Page 91 of The Jilted Lovers Club
Salt & Sea Ranch
Jordy
Traveling with Ashton and Lottie feels like the most natural thing in the world. Lottie has commandeered the back seat, her little socked feet swinging while she plays with her stuffies. When she gets fussy, Ashton hums a country song under his breath until she calms down—or we pull over at the nearest rest stop so she can stretch her legs and burn some energy.
Ashton insists on driving the whole time, one hand draped casually over the steering wheel, the other occasionally claiming my thigh or playing with my fingers. Every now and then I feel his eyes on the side of my face, just like I keep sneaking glances at him. I can’t believe we’re doing this—just traveling hundreds of miles together like we’re a family.
I like it. I more than like it.
He packed snacks like we were heading across the country instead of just a few hours down the West Coast. A whole tote back is stuffed with every craving imaginable—Pringles, Chips Ahoy, beef jerky, and a Costco-sized canister of M&Ms. I mix the latter with Chex Mix in a Ziploc bag and call it gourmet.
We have some healthier options too—grapes, string cheese, baby carrots—but let’s be honest: this is not the time for restraint. There’s something sacred about road trip snacks, and I intend to honor the tradition.
Nina was thrilled when I called to ask if I could bring Ashton and Lottie along. She promised to have a crib set up in the cabin and said she’d save us a plate of BBQ if we got in past dinner—and we would. It was already past noon by the time we packed up Ashton and Lottie and returned the rental car. We probably wouldn’t reach the ranch until close to eight.
“My parents live here,” I say quietly as we pass a vibrantWelcome to Santa Barbarasign. The words slip out before I can stop them, and just like that, my hands are clammy and my stomach twists into nervous origami. I haven’t seen my mom in ages. The distance has been, well, peaceful. Her disapproval hits softer over the phone, and I’ve stopped bending myself into knots to earn her approval. Still, driving through her zip code feels like brushing up against a forgotten bruise.
Ashton glances at me and takes my hand. “You okay?”
I look to him and smile. “Yeah,” I say. I like that his expression tells me he doesn’t believe me, like he knows me better than I know myself. “My family is just complicated,” I say.
“I know the feeling.” He gives me a little wink, and I squeeze his hand. I suddenly feel bad for even wanting to complain about my mom when he had it so much worse.
“We had such different upbringings,” I say. “I know I was lucky to be raised the way I was.”
“You still have scars,” he says. He offers me a small smile. “We’re products of our past, no matter what. We just get to decide how to move forward.” He laughs, then wrinkles his nose. “I’m sure that someday Lottie will be crying to some guy about how awful her upbringing was.”
“I doubt it,” I laugh. “That girl thinks you hung the moon.”
“Only because I told her I did,” he teases.
I look at him sideways. “Yeah, that,” I laugh. “Not because she’s so well loved and safe.”
Then I rest my head against the window, watching the ocean and the setting sun pass us by—a fading thread of wistfulness in my heart. “She’s lucky to have you.”
We pulled into the Salt & Sea Ranch about twenty minutes earlier than expected, even with so many rest breaks. Lottie is completely passed out in the back, and I hate to wake her. When I do, she reaches for me, snuggling her sweaty head into the crook of my neck in a way that makes my heart melt.
“She’s here!” Nina bounces down the steps, her blue hair flying behind her as she runs full throttle at me.
“Wait,” I laugh, and Nina’s eyes fall on the precious cargo in my arms. She keeps herself from throwing her arms around me, clasping them at her chest instead. “Oh, she’s so sweet,” she coos, slowing to a stop in front of me. She grins then kisses me on the cheek. “Oh Jordy, I can’t believe you’re here!”
Her eyes have tears in them, and I feel my own well up. Now that she’s in front of me, I realize I’ve missed her terribly. Here’s my best friend since birth, practically a sister, and she’s absolutely glowing.
“You look so beautiful,” I say, then finger a lock of her blue hair. Nina never wears her hair natural, opting for brighter colors depending on her mood. It’s something that drives both our mothers crazy, but I’ve always loved it. With my dark hair, I could never pull off something so wild without completely ruining my hair with bleach. But Nina is the fairer of us, with her pale skin and natural blonde hair. “I think this color might be my favorite, it really draws out your skin tone.”
She blushes, giving me anaw shuckswave of her hand.
“And these dark shadows under the eyes from sleepless nights really do wonders for the complexion,” she jokes. But if she’s not getting any sleep, it doesn’t show. Her face is brilliant. She’s so obviously happy, just like she was the last time I saw her on her wedding day.
“You must be Ashton,” she says, then gives me a side glance. Her eyes widen, and that cousin telepathy kicks in.Well done,she seems to say, her eyebrows raising with a wicked grin.
Behind her, Brayden stands on the steps, a bundle in his arms. Little June peeks out, her eyes wide from the lights of the bonfire happening in the center of the courtyard and the stringed lights draped over the yard from the house to the trees surrounding the property. Nina and Ashton are making small talk, but I can’t tear my eyes away.
It’s strange seeing him this way. Strange, but it also makes sense. He always wanted to be a father, and now he’s holding this sweet little girl in his arms, like she’s the most precious thing in the world. I feel my heart melt, even as it breaks a little. I don’t want Brayden anymore. I’m not sure I ever did. But for a moment, I feel the pangs of a life I almost had beforeit was ripped away from both of us. It doesn’t matter that we got pregnant on accident, or even the fact that I never wanted kids. When I was pregnant, and when Brayden moved heaven and earth to make sure I had everything I needed, I eventually allowed myself to look to the future—to envision myself as a mother. I let myself love our own baby girl before we met her. It didn’t even occur to me that we’d lose her, and when we did, it wasn’t only our daughter who died, but every single dream we had for her and our lives together.
Seeing Brayden hold his daughter now makes me happy, but it also makes me feel very, very sad.
Ashton touches my arm, letting his hand linger as I turn to him. The question in his eyes is unmistakable.You okay?
