Page 52 of In Death's Hands
“Cut it out,” growls Nathan.
Thalnus crosses his arms and offers us a royally satisfied smirk. “If that’s how you ask for help, I’m afraid you can go back to where you came from.”
I feel Atys’ hard gaze on me and realise he’s making eyes at me, paired with subtle shakes of his head. It’s a struggle to understand what he means when I’m working my hardest to not fixate on his naked form.
“You know how urgent the situation is. You were there,” says Nathan with a pointed look. “The repeated attacks on Liv are alarming and unnatural, but they give us what we’ve been missing so far to be able to look further into what happened to us.” He throws a look my way and I see the apology there.
“The Novensiles being active again is rather worrying, I’ll admit. But what do we care if they’re only after one human?”
Nathan’s whole body seems ready to snap under the pressure, but as I look at Thalnus, something doesn’t add up. He was shaken by whatever they saw in that cave. He helped us with Celestina. The man in question looks at me quickly, and in his deep blue eyes, I see his words for the taunting they are. I don’t understand why, but hewantsto rile Nathan up, and my friend just walked right into it.
“Whydon’tyou care is the better question!” Nathan thunders. “Are you so lost to yourselves that you don’t want to know who we were? Are you so fucked in the head that this life is enough for you? I know you feel the pull of the Order, as I do. Iknowthe lack of Fates is an eternal, unscratched itch that drives you mad.” He looks each of them in the eye, and my hand aches to wrap around his, to warn him that something is afoot here, yes, but also to soothe him. “Where’s your honour, damn it! You cannot be happy simpering away and ignoring the call. I’d know—the one time I did, it nearly drove me mad.”
Nathan stops abruptly, eyes wide, as if realising he’s said something he didn’t want to, and as I turn back to Thalnus to see a spark of satisfaction in his eyes, I wonder if that admission was what he wanted from my friend all along.
Sighing, Nathan adds quietly, “I cannot guarantee Liv’s safety while also tracking and capturing one of the Novensiles.”
Thalnus gives me an appraising look. “I guess I could find it in me to look after her while you go hunting, boy.” Chillsinstantly travel up my arms as Nathan’s power wakes up with a roar. Our not so graceful host chuckles, obviously delighted at having pushed Nathan’s buttons.
“Enough,” I interrupt, not knowing in the slightest what I’m about to say. “I’ve had enough of your pissing contests. If you want to measure, I’ll find the tape, but meanwhile, I would like to figure out how this nightmare can end so I can return to my stupidly boring life. And yes, I’m at the point where almost dying every other day would be a relief from all this.” I gesture to everything and everyone around me, trying and failing to ignore the hurt in Nathan’s eyes. I believe I’ve said way more than I wanted to. Maybe more than I meant. I don’t have time to dwell on it, however, because I am once again in between two gods who look like they would very much like to pummel each other deep into the earth. Momma Earth doesn’t deserve that. “We all seem to have the same issue here, so I don’t understand why we have to beg the ego out of you”—I point my finger at Thalnus’ chest—“for some help. You guys have, like, superpowers and shit. Why am I the one forcing you to work together?” The more I speak, the more heated I become. I don’t understand them. They’ve been here for who knows how long, they havemagic, or whatever the hell they call it, and something clearly rattled them in that cave. Enough so that Thalnus agreed to help with Celestina. “You aregods. Act like it.”
The silence is loud. Too loud and too long, until Atys bursts out laughing. “You told her we’re gods?”
I spin to Nathan, hoping this is a joke, but the sheepish look on his face makes me scowl. “Youlied?”
Passing his hand through his hair in a gesture I refuse to think is cute, he says, “That’s the closest I could find to try to explain.”
“How about explaining with the fucking truth?”
“You were already dealing with a lot.”
“What the fuck are you? How can anything be worse than gods?”
When he still says nothing, I see red and turn to Atys. The man shrugs and finally gives me the truth. “We’re Origins. We’ve been here since the beginning.”
“The beginning of what?”
“Of it all, baby,” he adds with a wink.
For a split-second, the enormity of what he says stuns me. It still doesn’t excuse Nathan’s sort-of lie. Gods, Origins, leprechauns would have gob-smacked me the same. Shaking it off for the moment, I turn back to Thalnus and Nathan. “I don’t care what you call yourselves”—sonot true—“grow up and figure out a way to help me. Figure out a way to help yourselves.” I’m seething from their stupidity and Atys’ revelation.
“She’s right.”
My mouth opens at Thalnus’ words. And it seems I’m not the only one surprised by this turn of events as I find Nathan at a loss for words. Only Atys doesn’t seem surprised, just pleased, and quiet for once.
Sighing, Thalnus drags a hand through his short hair, the movement making his muscles ripple. “Maybe… maybe it is time.”
“You think?” Nathan’s voice drips with sarcasm, but I jab my elbow into his ribs, making all three men—gods, Origins,whatever—look at me like I’ve sprouted horns.
I look at Thalnus, noting how his gaze is hesitant, and I wonder what happened to the man, what happened to them all, to make them give up the search for their past. Their truth. Now that I know my cursed life is not simply due to poor luck, there is nothing that’ll make me stop searching for a solution.An explanation. But I’m young. I can see how years upon years of disappointed hopes and a lack of answers could wear at a soul. I see those years in his eyes, in the way hope tries to shine through, but a heavy dose of scepticism blocks it out.
Gently, I ask, “Will you help me? Please?”
His eyes shutter, and I know he will.
Atys chooses that moment to throw his arm around my shoulders, poking my hip with his, and I shut my lids against what his movements do to certain parts of his body. “I have an idea,” he says, and my eyes open despite my best intentions. I focus on his face and find I’m not too thrilled with the gleam I see in his eyes.
“I already don’t like it,” grumbles Nathan, and as I turn to him, I see a corner of Thalnus’ mouth twitch.
