When our laughter fades, Isla studies me. “I haven’t seen you since you got fake married. You canceled our trash TV night, and you only ever did that in the early days after losing Max. It’s been two years, and you’ve made so much progress. He’d be proud. I’m just… I’m worried you’re withdrawing again. It’s early days with this fake marriage.”
“And?” I ask.
“And,” she says softly, “if the arrangement’s too much, you can back out, but now, not later. Is it too much? Ilya wouldn’t like it if you were hurting. So, is it?”
“It isn’t,” I assure her. “It’s just… a lot. And I needed a moment to breathe, to process everything, that’s all. I’m good, and Ilya is one of the best friends a girl could hope for… apart from you.”
“Glad I get a mention.” Isla pauses as she watches Maize. With her voice oh-so-casual and light, she speaks again. “How’s Isaak doing?”
My lips twitch, but I don’t let myself smile. Isaak is almost as hot as Ilya.
“I’m surprised,” Isla says in that same tone, “that I’ve never met him before.”
I burst out laughing. “That’s probably because he’s always working, but next time Ilya pins him down, you should come join us for a drink.”
She sniffs. “Maybe, if I have a sitter.”
“You know, maybe I should get a job.”
“You’ve got a trust fund. You can work my job, andI’lluse your trust fund,” Isla says, giggling.
“I’ve offered to help you and Maize out, hire you as my personal assistant.”
“Oh my god, girl, you know that’s bullshit. We’d just sit around on endless lunches.”
“Isn’t that a job?” I joke. “But maybe I should. Get a job, I mean. I know the trust fund means I’ve never needed one and don’t need one. It covers my now and my future, but doing something might be the distraction I need.”
Isla yells, “Get down from there right now, Maize.” Then when her child obeys and stops trying to climb the big-kid slide, she glances at me. “You don’t need the money, so instead of a paying job, why not something that helps others, like volunteering?”
“That’s a great idea. I’ll look into it.”
When we finish our coffees and Isla needs to take Maize home for a nap, I send them in my car, knowing the driver will take her shopping along the way for groceries on my dime.
Isla isn’t exactly hurting, but childcare’s expensive, and what her ex pays out goes all to Maize.
I decide to walk before I call for an Uber or call Ilya to get a car sent to me.
The weather’s nice, and the exercise clears my head and gets the blood flowing. There must be a lot of different volunteer jobs out there. So it’s a matter of finding something I’d like to do.
My walk takes me past a local dog shelter.
In a perfect world, my work would be with animals, I think.
Maybe it’s time to stop thinking and start doing. It’s like Max smiles down on me as I turn and push the door open tothe shelter, the smell of dogs and barking instantly greeting me. We talked about a pet…
“Can I help you?” the redhead behind the counter asks.
“Are you looking for volunteers?”
Her face lights up. “I’ll get the manager. Please wait…”
“Alina.”
She smiles and takes off.
I’ve always yearned for a dog, long before Max, but we could never have one, even in the huge mansion, because, according to Dad, he had allergies.
I personally think he just didn’t like pets, but I dreamed about having one anyway. A dog, a cat. Goldfish.