Page 53 of In Death's Hands
He’s all serious, though, when he says, “You won’t, but it’s a good idea. If you want help protecting Liv and capturing one of the Novensiles, this is the best place to do so.”
My eyebrows rise when I hear my name from his lips, and he looks at me with a twinkle in his eyes.
Atys clears his throat, and when I turn to him, he seems far too happy for my comfort. “You know,” he says, dragging the word out, “therearehumans in there.”
“No,” Nathan snaps through clenched teeth.
My eyes narrow. “If there are others like me, then I can blend in.”
“You certainly cannot,” insists Nathan.
I cross my arms and stare at him.
“There are many like us in there, not all from the Blue Depths Crown,” he says sternly. “Many of whom are not very fond of me.” He ignores Atys’ scoff. “The very fact that you are human and travelling with me will arouse their curiosity,especially as I’m sure word has already reached them of our meeting with Cel.”
“So?”
Sighing, Nathan shakes his head. “The humans in there… Liv, you have to understand that we’ve been here, without memories, for close to two hundred years.”
The knot in my stomach tightens. I knew that, but I didn’tknowknow. At least, he hasn’t confirmed it so clearly before. Two hundred years. He’s been alive fortwo hundred years. No. Shit. It has to be more.Ifthey truly are Origins, they must be thousands of years old. The world suddenly seems shakier, my life so inconsequential. I can’t imagine being alive for that long.
Unaware of the mind-fuck he’s unleashed, Nathan keeps talking, his tone too gentle for my liking. “Some of us grew restless, purposeless. They tuned out the Order.” I see Atys roll his eyes but stay focused on Nathan’s words. “They tuned out the inner knowing telling each of us what our role is in this world, to focus on the pleasures easily accessible here.”
He looks at me pointedly, but my mind is utterly blank.
Closing his eyes, he adds, “They turned to the pleasures your kind can offer.”
Oh.Oh.I’m afraid to understand. I’m afraid Iunderstand.
“Gorgeous, if you want in, you’ll have to play the part,” adds Atys, hammering in what I’m certain could be the last nail in my coffin.
Nathan
Liv doesn’t even look at me as she climbs the stairs with Atys, his bare ass swaying this way and that. She laughs and shakes her head as he says something undoubtedly stupid, his arm still thrown around her shoulders. She doesn’t seem to mind. I feel my hands tighten at my sides and know I’m showing too much, but my mind is lost recalling the noises she made when I touched her. Kissed her. Goodness, how could I havekissedher?
I’m a heartless monster, that’s how.
“You’re fucked.”
I turn my head to Thalnus and don’t even bother denying it, which makes his blue eyes sparkle, and that makes me want to punch the smug look off his stupid face. At least he’s wearing something, revealing enough of his dark skin but not nearly as much as his right-hand man. I had to suppress very base instincts when Atys opened that door, utterly bare for Liv to take her fill. I could see her curious stare, and wonder how curious she is exactly, my body tensing even more when I recall that they’re on their way to a bedroom right now.
I don’t get the instant connection between those two. They’ve barely ever talked. Never alone, that’s for sure. While I’ve been going to see her at her work, trying to connect with her for so long it feels almost like a lost cause.
She doesn’t owe me anything. I know that more than anyone, after all, but it’d be nice to not have to fight her for everything, let alone her own protection. She’s so strong and yetfeels so vulnerable in my hands. The memory of her frail body in my arms will forever haunt me. She’s the flame in my shadow-ridden life. It pains me to think that flame and darkness are meant to coexist but never connect.
Once we find out what’s going on, once we figure out how to stop these accidents, she’ll go back to her life and her friends. I should be happy, but the thought only makes me cold.
I flinch as I recall the words that escaped me earlier. I never want her to know how badly I screwed up. Liv could be the fresh wind needed to get us all sailing in the right direction, as a tight unit. I barely remember those days.
The first weeks or so after we woke up, we were all so united in our goal. We needed to understand ourselves, get control of our abilities and figure out what had happened to us. There were many theories. Some initially thought we were just “born”, but the few memories and instincts we had seemed to indicate foul play. That’s when doubts and suspicions started slithering their way into our hearts. Borders between Crowns became more solid as distrust grew, culminating in an incident that cemented the end of our partnerships.
I drag my thoughts away from that incident in which I played a significant part, I’m ashamed to admit, and focus on the man in front of me.
Thalnus looks at me, seeming all too aware of my internal turmoil. But he surprises me by motioning for me to follow him down a corridor on our right and opening a door to a study. The room is elegantly decorated. Warm, with floor-to-ceiling shelves on all four walls, filled to the brim with books. A big desk full of documents and open books sits in the centre with a big leather chair at its front and two plush armchairs facing it. For someone that appears to be intent on spending his life partying and neglecting his duties, Thalnus certainly seems busy.
Sitting rather unceremoniously on the leather chair, he jerks his chin to one of the armchairs and takes a decanter and two crystal glasses out of a drawer.
My eyebrows shoot up as I sit down. I have never, ever sat down cordially with any ruler of a Crown. Or any of us, really, aside from Turan.
