Page 70 of In Death's Hands
I’m going todevourhim. I move to do just that, desire blazing once more beneath my skin, never having been truly sated in the first place, but as my hand reaches for his hard cock again, it only comes into contact with the pillow while my ass hits the bed, and I have to react quickly to catch myself before stumbling head first into the wall.
The change is so abrupt it gives me whiplash. I look around, trying to get my heart back to a reasonable rhythm, but it’s hard to do so when Nathan is nowhere to be found.
I’m all alone.
Nathan
I’m an idiot.
I couldn’t remember why when she was kissing me. When her soft, soft lips were moving against mine. When my fingers were buried inside her, drawing such delicious noises from her mouth. But now it’s all painfully clear again. I’m the biggest fucking idiot on the entire fucking planet.
There. For someone that never used to curse, that flows remarkably well.
I sigh for what is probably the millionth time since I ran from her bedroom like the coward I am. Not her bedroom, actually, but Atys’. I feel my lips stretch as I think of what smell we left on the bastard’s bed. Serves him well for letting her wear one of his shirts.
I catch myself. Right,that’swhat’s important right now. Disgust curls my lips, erasing all smugness I may have felt.
“There you are!” Turan’s small hand lands on my shoulder for a second before she settles at my side. Like me, she’s sitting facing the ocean sparkling under the bright moonlight. Unlike me, she’s happily burrowing her toes in the cool sand. The last time I went barefoot on the beach, a dare from the tiny woman currently beside me, a crab pinched me and freed curses long forgotten by even humans. I will not repeat that experience anytime soon.
“How’s Liv?”
“Resting,” I answer, willing my face to stay blank. Begging my brain to stop conjuring the memories of her body against mine, the way that stupid flag looked against her pearly skin, the way she trusted me,me, with her body and her pleasure. When I am but a forgotten speck of dust in the dying universe, I will remember the way her voice broke around my name as her pleasure crested and she tightened around my fingers. My heart is beating wildly again, and I force the briny breeze to cool me down. My body is coiled and seconds away from running back to her. I can’t let it.
“I’m surprised.”
“By what?”
“Her.”
I bristle at her side and, judging by the arch of her eyebrows, Turan catches it. Catches me. She’s always seen more of me than others. More than I want her or anyone else to see. It’s deeply annoying.
“How’s that?” I ask, hoping to distract her andneedingto know anything regarding the woman who changed everything for me a long time ago.
“By her resting, for one.” She eyes me all too suspiciously, but she doesn’t know. She can’t know that I caved in to very human desires. The ones I judged the others for having. She can’t know that it took everything in me to leave that bed. Most importantly, she can’t know how close I came to admitting to what I did. I’ve stayed silent for so long the urge to open up surprised me. Liv seems to be uncovering parts of me I thought long gone. It’s a painful process. The feelings and instincts I buried are aching as they come back to life.
“She fought hard,” I answer non-committally. “You healed her; it always takes a toll.”
“Mhm.” I can feel her eyes burning the side of my face but focus mine on the bright moon close to being full. “I’m surprised by you too, you know.” I close my eyes, waiting for the blow to fall, but she shocks me when she adds, “Impressed, even.”
I frown and turn to her so fast she chuckles quietly, clearly delighted to have got a reaction out of me. “What are you talking about?” I know my voice is closer to a growl, but I don’t like being teased.
“I’ve never seen you more alive than when she’s around.”
I huff, already dismissing her. I ignore the pang in my chest that feels an awful lot like disappointment. For a second, I thought I had surpassed my own role and its limitations, done something worth notice and respect. But I should know better. Turan too often refuses to see someone’s faults and hold them accountable. Of course she’d be proud of me—she always is—but I still am what I am. Nothing has changed.
“She’s right, you know.”
I tense as Atys makes his presence known and sits down on my other side. Clenching my teeth, I pointedly ignore them both. I should know better than to think that would work with these two.
“I’m serious, man. For decades you looked down your nose at us, feeling all high and mighty for not succumbing to human emotions. But look at you now, you actually care about some—”
I growl a warning.
“—thing,” Atys finishes with a wink. He seems to have warmed to my presence, and I can’t help but wonder if Liv has anything to do with that.
“What would that something be?” I ask, not knowing why I push. It seems tonight my good sense has taken its leave and gone merry-dancing with the rest of them.
Atys smirks, all too willing to play, as usual. “That particular somethingseems to have a good influence on you, making you a little more human. After all, how are we supposed to do our duties without understanding them?”
