Page 88 of Scarlet Promise
Normally, I’m not so fierce. But maybe I’ve just had enough. Or it’s that and pregnancy hormones, but right now, I could fight a dragon and win.
“So,” I say, “we’re going to have a conversation, and you’re going to make time for it. Sit, Demyan. Now. Please.”
Demyan sits then looks at me. “Well?”
I nod and set my cup down. “I’m not here to talk about Ilya. I miss my brother. I miss Demyan. I don’t know who you are right now, but you’re not the man I’ve looked up to my entire life. You’ve always been my hero. Always. And I miss that. I miss you. I miss my Demyan.”
“Alina…”
The choke in his voice hurts.
“Can we sideline any Ilya issues you have?” I ask him. “Can we do that and work on fixing our relationship?”
“It’s him?—”
“No,” I say, “it isn’t. You seem to think I’m fifteen and need you to protect me against a boy. That’s you treating me a certain way, and I don’t know why, but it’s not him. It’s you and me, and we need to mend it.”
“I’m not sure I can do that, because to me, it is Ilya,” he says. “But I agree to try.”
I pick apart his words, what the deeper meaning is. Right now, he can’t see he’s strangling me by treating me this way, and it took me thinking last night about it all. About how he’s been to boyfriends, boys who flitted around, and even Max.
He put Max through his paces, but he didn’t treat me like I didn’t know my own mind, like I had no autonomy.
And that’s the difference.
Demyan knew Max was different, so he was maybe a little harder, but he saw how Max felt. How I felt. And he shifted to giving his blessing.
I know he knows Ilya’s different, too. And he knows how Ilya feels and how I feel for Ilya.
To be so unfairly hard on me for finding love after losing Max is cruel.
And I can’t…I can’t call him my brother like I used to if he keeps on this path.
“I never thought I’d find love again, find someone worthy like Max. Find happiness. But I did. And I thoughtyou’dbe happy. You’re not, so what does that say about you?”
He doesn’t answer.
“Nothing good, Demyan,” I whisper.
He clears his throat. “I said I’d try.”
He shrugs like that’s all he can he do.
I lean in. “Try hard, Demyan,” I warn. “Because if this fails, if you fail, I’m not sure what else to do but walk out the door and never see you again.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“I don’t know what to do. I deserve to be happy. Like you. I deserve happiness, too.”
I stand, leaving my tea, and head to the door. Then I stop, my hand on the doorjamb. “I’ll be spending tomorrow night with Ilya at his place.”
He frowns. “Is that a good idea?” I must look apoplectic because he adds, “I’m thinking of your safety.”
“Ilya’s taking care of that today.”
“Is he?”
“He’s upgrading all the security at his place. I’ll be safe.”
