Page 103 of Sidhe
“Nathan, you can’t,” Jim said again, squeezing Nathan’s arm tightly. “I’ve had to sit by while too many of these deals went down. You brought me back. Sasha brought you back. We can’t keep doing this. I know how much you love him, Nathan, I love him too, but—” Jim cut off abruptly, so abruptly that Nathan turned to look at him. Jim was seemingly fine, but while his mouth still moved, no sound came out.
“He really doesn’t know when to shut up, does he?” Malak said with a bored tone. “Quiet now, James, the adults are talking. Now, Nathan, we were about to—”
“You do not need to do this, Nathan.” It was Walter now, firm despite the fear Nathan could still hear in his Spirit Guide’s voice. Nathan had felt camaraderie over that fear before, but now he didn’t know what he was feeling.
Malak glared up at Walter and then slowly stood. “I may not be able to silenceyou, but do continue and I will certainly be up for trying to,” he warned, his red on black eyes flashing. “This is between me and Nathan.” Then Malak stood squarely before Nathan, looking down at him like some magnanimous answer to his prayers.
Nathan felt like he was done with prayers for today. Maybe forever. The one thing he wanted out of this war, he could no longer have.
He felt how Jim still held his arm tight, squeezing it to communicate some further warning and pleading even though he couldn’t speak; felt Walter’s eyes watching him, patient but panicked; felt Malak’s eyes too, waiting, believing he knew the answer Nathan would give, the answer Malak had set Nathan up to give, because there was no other answer in him.
No one spoke, the bar gone quiet again, and Nathan was thankful for it, because he didn’t want to hear anymore. He shifted Sasha in his arms, Jim’s hand falling away, and looked into that pale, dead face, those dull blue eyes devoid of any spark. There was blood all over Nathan, something he was too used to in his life. He still felt numb, he was still crying, he could feel Sasha stiff and cold in his arms.
“You can’t bring him back for me, Walt, even if you wanted to, you couldn’t just snap your fingers and he’d wake up like nothing happened. You said so yourself.” Nathan glanced up briefly, saw the anguish on Walter’s face. He looked back to Sasha, “Make me human, Puck, you bastard, wherever you are,” and closed Sasha’s eyes with trembling fingers, “I have a job to do.”
“Nathan—” Malak tried.
“You heard what I said.” Nathan looked up at Malak lifelessly, all his life having left him when Sasha did. “Get the fuck away from me. I’m not gonna let you win. He’d never forgive me if I let you win.”
As swiftly as he had appeared, Malak vanished in an angry swirl of smoke, like the trail of a cigarette.
Nathan felt Jim’s hand on his arm again.
Walter walked closer and crouched down where Malak had been before. “I am grateful for your choice, Nathan.”
“Don’t be grateful, Walt,” Nathan choked out.
“But I am,” the Spirit Guide insisted.
“Rules, Nathan,” came another voice—Puck’s voice. “I could make you human, but now, because of your willing sacrifice…I can do so much more.”
Before Nathan could look up, he felt the pressure of two firm fingertips on his forehead. Nothing happened at first, but then Puck reached his other hand the same way to touch Sasha, and before Nathan could question why, he drifted into a deep, peaceful sleep.
Nathanhadpassedoutonly to wake up gritting his teeth. The last time that happened he’d gotten to wake up feeling pretty good, having just become an incubus. Right now wasn’t nearly as nice. He was human again and had an ache in his chest like he had been shot pointblank.
That was the cruel humor of it, because Nathanhadbeen shot, and even though the wound had healed, his once again human body had the pleasure of feeling the ache anyway.
Then his mind caught up to his body, reminding him that the worst of what had happened was not getting shot, but where the bullet had gone after it passed through him.
Nathan didn’t want to wake up, didn’t want to open his eyes, even though he was conscious finally and had to. He didn’t want to live if Sasha was dead.
Finally, he squinted enough to start letting in some light, pleased it was dim in the room, whatever room he happened to be in, probably the bedroom, his andSasha’sbedroom, which was one of the last places he wanted to be.
He was turned onto his side, facing where there was a chair leaned back by the closet, only Nathan could see that the chair had been scooted closer to the bed, right next to it, and someone was sitting there.
Walter, sitting casually with his arms leaned forward to rest on his thighs, had the nerve to smile at him. “Hello, Nathan. I am glad to see you’re awake. It was not an easy transition, even though you gave yourself over willingly. You will feel better after some rest. Time is short as you know, but…” as if there was something beyond Nathan to focus on, Walter’s gaze drifted, “I don’t think it will hurt anything if you take a little time to be together.”
Nathan’s mind was still moving a little sluggishly, still half unconscious maybe, because he didn’t initially hear that last part. “Together…?” he repeated, so sore he didn’t really want to roll over but he had to.
He bumped into a solid form beside him.
“Sasha…?”
Beautiful and alive,Sashawas lying next to him, leaned back against the headboard. His eyes were vibrant and shimmering. And his hair, it wasred, red the way Nathan had first loved it. Sasha was glowing like he was infused with light and life, looking positively glorious in a T-shirt and jeans.
“Is this…real…?” Nathan asked of Walter softly, though he couldn’t look away, couldn’t risk even blinking for fear of Sasha not really being there.
“It is very real, Nathan,” Walter said amused from behind him.
