Page 13 of Sidhe
Again, hands tried to grab for him, coming from behind, and Nathan swung an arm to knock them away, releasing Jim so he could turn and yell, “Leave me alone!”
Silence fell instantly. Nathan could see them all now, those whose hands had held him. Everyone was in the room—Sasha, Iain, Alex, Shiarra—and all of them were staring at him with horrified expressions.
Reality struck Nathan hard. Jim’s eyes were blue. The others were there. He was safe, it was over, he was home now, but when the visions of the past took him, he couldn’t remember that.
The looks everyone was giving him were strange, though. It wasn’t the right kind of fear.
Then Iain, whose eyes were widest said, “Your eyes…”
Nathan didn’t know what he was talking about, and maybe it was his honest uncertainty that kept any of them from acting. There was a mirror in the bar, large and covering most of onewall. It stood above the jukebox. Nathan was even facing it. All he had to do was look up.
He back-peddled, ramming hard into Jim behind him who was still against the bar. Strong arms came up to hold him. Nathan had to be seeing things. It couldn’t be real.
His eyes were black.
Chapter 5
TurningwildlyinJim’sarms to avoid the awful image of his own black eyes, Nathan came face to face with Jim’s white. Nathan’s terrible world over the past year might have only been an illusion, but Jim finding True Awakening was real.
“You knew…” Nathan realized with a sick shock to his stomach.
“It’s not what you think, Nathan,” Jim said.
The lights flickered around them.
“I’m still a Shadow Immortal!”
“You’re not. Not really.” Jim sounded too calm, as if he’d been ready for this. “You’re not a Shadow Immortal anymore. I’m Awakened now, I’d know if you were. The deal was that you’d return as you’d been when you left, but Malak told us it wouldn’t be that easy. You’d be human, but…only fully, only completely onceyoubelieve it. I didn’t know what he meant until now…”
No matter the fallout, no matter the consequences, Nathan needed to know the truth. He whirled around and advanced onSasha, who was by far the most startled with pain and confusion splashed across his face. Some of the others backed away, maybe on instinct because they didn’t understand what was happening, but Sasha stood still.
“What did you give up?” Nathan demanded. “What did you trade to bring me back like this?!”
Sasha’s mouth quivered, his eyes looking damp again like they hadn’t been dry in a week. “Nate…please…”
“Tell me what you gave him!”
The lights flickered again, threatening to go out.
Eyes downcast for a moment, Sasha finally looked up again, and when he held Nathan’s gaze, he didn’t waver. “That night, after Malak touched you, you were gone. I knew that. But I…I couldn’t accept it. Malak didn’t vanish right away, he was still standing there, and…and I rushed up to him, I begged, I pleaded with him that there had to be something he would take in exchange for giving you back. I said I’d give him anything. He liked the sound of that. So he said…he said he’d be willing to take you only for a week if I gave him one thing.”
At the back of his mind, Nathan came to realize what that one thing had to be even before Sasha said it.
“I can’t initiate you, Nathan. Ever. I can’t initiate anyone. I gave up the ability to keep someone else with me forever…so I could haveyouback for even one day longer.” Sasha’s gaze was melancholy but also full of so much love that it wounded Nathan to see those emotions so bare. “I’d do it again. It was worth it, Nathan. I don’t know why your eyes…” he stared into them but he couldn’t say it, “I don’t know. All I know is that you’re here. He said I could have you back, he didn’t…” Sasha trailed again.
The fight had drained from Nathan but he could still finish bitterly what Sasha hadn’t said. “He didn’t say what shape I’d be in. Course not. Why would you have made a deal for some soulless shell?”
Nathan turned away before Sasha could protest that. He looked back at Jim, whose eyes were still white.
“He wins. He still wins. It didn’t matter how long I was in the Veil, just that I was there long enough. Jim’s perfect little General,” Nathan laughed sullenly, arms spread wide to indicate himself. “He’s giving you your army, Jim, whether you want it or not. And I’m the one who made you put on the damn crown.”
“Nate…”
“What did he tell you to do, huh?” Nathan said, advancing on Jim once more. “You remember everything now, right? From your time in the Veil. You reached True Awakening; you have to remember. What did he tell you to do!?”
Jim stood motionless at first—resolute. Then he blinked and his eyes were deep blue with round pupils. “He doesn’t have control over me, Nathan. He taught me how to use my powers, told me to be ready for when the Veil falls, told me to do everything I could to save you from your bounty—how he knew then, before you’d even made that pact with the Messenger, I don’t know—and promised me that I would be able to give you everything we ever wanted out of life if I just did what he asked.
“But it doesn’t matter,” he said firmly, taking a step forward. “I would have done those things anyway. He can’t make us be or do anything. Giving up, giving in, that’s how he wins. All I did was embrace who I am instead of who he wanted me to be. What does it matter if some of those things cross? He doesn’t have power over your free will, Nate—”
