Page 47 of Calypso's Shield
I can’t. Not right now.
Her voice cracks when she whispers, “Farris, please.”
I’m already turning, already walking away, my vision blurring.
I hear Allura’s voice behind me, sharp and cutting. “Don’t you fucking do this, Dalton.”
I don’t stop, even though every fiber of me screams to turn back. I can’t look at her. I can’t look at myself. I’ve failed her in every way possible. I don’t stop because right now, I don’t know how to breathe.
She fucking lied to me.
18
CALYPSO
The hospital room smells sterile, cold, and empty, but it’s not the walls or the machines that make my stomach churn, it’s the damn silence between me and Farris.
I should’ve been ready for this. The second I saw Farris standing at the foot of my hospital bed, his eyes dark with grief and rage, I knew he’d already made up his mind, knew he thought he’d lost everything.
And I let him walk away.
I should’ve stopped him. Should’ve reached for him, should’ve fought harder. But the weight of the war, the pain of my injuries, of the secret I still carried held me down like a fucking anchor. I wanted to scream the truth after him. That he was wrong, that our baby was still alive.
But by the time my lips could form the words, he was already gone.
The Royal Harlots and Royal Bastards cleaned up the mess. The Bloody Femmes are back in hiding. The Black Market Railroad is burning to the ground.
And my slimy ex, Dave Train? He’s rotting in a shallow grave. None of that means shit if I don’t get Farris back.
I don’t blame him for walking out. I saw it in his eyes, he thought he failed. He thought he couldn’t protect me, thought the war had taken something from us that we’d never get back. But he didn’t fail. I’m still here. The baby is still here. And now, I need to tell him the truth and fight for him.
I’ve been stuck in here for weeks going bat shit crazy. The doctors won’t let me leave yet because of my Lupus, and they want me to have a solid plan before they discharge me.
I’m supposed to be healing, supposed to rest, but all I can think about is the way Farris’s eyes looked when he found out the truth. The way his face closed off, the way he walked away without a word.
I know what he thinks, he thinks I lost the baby. That’s what he saw when he looked at me. That’s what he believes, but that’s not the truth. I’m still pregnant. My baby’s still here. And Farris doesn’t even know.
I feel the weight of it in my chest, a burning, gnawing ache that won’t go away. I should’ve told him sooner, should’ve found the right words to make him understand. But I was scared. Scared that he wouldn’t want this, scared he would think it was just another complication, another thing for him to fight for.
But I didn’t get the chance to tell him before everything went to hell, and now, he’s gone. He doesn’t know the one thing that can change everything.
My hand shakes as I lift it to my growing stomach. My baby is still here, and I will make sure Farris knows that. I won’t let him walk away from us. I won’t let him think for a second that we’re not his to protect, his to love.
I inhale, the steady beeping of the machines in the background a reminder of my fragility, but it’s not what I’mfocused on right now. I need to get out of here. I need to find Farris.
Allura’s been hovering in the corner, her arms crossed, her eyes hard with concern. She’s been the one to hold my hand through this, the one to help me understand that I’m not alone. She’s been a constant since I was shot, but I can’t lean on her forever. Not now. Not when there’s a man out there who needs to hear the truth.
“He doesn’t know,” I say, my voice hoarse.
Allura raises an eyebrow, her jaw tight. “You have to tell him, Calypso. You can’t keep this from him.”
“I don’t want to keep this from him,” I reply, my fingers gripping the edge of the bed. “I didn’t want him to think I was just another complication.”
“You made that choice,” she shoots back, her voice clipped. “But now, you’ve got to fight for him.”
I take a deep breath. She’s right. I’ve been a coward. Farris is too important to me, too important to this baby, for me to keep hiding. I don’t care how hard it is to face him. I’m going to do it. I’ll get through it. I have to.
The memories of the battle in the warehouse are still fresh in my mind. Bodies falling, blood staining the floors, the fear in Farris’s eyes when he saw me shot. The way he looked at me with horror. That’s the moment I realized the truth of our relationship. He loves me. Even if he doesn’t understand it yet, he does.
