Page 11 of Sidhe
“That’s not true,” Jim shot back with anger coloring his words, his grip on Nathan’s shoulders growing tight, almost painful. He was behind Nathan, holding him in an awkward kind of hug. “It hasn’t even been a whole day. You were in the Veil withMalak. No one expects you to be perfect and fine in a day. It’ll just take time.”
Deep down Nathan knew that. With time it would have to get easier. All the clichés said so, after all. He didn’t know how to respond to Jim, he could only look at Sasha who was unaware of being watched. “What did he do to bring me back?” he asked, mostly to himself.
Jim didn’t answer, his presence still so close that it made the silence feel like a blow.
Nathan pushed from the wall, his trembling under control again, and shook Jim away from holding him. “That bad, huh? Awesome…”
WhenNathanjoinedthegroup again the others tried so hard to act like everything was fine and back to normal that it felt staged, fake. Nathan knew they were just trying to be stronger for his sake, so he allowed every forced smile, every awkward joke, and smiled in kind. He was pleased when they turned to talk of potential dark fae cases in the area. Sasha was still a seal, after all, and really, they were all part of the team now.
No one seemed to want to go anywhere quite yet so the talks were mostly about what they could do ‘after a few days’, something Nathan knew was a fluid term. A few days could mean a few weeks if they didn’t think he was ‘fit’ to leave.
Shiarra was giving him looks as if to say she wanted to get him alone. Nathan would avoid that for as long as possible. But after dinner when everyone started to disperse as if they had things they could be doing elsewhere, Nathan didn’t mind that he seemed to have been left rather obviously alone…with Sasha.
One on one was easier, and Sasha looked so beautifully whole and healthy and loving. Nathan still wanted to ask what the price had been for his resurrection, but when Sasha smiled warmly at him and walked to the jukebox, he couldn’t bear the thought of ruining the moment.
“Alex downloaded a bunch of Frank for me. Don’t laugh, but…my favorite version of this song,” Sasha said as “My Funny Valentine began to play,” “was from this movie—”
“Matt Damon inThe Talented Mr. Ripley,” Nathan broke in, smiling crookedly.
Sasha looked surprised. “I already told you that? I don’t remember.”
“Eh, you might have been a little tipsy at the time,” Nathan shrugged, moving across the floor to join Sasha, “but I remember. Said the same thing, too—don’t laugh. Like I cannotlaugh when a punk actor like Matt Damon’s your favorite version of this.” Nathan barked out something that might have been a laugh. Close enough to one to make Sasha’s smile widen.
“It’s a good version. All melancholy but hopeful,” Sasha said wistfully.
“Yeah,” Nathan huffed, hand on the jukebox right next to Sasha’s, “unrequited love.”
“I hate that kind,” the incubus breathed.
They were close now, so close. Nathan moved his hand a little so that his fingers bumped into Sasha’s skin. They leaned in at the same time, a clear path to each other’s lips. That was easy. Somehow that was still easy—touching lips, moving lips, slipping his tongue past Sasha’s teeth to get at that familiar taste. It was easy…and made his heart race just like he remembered.
As they kissed, soft presses of their lips and strokes of their tongues, Sasha pulled Nathan close against him and away from the jukebox, hips swaying gently to the music.
“A little early for a slow-dance,” Nathan teased, lips damp and still so close to Sasha’s as he spoke.
But instead of playing along, Sasha had to ruin the moment by asking almost tearfully, “Are you really okay, Nathan?” His hold was as tight as Jim’s had been, only this was face to face so it was harder for Nathan to keep his real response hidden.
“I’m okay right now.”
“Nate.”
“I’m adjusting. But this…this is good.” He slid his arms around Sasha’s waist and held firm. “This is okay. This is me being okay.” It was the truth even if it was fleeting.
Sasha smiled, melancholy like the song. “Okay.” And they danced, sort of, more like swayed and held onto each other as the music played and switched to another song in Frank’s smooth voice.
Nathan looked up at Sasha’s face. There was that blue, cobalt brilliance glittering at him. It was early evening, the sun coming in low and dark orange from every window to fill the bar with mood lighting, and they were alone. Nathan couldn’t even hear signs that the others were anywhere around. He knew they had left them alone on purpose, subtle really for them since it almost would have seemed natural if it hadn’t been all of them that mysteriously needed to be elsewhere. Maybe they thought Sashawould be the key to reminding Nathan that he was grounded, he was here, he was okay—and not just in words.
Leaning up further, Nathan kissed Sasha again just to feel it. Sasha. He was a large part of Nathan’s world, that’s why Jim had used him—whyMalakhad used him to make the torture worse. Nathan kissed Sasha deeper as soon as his mind began to wander. He didn’t want to think about that. He was home now.
Dancing like that, kissing Sasha, hands about each other’s waists, Nathan immediately thought of the last time they had slow-danced alone in the Gatehouse bar, one night when it was empty and quiet like now.
“We are so dead if Alex comes down here.”
“Want to stop?”
“Hell no.”
They hadn’t. They had writhed and stroked each other and fumbled their way over to the bar, leaving their sleep pants to settle on the floor. Nathan could almost see it like real-time played in front of his eyes as he kissed Sasha with newfound fervor, their swaying half-dance faltering as they gripped each other harder. Yes, he could see it—Sasha braced against the bar top, Nathan thrusting behind him, the music playing…
