Page 15 of Shameless
Isabel mirrored my sitting. “Who had his own secrets going on.”
True. I cringed, for I’d told him I was pregnant because I’d wanted to be good. Now, I was feeling as though I'd trapped him or something.
“And you were only saying no because you thought he was poor and you hate poverty though he checks every other button on your list,” Kelly said.
My heart stilled. My friends knew me well.
Isabel smiled and nodded. “And a trillion dollars definitely levels him up from 'booty call.'”
I closed my eyes. I was only predatory when it came to getting clients, but my friends were attributing the wrong reasons to me, for accepting Michael. I closed my eyes. “I’m not that bad, am I?”
Kelly patted my arm and said, “You are, and you know it. Is his cock not satisfying?”
I met her gaze and laughed. Then I asked, “How do you teach children all day?”
A smile formed on her face as she picked up her cup like a wine glass and said, “I’m an angel when I’m there.”
“Do you want Hope’s permission or something?” Isabel asked.
All my friends thought I should be with Michael.
Part of me wanted to continue playing the part I'd created, but a baby changed everything. If I risked continuing to pretend, everyone would soon see what a failure at life I was. For the time being, I told them what they wanted to hear. “No. She doesn’t need to know he came to my house whenever she was upset about having a butler.”
Isabel winked and said, “She’d have let you keep him.”
Kelly finished her drink. “Look, go and get your man.”
Right. I wondered if the two of them were about to hit a bar without me. I shrugged. “Okay, I will, but I am not about taking a man’s money.”
Isabel sat back. “Since when?”
Heat rose in my face. “Since always. I think I was good at my job because I had to prove I was better than everyone else, especially all those annoying men on power trips.”
“None of that matters now,” Kelly said. “You’re going to be a mom, and it’s clear you want that.”
“I need to take a walk.”
“We’re here if you need us.”
But my life wasn’t ever going to be the same—no more drinking till all hours and getting the luxury limo to bring me home to my empty place, which I normally ran away from as soon as I woke.
I hugged my waist and walked through Central Park. Most people were on their phones or talking to their groups or families. My gaze landed on a group of women pushing baby strollers together.
None of my friends would be in a circle like that, and the only reason I had friends at all was because Hope and Isabel had recruited me years before.
I took out my phone so that I would stop gawking and decided to call the one person who would know the real me. On the second ring, she answered.
“Mom?” I said.
“Britney?” She sounded dumbfounded, but she hadn’t ever tried to reach out to me, either, over the past long five years.
I tensed. “Yeah. How are you?”
“The question is what happened to you, that you’re now calling?”
I winced as if she’d slapped me as I translated her words to mean “What do you need me to fix now?” I stared at my building, where Michael was waiting for me, and asked, “What do you mean?”
“Are you sick, going to the hospital or something?”
