Page 36 of Scarlet Vows

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“Ilya’s a strong man. He does what he wants,” I say, laughing again.

And ignoring the things that Ilya said about Demyan.

But is Isla right?

Does Ilya like me more than a friend?

It would change everything if he did.

I’m not even sure in what way, apart from that it would. I don’t want to go there. I don’t want to examine that.

This needs to be uncomplicated, easy. Just two friends.

“It’s fine,” I say, nodding at the remote control. “Put the show back on.”

She does, but for the rest of the visit, my skin pricks and stomach turns, my anxiety won’t go away.

It’s late when Isla leaves, and I’m practically jumping out of my skin.

I’m also tipsy, borderline drunk, but I pick up my phone and text Ilya.

Me

R U up?

Ilya

Da, malyshka.

I bite back a nervous sound, even though he can’t hear me.

Me

This is just business, right? We’re helping each other out. Because I’m not ready for anything more.

The dots blink as he types, and I hold my breath.

Ilya

Just business. Are you drunk, malyshka? Absolutely business. I’m not looking for a thing with anyone. Sorry to disappoint.

Embarrassment threatens to swallow me whole. I can’t believe I let Isla convince me Ilya has feelings for me. Of course he doesn’t.

I send him a smiley face and then I set down the phone and put things away and then hurry up to bed, my face burning.

Not only am I embarrassed, but there’s something else.

Shock.

I’m shocked at how his response is affecting me.

I feel something I never thought I would.

Disappointment.

I’m disappointed he doesn’t like me more than a friend.

What the fuck is that?

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