Page 71 of Seven Nights with the Wicked Duke
"Yes. That will be all."
"Very well, Your Grace."
The sound of the door closing softly seemed louder in his mind like a jailer slamming iron doors shut and soon he was left alone with his thoughts screaming at him for being so foolish.
And as always, he turned to his sideboard.
To the new bottle of whisky that would dull all the voices in his mind till he drifted off to slumber.
CHAPTER 24
When Cecilia had first sat down at her desk to curate her infamous scandalous list, she had only thought of it as a chance good time. A way for her to experience things that she had never been able to, because of the secluded life she was forced to live.
Somehow, with the naivety of an untried virgin, she had thought that she could manage to perform all the tasks on the list without her heart getting involved. Perhaps she might have successfully achieved that, if she had been involved with another man. She had not understood what she had signed up for when she had agreed to allow Theo lead her down the path of scandal.
No, that was not really true.
She hadsuspected.
Of course, she had.
He was Theo, the Duke of Emerton. One of the most charming rakes of theton. Perhaps, if he were just another rake, she might have had a fighting chance, but it was him.
Theo, who had been the first man she had felt attracted to as a woman. Perhaps, she might have forgotten over the years that he avoided her, but she had always been reminded of that dratted attraction. The way her body heated and shivered in his presence. The way his proximity aroused her without even trying.
She had convinced herself that it was a normal reaction to an attractive man. But even as she told herself that, it sounded hollow, her mind echoing with the wrongness of that statement. When he had offered to help her complete her list, she had seen it for the dangerous temptation that it was. But the wanton in her wanted him in a way that went beyond common sense, so she went even against her best ideas.
From the first moment he kissed her, she’d understood the reason why she needed him. She craved the way he was able to elicit electrifying pleasure from her with a simple touch. She craved the rapture that she felt in his arms, kissing him. She found herself longing for the next time she could spend in his arms.
Slowly it became an addiction, one that she felt no inclination to resist. How could she, when this was what she had wanted for so long?
Knowing Magnus and his mercurial temper, all hell was going to break loose when he found out about their illicit assignations. While she liked to assure herself that she was careful, she knew also that she was no professional at sneaking about and it was only a matter of time before her brother caught them.
Perhaps she did want him to catch them. Perhaps it was the threat of discovery that made their affair exciting and intensely addicting. Whatever fear she had about the possibility of ruination melted away in his arms. So much so that she found it difficult to leave when the sun rose, mourning the loss of his warmth and presence.
The saner part of her mind reminded her that their affairs or lessons, whatever it was, would end soon, and she would be thrust back into her boring life. Only now she would be saddled with a husband with no possibility of escape. Perhaps it was that sense of coming grief that made her seek him at night, even when it was beyond reckless to do so. But with every day she spent with Hector, it felt like the cage that she was living in was closing in slowly, so close to smothering her. She completely avoided talking about Hector whenever they met. It was almost as if they were ignoring the inevitable, because on paper, the viscount was a perfect husband for her, just not the one she wanted.
Reminding him of the temporary nature of their relationship would mean the possible end of the fiery passion they shared, and she wanted to hold on for as long as she could. Fate had other plans of course.
He found out.
He was livid.
She knew that was the moment she should have let him go, but he was so deep in her mind, it was physically painful to stay away for him. So she went to him, held on to him even when rebuffed her, consoled him, and allowed herself to fall back into passion that resided just beneath the surface whenever they were together. She allowed it even when she was aware that it bonded them even more, even though she was supposed to pulling away from him.
Her obsession with Theo had ruined her for other men, and frankly, she did not think it was fair to Hector to wed a woman who was madly in love with another man.
But perhaps Hector might not mind. He had never professed love to her. He had said a number of times that he admired her, maybe even cared for her. He had never said he loved her. That was not surprising, of course.
Most marriages of thetonwere built on mutual tolerance. Once, she had been resigned to settle for such a match. That was until Theo.
He might have never professed love for her, but she loved him. He would probably laugh in her face if she professed this love for him. That was the reason why she was going to keep it a secret.
Yes, her heart ached that he might never return her feelings, but they had passion. That was enough, she was going to make it enough. Her love alone would be enough for them both.
Her thoughts alone told her how lost she was. It was funny how she had no wish to be found. But while she might have been ready to settle for half a man, if he was Theo, the man in question wanted no part of her.
No, that was not true.
