha jerked his head back accusingly. “What?”
“You’re really that afraid of me,” Nathan said with a small smile that Sasha thought looked disappointed more than mocking, those awful eyes looking so strange with sadness lingering in them. “I can understand why. But I don’t know what else I can do to prove you all wrong. You just have to trust me.”
Sasha sneered as he turned and pushed his way into the room rather than get pulled into the sympathy Nathan was trying to wrangle from him.
“Sasha…” Nathan came in behind him.
“Gofuckyourself,” Sasha snarled, and headed for the bathroom.
He wasn’t surprised when a strong hand gripped his shoulder, though the sudden spinning of the room as Nathan turned him and slammed him into the wall was a bit of shock, or maybe that was just the wind being knocked from his lungs.
“Why do you have to keep fighting me?Why?” Nathan growled hot into his face. “Do you have any idea what it’s been like for me, seeing you, being near you all day and not daring totouchyou because I knew you’d pull away?”
The desperation in those words made Sasha pause again. Flashes of the past year sped through his mind, of the beginning when he was the one wading through unrequited love, waitingand hoping that Nathan might one day feel the same andlethim touch him.
“Yes…” he hissed in answer.
Those red on black eyes were so close; Sasha turned his head away so he wouldn’t have to look at them. Nathan huffed like he couldn’t believe Sasha was bothered by something so trivial. When he pulled Sasha’s face back toward him, his eyes wore the mask of green.
“I know you know what it’s like. So try to understand. Please. Let me show you. Just for one moment,” Nathan said with the hint of a smirk filling up Sasha’s vision as his hold became gentler. “One kiss to feed the addiction you’ve become for me.”
God. That was low. So low that Sasha didn’t think he could deny Nathan’s request this time. He remembered well the day they had sparred, and argued, and somehow through it all found their way to slow, which was so much better than nothing. Sasha had said those very words to Nathan that day, and Nathan had kissed him.Nathanhad kissedhimfor the first time.
“Please, baby…” Nathan whispered with such pleading, his green eyes damp, his body pressed in close and tight.
Sasha closed his eyes, licked his lips; every part of him was hot pressed up against the wall. “Okay,” he said, partly because he didn’t know how to keep saying ‘no’ to Nathan, and partly because he had to know.
What would this Nathan feel like? It frightened Sasha that he hadn’t been able tofeelNathan the same way after Malak joined with him, only faintly, like an echo, unless they were touching, and even then. Their connection was masked by Malak. Nathan’s emotions were too. But if they kissed…
Sasha opened his eyes. It was easier to imagine kissing a Nathan with green eyes, easier to relax within his hold. The harshness of Nathan’s grip slackened, his smile widening as he nodded and slowly leaned in to give that offered kiss.
