Page 14 of Bookgasms
I hated every minute of it, but it kept me on my feet.
When I got out, I ended up working a lot of odd jobs—security, serving food, bartending. For two years, I worked at least three jobs at a time to be able to keep a roof over my head. It sucked, but I did what I had to do.
It kind of feels like that’s what most of my life was—doing what I had to do to survive. At least until I was introduced to camming.
I was working at a strip club at the time, and it was the last night for one of the girls. I overheard her telling some of the others how she makes more camming with less work than she did stripping. When I asked her about it, her eyes roved over me before she smirked. She told me I’d do well—even if men don’t do as well as women. A buff Latino man with sky-blue eyes fits the tall, dark, and handsome to a tee, and apparently, there was a need for that.
I wasn’t nearly as sure as she was, but I was exhausted and more than a little desperate. So I gave it a chance.
By that point, I had realized I was demisexual, and I wasn’t sure if that would help me or hurt me. I started out just jerking off for the camera, and I started pulling in some money. I was able to quit two of my jobs, and it was amazing. It took a few years for me to be able to make enough money to have camming be my full-time job.
My channel is still mostly solo content, but I’ve had a few people on my channel, and I’ve been on a few others’ channels.
Masturbating is easy for me.
Sex? Not so much. Not when I’m not sexually aroused by someone until I get to know them and like them. Which, of course, makes things harder because feelings in our industry can quickly lead to heartbreak. Something I learned quickly after being with a woman on her channel and falling in love with her. She’d laughed at me when I told her that before telling me she wouldn’t need me on her channel anymore.
It wasn’t a high point in my life.
But being a camboy has helped me discover a lot about myself, my sexuality, and my preferences.
It wasn’t until I met Victor and Jason, becoming friends with them, that I realized I was bisexual. I’ve never been with any other men but the two of them.
Hell, I’ve been sleeping with them on and off for years, falling harder and harder for them. Not that I’ve told them that.
I know they’re polyamorous, but they’ve never given any indication that they want anything more than an occasional third in the bedroom from me. Honestly, it breaks my heart, but I’d rather have them in some capacity than in none.
The same can be said about Dani and Maya—especially Maya. Dani is so open about her sexuality, and I’ve probably been in more videos with her than anyone else. It’s hard not to love her for how open she is about herself.
But Maya likes to hide who she really is from the people she sleeps with, except maybe with Dani.
Maya and I were friends long before we slept together, and she used to confide in me about everything. That changed the first time we slept together, and no matter how many times I’ve tried to repair our friendship, she’s having none of it.
So, yeah. My love life is more than a little complicated.
It might be less so if I were to tell any of them how I feel about them, but then I remember Natasha, and I just can’t do it.
No, it’s safer to keep things “friendly” with them, sleeping with them when I can. Imagining them in my head when I get myself off when I can’t.
Fuck, I’m pathetic.
Luckily, there’s a knock at my door that pulls me from my downward spiral. I grab the food from the delivery person and make myself a plate.
I have a few days to prepare myself for the scene I’m going to shoot with Dani and Victor. I’ll make sure I have my act together before then.
Chapter Six
Dani
Ipull into the Behind the Lens parking lot thirty minutes ahead of when I told Victor and Andrés to meet me here. I want to get the room set up so we can get started right away.
When I announced that the two of them were going to join me for the scene, my subscribers had been ecstatic—as had theirs.
I love that I get to work with people I’m attracted to and friends with—whether or not I’d like it to be more than friends is neither here nor there. I also love that we’re popular together.
Stepping out of the car, I make my way toward the warehouse—although, why we call it a warehouse, I’ll never understand. The thing looks more like a house to me.
With its covered porch, the bottom level looks like a log cabin, while the second floor has dark charcoal siding. It’s comfortableand feels more like coming home than going to work. That’s probably why I love working here so much.
