Page 33 of Broken Clocks
Images of him and us bombarded me.
Him walking down the aisle with her.
Him disappearing for days, then showing up with banana pudding and excuses.
Him choking me.
His mama calling my skin, my hair, my being bad behind her thin pastel pink lips.
Me sitting on my bathroom floor, crying into a towel so my granny wouldn't hear.
It snapped in my head in that moment. What I had with Donte wasn't love. It was warfare. I was tired of fighting him, fighting for him, but never for myself.
I shoved him hard.
He stumbled back, shocked, lips parted like I'd just slapped him.
"Get out." My voice was low, dangerous.
"Eshe—"
"I said get the fuck out."
He didn't move. His brow furrowed, like his brain was buffering. Like my words were in a language he didn't speak.
Fine. He needed motivation.
I turned toward the kitchen drawer. The wood groaned as I yanked it open. The blade glinted under the fluorescent light.
I turned and leveled it at his chest.
"Out." I didn’t scream. My voice came out quiet, and mean. "On your own two feet. Or in a bag. Your choice."
His hands shot up, palms out. "You're fucking crazy," he breathed, hands up, voice lowering like I was some stray animal he was trying not to spook.
I stepped forward.
"Yes, I fucking am," I snapped. "You made me this way."
I took another step in his direction. I was already settled with the idea of spending the rest of my life in jail. It wasn't much different than what I'd been dealing with him.
"All the lies. The gaslighting. The promises. The 'wait for me' while you build a family with her. You twisted me into this."
He backed toward the door, staring me dead in the eyes, and I think he was finally seeing me—really seeing me.
It terrified him. I knew it was because a world where I didn't fold was scary to him.
Good.
As he slipped out, he muttered, "This ain't over." He slammed my door.
That pissed me off.
The knife clattered to the floor as I ran toward the door, yanking it open so hard the knob punched a hole in the wall.
He was backing out.
"DON'T COME BACK!" I roared into the night. "I'LL BURY YOU NEXT TO YOUR LIES, BITCH!"
