Page 49 of In Death's Hands
“Help?”
I wave a hand at him. “Yes, help. From your friends.”
“I don’t have friends.”
I cock my head at him. “You don’t?”
“No.” He looks embarrassed, turning away from me as his jaw tightens.
“What about Turan?” He doesn’t move to confirm or deny anything, simply stares into the distance. “Thalnus, then?” His eyes narrow. “Atys?” His head finally turns to me, features tight.
“I don’t have friends,” he repeats.
“Then colleagues, whatever you want to call them. We could use the help. Unless you feel confident with being the only one defending me.” I know it’s a dirty move, but I need this to work.
When he closes his eyes to sigh, I know I’ve won. “We can try Thalnus and Atys, although I’m sure they’re already back to partying,” he says with contempt.
“What do you have against them?” I ask, curious.
“Nothing.”
I want to press further, but I realise that he’s sort of agreed to my plan, and I need to pick my battles. “So what do we do?”
He cocks his head at me, a small smirk stretching his lips. “I thought you had a plan?”
I narrow my eyes at him as I cross my arms. “I already came up with the plan, now execute.”
He chuckles but sobers up quickly. “I’ve already used up the favour Thalnus owed me, having them meet us at the cave.”
“I don’t understand. Don’t they want to get their memories back too?”
“Not everyone feels as strongly against the status quo as I do. They have found their balance and enjoy the place they have carved for themselves amongst humans.”
He looks like he’s simultaneously angry and envious. I remember how he told me he felt trapped by his own place in the Order. “Why can’t you do the same thing?” I ask quietly, afraid to offend him.
“Because they get to wave their hands and push things into place. They’re not as much an intrinsic part of the Order as I am,” he explains, looking as heavy as he did back in that cave. “Likeweare,” he adds, and I know he means both him and Death himself.
I can’t bear to see him like this. So… defeated. “So we go to them this time,” I tell him, hoping to focus him on something concrete. One of my therapists told me that whenever I feel overwhelmed, I should focus on the one thing I can actually do to change my situation or take control of it somehow, no matter how small. It’s one of the few things I was told that has actually helped me. Turns out, what I could do was stop talking about what truly happened to me, and it helped. Immensely.
“I was hoping to avoid that, actually,” he says, making a face.
“Why?”
“You’re about to find out.”
I look around, forcing my eyes to adjust to the brightness. Going from middle-of-the-night London to late afternoon in a second is as strange as expected. I quickly wonder if the jetlag will be better or worse for it. Nathan wanted to wait until morning before we left so that I could sleep, but I knew I wouldn’t have managed to shut my brain off, so I convinced him that there was no time like the present. He’d looked like he wanted to argue, but in the end, he only nodded and held me close once more. I think that might be the part I like most about Fading.
I hadn’t even wanted to take time to change, but as the warm sun greets us and sand sneaks its way into my trainers, I regret it.
Looking at the sparkling blue water crashing against the soft white of the beach, and the unmistakable mountain top behind me, I ask incredulously, “Hawaii?” This can’t be real. Surely I’ve never been this lucky in my entire life.
But Nathan, observing everything with narrowed eyes and a long-suffering look on his handsome face, confirms my wildest dream. “Hawaii.”
It takes everything in me to repress the squeal wanting to burst free. Instead, I take a massive breath of air, relishing the saltiness of it. This air, that view, the fact that I’m already sweating beneath my sweater makes me think that being chased by a homicidal sect is worth it.
“We need t—”
“Turtle!” I yell, the squeal I repressed earlier returning with a vengeance and getting free. I let go of my sweater, which I wasremoving, and can’t be bothered by anything other than,Turtle! There’s a turtle swimming right in front of me!
