Page 61 of In Death's Hands
I gape at him, his rejection like acid in my stomach. I try to move but find myself locked by too many hands that do nothing to quench the fire under my skin. I want to cry.
“I don’t know why it’s affecting her so strongly.”
“Whatis affecting her so strongly?” seethes Nathan, his voice full of shadows and dark threats.
Atys sighs heavily, seeming to debate something for a second. “Thalnus likes to help his guests feel more at ease.”
“Bydruggingthem?”
“No!” Atys drags a hand over his face. “Humans know and agree to this. It helps them relax amongst our kind. You know how they are, that they can feel that we are… other. It’s like drinking a few glasses of wine for them. Enough to loosen up, but not enough to rob them of their own mind. At least”—he looks my way and winces—“not usually.”
“Is it in the food? I don’t think she ate anything. Did you give her something to drink on purpose?” The violence in Nathan’s eyes tells me that if he weren’t holding me, he’d be holding on to Atys’ throat, trying to see how long he could block his airway before the guy passed out. For some reason, that only stokes my desire.
“No! It just… is.”
I don’t understand what that means, but then again, I don’t understand much of what’s happening. The only thing I’m focused on right now is the feel of those hands on me. I will them to move, to stroke, but to my eternal disappointment, they stay put. Although I swear one shadow hand brushes its thumb across my thigh in a soothing fashion. It’s over before I can be sure, but the gesture leaves a gentle feeling tugging at my heart.
I feel Nathan’s sigh against my too-hot cheeks. He’s like a leashed storm. Powerful. Deadly. Utterly beautiful. “I’m sorry,” he tells me, and confusion has me furrowing my brows. Why would he—
Pain stabs at my head. A scream fights its way out of my throat, but before it can come to life, Atys’ large hand covers my lips, keeping the sound and the pain prisoner.
I lose all senses as a different kind of fire burrows into my skin, into my brain. “I’m so sorry.” I hear Nathan’s strained voice, but I can’tthink.
My hands are suddenly free, and I feel his cradling my face. I try to shake off his hold, try to escape the pain, but it doesn’t work.
And then it’s gone.
I stay frozen, scared that one move, one breath, might bring it all back. Whatwasthat? My heart is beating erratically in my chest. I take inventory of my body and feel nothing but Nathan’s hands still holding my face, his fingers stroking my cheeks repeatedly. “Liv?” he asks, and I open my eyes slightly to see Nathan crouching in front of me. His face is a mask of agony and shame. Didhedo that to me?
I scramble backwards, fleeing them both.
“What—” I swallow, my throat dry and scratchy. “What happened?” I hate the shakiness in my voice.
I look at Nathan, hoping I’m mistaking the look in his eyes. He couldn’t have done that to me. Not when he’s been protecting me since we met.
“I’m…” He stops, swallowing once, twice. “You were affected by this place. Overly so. I… Thalnus’ power covers the grounds, so the only way to get your mind out of that web was to… hijack it.”
What? The question must be written on my face because he keeps going, his eyes not truly meeting my own.
“I sent my shadow into your mind. For a minute,” he adds quickly, “and not completely.”
I don’t even know what to say to that. I think back to what happened and… Oh! Iwasacting weird. More than weird! For crying out loud, I nearly threw myself at them!
My eyes widen and heat streaks across my face. I turn to leave but am blocked by Atys’ raised hands. “You have nothing to feel bad about, sweet thing. You were not yourself.”
Pushing the embarrassment aside to think about at another time—or never—I whirl on him to jab my finger into his flag-covered chest. “What thehellis wrong with you lot?” Atys shushes me, throwing a worried look around us, probably afraid I’ll blow our cover. But I can’t find it in me to care at the moment. “Don’t you dare shush me! You have people here under the influence of that spell? You’re taking advantage of them!” I vaguely remember him explaining otherwise to Nathan, but I can’t believe that when I was seconds away from touching myself in front of them! From climbing them both like trees and never letting go.
“It’s not a spell,” he starts, but my glare makes it clear that I don’t currently give a shit about the nomenclature of his world. I’m sure I will later, but now isn’t then. “It’s just energy that allows them to relax and to be a little confused about what’s happened once they leave,” he explains in earnest. “Just enough to make them think everything was completely normal here and they simply indulged a little too much. You were unnaturally affected. Trust me, baby. We may have questionable morals, but even we wouldn’t force ourselves on anyone. Especially when we can find willing playthings easily.”
Playthings. I narrow my eyes at him. “You have no right!” Even as I scream that, I wonder if I’m right. Don’t they? Don’t they have every single right they want? Being the gods—theOrigins—that they are. Linked to the very existence of thisworld, if I understand properly. Don’t they haveeveryright to do as they please?
“No. We do not,” answers Nathan solemnly. His eyes are back on mine, his face blank as if he’s pushed aside whatever guilt he clearly felt to face my wrath. “Our role doesn’t make us omnipotent, although many will try to make you believe that,” he says, throwing a seething look at the man at his side, who appears truly offended by the jab. “We may know that we’ve been herefrom the beginning of it all”—he sneers as he repeats Atys’ own words from earlier—“but we don’t remember it. Not truly.”
I still struggle to grasp what that means. How can they know yet not remember? Nathan told me that it’s an instinct. A knowledge buried so deep inside them that it’s like breathing for a newborn. But it’s still too strange for my human mind to truly understand.
“And even if we did remember,” he continues, “it wouldn’t change the fact that we are servants of this realm. Not owners, and certainly not rulers. Although many of us have grown bored with it and decided to interact more fully with our charges.”
Atys scoffs loudly. “You’re one to talk.”
