“I guess I don’t want to cause tension between you and Demyan.”
“So we won’t do it.”
“That’s not an answer, either, Ilya.”
He grumbles something and breathes out a sigh. “Ah,malyshka, you can’t have it all the ways. As much as you get what you want, having it all the ways is impossible.”
I don’t get everything I want. If I did, Max would be here.
But he’s not. I don’t say that, though.
“I want to help. I hate that Demyan thinks he has control over me. I’m twenty-four?—”
“Just.”
“—not four.” I frown, take another sip as Ilya eats some more. “I hate it. I get to make my own decisions, and this is one of them. I just don’t want to cause problems between you and him. That’s all.”
“You won’t.”
I don’t quite believe him. We both know Demyan.
“You won’t,” he says again. “So don’t worry about that for now.”
“I’m doing this,” I say, not quite sure if I’m convincing him or myself.
And I do want to. It’s just…Max.
“So we’ll have time, and any issues your brother might have, I’ll deal with it.”
I nod. “So small wedding?”
“The smallest.”
“Do we need a witness?”
He shrugs. “My friend Isaak will do it. No need to ask.”
And I know Isla would, too.
Which starts making everything feel real again.
“Or we just get someone in town hall.” He smiles. “End of next week. I don’t think we should push it later than that.”
I nod once more. “End of this week is better.”
“Okay,” he says.
“We’ll need pictures for the lawyers. At least, I’d imagine so.” I bite my lip. “We’ll get your friend, and you know Isla? She’ll do it, then we can all have a small dinner.”
“A celebratory dinner?”
“We can’t just do the ceremony and head to our homes. Having proof that isn’t needed is better than not having it. So we do that. Don’t you think?”
“I do. I’ll book a nice, romantic place. Intimate.”
I nod again, my stomach lurching at the words “intimate” and “romantic.” But it sounds manageable. I can do this.
The nervousness flutters inside me. I should be calm, not more worked up. If Max were able to speak to me from beyond, he’d tell me to do it. He’d give his blessing. I know he liked Ilya. He used to tease me about him. But Max believed in helping others, especially those you were close to.