Page 90 of In Death's Hands
We will not say.
Is it the same person who took the Origins’ memories?
Silence greets me.
Is it?I insist.
Yes.
The wall seems to crumble slightly. Cracks appear and my shock peers through.
What can you tell me to stop that person from harming me? Is there a way to get their memories back?
Nothing. Yes.
Anger bursts through the wall and explodes within me in all its glory. Damned Order and its strange voices. Damned stupid, ambiguous answers! I reach for a tangled mass of red threads and pull on one. The voices screech and pain blinds me. I try to cover my ears but still cannot feel any part of myself. The threads I disrupted unravel and expand. They seem to dance on an invisible wind and pull me in. I see glimpses I do not understand. A frail hand fisted in anger. A piece of gold melting under fire. A finger wrapped in red.
Wait.
I focus my mind on that finger and the shifting scenes slow down in my mind. I follow that thread like I did before and can feel its desperation as it crawls in front a familiar body curled up on the floor. Again, the person opens their eerie white eyes and looks directly at me, except this time I recognise the soul staring through them.
You were not supposed to do that,the voices warn.It was not written that way.
What are you talking about? Is that the missing Fate?
Silence greets me.
Please, I beg.
You seem to be carving a new path, one that was not foreseen. We have not planned for that.
Welcome to my life, I retort bitterly.If it was not written, then there is no path for you to follow. Tell me!Exasperation has me tightening my hands. Hands that tingle with the renewed sensation there.
Yes.
Yes to what?
They are the combination of all. They are one. They are the link.
I roar my frustration and feel the strain on my vocal cords. I must be waking up. Urgency claws at me, tightening my throat.Was that a Fate?The light pulses once in answer. I’ve found a Fate. Celestina is keeping that Fate. How does no one else know? Fear erupts deep inside me, and I know I am seconds away from waking. I still have so many questions, and yet the one I’m not sure I want the answer to escapes my sealed lips.Was I supposed to die that night?
It depends on who you ask.
Please—please don’t be cryptic. Not for this. I need to know. Why did Death save me if I was supposed to die? I don’t know what “written in flesh” means!
Your death was woven in the threads.
The wall falls to dust at my feet, and all the anger, fear and despair comes at me like a tidal wave.
The Novensiles are wrong.The voices grow fainter and pressure encases my hand.Interpretation… Thetlum asked for… not the abomination.
I hear my name from far away but focus on the Order.What does that mean?My name comes at me like a weapon. So loud I finally recognise Nathan’s voice. But I’m not ready. I need to know more. What does it all mean? The light around me fades to black. I think I hear something about trusting someone but can’t fully hold on to the words. I’m back in the empty space I was in before, feeling more lost than ever. I go over the words that were said over and over again, hoping for an understanding that does not come.
Nathan calls me again, his voice so urgent it stirs something deep inside me. Cold wraps me in its embrace once more. I’m shivering so hard I fall to my knees in the endless dark. My eyes are opening. And I remember something. There was one thing I tried to say, but I realise now it was never voiced. One thought I could swear was pure truth, and yet it didn’t get to be.
I don’t know what “written in flesh” means.
I really don’t, but if I couldn’t say it… do I?
