Page 61 of Shameless
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I had no job and no more cold pizza, and the houses I kept finding in the area online all had something wrong with them. I didn’t want to be near a sewer or power line. I rubbed my belly. Michael had probably thought I’d lost our child though I’d said it was all me. He hadn’t called.
I didn’t blame him because I’d run and not explained anything. I was staying in the one bedroom I’d lived in for years and avoided going out.
Somehow, I had to make up for stealing an inheritance that was worth far more than I could provide.
The doorman downstairs rang, and I assumed it was my Chinese food order.
However, Kelly’s voice called back. “There you are.”
I would buzz her up though my bathrobe was not exactly couture. “Are you alone?”
“No, Isabel is here.”
Fine. Two of my single friends, not dating friends of Michael, would be a sight for sore eyes. They must have returned from London.
“Come on up,” I said.
The doorman let them past, and I quickly changed my shirt as it had tomato stains.
My heart pounded in my chest. I rushed to the door and let in my friends, who both looked polished, having come from work.
Kelly hugged me and said, “Finally. We’d been calling you for days.”
Isabel turned with her arms hugging her waist and said, “No one’s seen you in days.”
We walked to my living room, and I wished I’d cleaned up some.
“How’s Michael?” I asked.
Kelly’s face crumpled. “The press was hounding him, but Miley and Jeff got him some injunctions. He’s worried about you.”
Tears wells in my eyes, but I shook my head. “I don’t want to see him.”
Isabel then said, “We wanted to tell you we’re so sorry. You clearly wanted to have the baby.”
I took a breath, placed my hand on my stomach and said, “I am going to have this baby. What are you saying?”
They both sucked in their breath.
Isabel then said, “Wait. You know he thinks you lost it. You’re still pregnant?”
I cringed. More lies—I was clearly the queen of them. “Fuck me. I told him it was me, not the baby.”
Kelly asked, “Why would he think that?”
Tears washed down my cheeks. I’d hated myself since the day in the hospital and the flight home. I’d heard his family and all the drama that Michael hadn’t known. It was good that he fixed everything, and he didn’t need me.
I swallowed. “I was under stress, and I’m not the kind to ever fall in love. I need to keep my life simple and stress free from here on out.”
Kelly asked, “You don’t love him?”
Isabel broke the silence that clung in the air. “Not now, Kelly.” She turned to me and said, “You look like you’ve not slept in days, which can’t be good for the baby.”
She wasn’t pushing me. I closed my eyes. All I truly wanted was to be safe and have a life that I controlled.
Kelly said, “You need to fix this now. He’s hurting and broken.”
