Page 42 of Unravelling: Aria & Crispin
Everything seemed to slow down, and the familiar sounds were far away.
The water was murky and everything was a haze.
You don't know up from down.
She moved through the day as if submerged. Every sound came muffled, every colour dimmed. The burden of the past-her thoughts, her heartbreak, the slow crush of reality reinstating itself-pressed on her from all sides.
There was only detachment.
It was like her body was doing the things it needed to do, but she was somewhere far behind it, watching through a window that had been nailed shut from the outside.
Her body remembered what to do. Her hands packed the bag, locked the door, wheeled the bike down the stairs. Khalid had already packed her sandwich, carefully wrapped, the corners pressed down like always. He handed it to her gently.
She couldn't meet his eyes.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Just a tight shake of her head.
He didn't push.
The wind hit her face, sharp and cold, but it was the only part of her day that offered any kind of release.
There was a strange kind of peace in the motion-her legs pushing the pedals, the rhythm of breath and road-but it didn't last.
The out-of-body feeling continued when she reached The Crusty Loaf. Gallen was already distracted, fiddling with the oven dials and muttering about the wrong batch of flour. Liz was, as usual, irritable and sharp. Jacob greeted her with his typical boyish grin and a shy, "Morning, Aria."
She gave him a small smile, but even that felt forced.
Later, when she brought him his coffee, she nearly forgot the sugar. She set it down too quickly, a little spilling over the rim onto the saucer. He reached out, fingertips grazing hers in a brief, tentative gesture. Then, just as quickly, he pulled back, as if afraid she might misunderstand.
"Are you alright?" he asked, his voice low, uncertain.
Aria gave a short nod, but her eyes were already brimming.
She looked up, tried to blink the tears away, and forced herself to mutter something vague before slipping into the back.
She didn't come out until it was time to go.
The tube ride to the Lackenbys was quieter. Rush hour was over and the tube car was practically empty. She didn't try to read labels on passing ads or peer at book titles over people's shoulders. Didn't have the energy for it.
She just stared at the floor.
The sandwich Khalid made sat heavy in her bag. She took a bite, but the smell of the meat made her nauseous. She threw the rest into the bin near the escalators and drank from her water bottle until her stomach stopped twisting.
Nobody was home when she reached the Lackenbys' townhouse, but there was a list on the kitchen counter.
She vacuumed the halls. Wiped mirrors. Scrubbed the downstairs bath until her fingers ached. Her thoughts were mercifully blank-just the hum of the vacuum, the swish of the mop, the tick of a wall clock counting down the hours she had to fill.
There was a message from Lule.
Call me as soon as you get home.
Aria typed back:
Okay.
Tonight. She would talk to Lule tonight.
