Page 7 of Sidhe
Nathan turned to Sasha as the incubus pulled away from him and writhed on the floor, in some unknowable pain, like he’d been that night when they first met Malak. Nathan froze under Jim’s sudden use of power when he tried to comfort the incubus, unable to move or even react as Sasha screamed.
“Do you understand yet, Nathan?” Jim spat through clenched teeth as he wrenched Nathan’s arm and forcefully pulled him to his feet, leaving Sasha on the carpet. “I’ll leave him be…this time,” he said, and Sasha’s pained cries slowly died away, “but others might not be so lucky.”
Nathan didn’t have the strength to match Jim’s. He didn’t have a weapon that would ever be enough. Even if he could get to one, Jim could just control him to put it down again. Sasha was equally helpless.
As the weight of what was happening struck Nathan fully, realizing all he might have done to prevent this if only Jim and Sasha hadn’t tried to savehim, Jim made a promise close against his ear, “Sashamight not be so lucky…if you refuse me again.”
Nathanwasshakingsohard, Sasha’s jacket had fallen from his hands and was draped over his lap. He was on the floor, head and shoulders back against the frame of the bed. The room spun and refocused in front of him. He wasn’t there anymore, he was here, he washere, but ‘there’ would always be with him.
He had to go downstairs, had to show everyone that he was fine, he was okay, he was back just the way he had left them. Even though all of that was a lie, he had to make them believe it. He tried to get up off the floor, but his hands had clutched again the smooth black leather of Sasha’s new jacket, so like his wings,Nathan thought, and he couldn’t loosen his grip enough to get a grip on himself.
He couldn’t have understood before. He understood now. He had been dead. Dead and gone in the Veil, a Shadow Immortal at Malak’s mercy. That’s why it was so hard.Living. Living was hard. And as much as he knew he had to get back up, had to keep going, he wasn’t sure he wanted to anymore.
Chapter 3
ThelayoutoftheGatehouse came back to Nathan easily even after the longest year of his life, and he found his way through the corridor to the main stairs, taking each step slowly as he moved his still stiff body down to the bar. Unconsciously, he clutched at his father’s wedding ring around his neck.
He could hear a chorus of voices as he reached the bottom of the stairs. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so nervous. To see them all again—Alex, Iain, even Shiarra—it all seemed so surreal. Nathan could remember vividly how each of them had died.
Pushing those thoughts aside as best he could, Nathan stepped into the bar. The many voices quickly stilled. It was always only for show that Nathan Grier liked the limelight. He preferred anonymity most of the time. Having everyone staring at him like he was some second coming was more than a little unnerving.
He thought of saying something witty to break the tension, maybe get the serious crew to crack smiles instead of wearingthose drawn and relieved faces. Like, “If you want a hug you better get in line coz nobody’s dog-piling me,” or something. Instead he managed barely a small shrug and a too quiet, “Hey,” that sounded nothing like him, and really, he had to get over this andsoonbecause the others should not be looking at him like he was too fragile to touch.
He needed to touch. He needed to know this world was real; the other one was the nightmare.
Jim and Sasha stood next to Iain not far from Nathan, and Alex and Shiarra sat on stools. Somehow Nathan found the strength to walk in amongst them. He accepted the hugs that were offered, the pats on his shoulder and arm, the nods and loving looks, even though every glance at one of them brought with it an image of their corpse—or what had been left of it when Nathan saw them in their last minutes. Alex was the hardest to touch for that reason. Her body…
He went rigid against her as they hugged, just what he hadn’t wanted to do. Maybe Jim and Sasha had already told them that he had been a dribbling, screaming wreck when he first got back, but if they hadn’t, then he didn’t want any extra reason for pity.
“Nate…?” Alex asked gently, her long dark hair pressing to the side of his face.
“Man…pretty stiff,” Nathan grabbed at an excuse as he pulled from her embrace. “Guess it sorta goes with being basically dead for a week, huh?” He grinned.
And bless Alex for holding back a smile and shaking her head at him instead of looking on with more sympathy. That was the annoyed but happy expression he was used to from his old friend. He wanted to be immersed in the group, surrounded. He wanted to remember what living his life was supposed to feel like.
When Shiarra embraced him, he couldn’t help asking, “Just you? What about the rest of the sex demons? Cam? The twins? Not that I expected to seeLindsey.”
“Sasha called them,” Shiarra said, “so they know that you are all right, but we assumed you wouldn’t want too many people around at first. I was nonnegotiable.”
“I’m sure they’ll want to see you eventually, Nathan,” Sasha added. “IncludingCharis and Lindsey. Well…” his eyes darkened slightly, “…I haven’t actually spoken to Lindsey, but I’ve talked to Charis. She’s been speaking with Cam and the twins, trying to convince Lindsey to give us a chance. You might actually see him someday soon.”
Nathan was pleased he didn’t have to see any of them just yet—their small group was enough for now—but he was also happy to hear that company was possible in the near future, if only for Sasha’s sake.
There was food and conversation, although Nathan was somewhat quiet like he had been the night before since he enjoyed hearing everyone else’s voices. He let those varied timbres carry his visions of a false reality away for a while as they ate at the bar tables. The food tasted even better than the pizza had the previous night, which had been incredible in Nathan’s book. He hadn’t at all lost his appetite, and he could tell how much that simple fact seemed to soothe the others.
Just as they were finished eating, there was a terrible sound like a half-strangled howl or cry from a wounded animal. They all turned startled to look where the noise was coming from, and there standing in the doorway to the bar was a large grey tabby cat with all its hair standing on end—Wally.
Alex had mentioned that the chimera was too comfortably situated on her favorite sofa cushion to be bothered, but that she would probably join them later. Nathan had also been prepared for the cat form as it was safer for her to stay that way whenseals so often came in and out of the Gatehouse. But the arched back and extended fur, the wild eyes, the strange noises growling out of her were nothing like he had ever seen from the creature before.
Nathan rose from his seat at the small barroom table and made toward the frightened cat-shaped chimera. “What’s up, girl? Don’t tell me there’s something to hunthereagain? Not that you count, of course,” he grinned, holding out a hand as he walked swiftly to her.
His approach only agitated her more, and the sudden hiss she threw at him had Nathan stopping in his tracks. Wally wasn’t terrified and on guard over some foreign object or creature to hunt; she was focused entirely on him—afraid ofhim.
“Hey…Wally,” Nathan tried again, voice soothing and hands held up as he took another small step forward.
She immediately started spitting at him like a cat on the attack, frozen in her spot in the doorway as if to ward him off. Did she not recognize him, he wondered at first. But he had never seen her react like that to someone before. Not even when she had been wary of Jim.
Then the awful truth struck Nathan: she knew what the others didn’t. She knew what he had become while he was gone, the terrible things he had done…
