Page 58 of The Forbidden Summer
She blinks, her lips parting slightly in surprise. “Van…”
“I know it’s not what you were expecting,” I say quickly. “And I know it’s probably a lot to take in, but this isn’t something new. It’s been there for years, even when I didn’t have the words for it. And now… now I do.”
She leans back slightly, her hand still resting on the mug. “Does he…?”
“Yes,” I say simply. “He does. We’ve been careful. Respectful. But it’s real. And it’s mutual.”
My heart is tripping over itself trying to find a rhythm that doesn’t feel like I’m coding. “Mom, we both know I was never going to put on a suit and work in an office. I went to school for you, not me. This is what I want. What I’ve always wanted.”
She lets out a soft exhale, her eyes dropping to her tea. “You’ve been carrying this for a long time.”
I nod. “And I’m tired of hiding it. I don’t want to anymore.”
She looks at me again, her expression unreadable. “And what about the cabin? Is that why you want to move back?”
“It’s part of it,” I admit. “But it’s not just about him. It’s about me, too. About finding a place that feels like home. A place I can be myself. And yeah, part of that is being with him. But it’s also the life I want to build there. With or without him.”
Her face softens, and she reaches across the table to take myhand. “You’ve grown up more than I realized, Van. I might not understand everything about this, but I see how much it matters to you. And I’ll do my best to support you. He did an amazing job raising you. Look what a fine man you’ve grown into.”
Because he’s a fine man, and I wanted to be just like him.
Relief washes over me, and for the first time in days, the knot in my chest loosens.
“Thank you,” I say, my voice quiet but full of gratitude.
“I’m… still trying to wrap my head around it all,” she admits, looking down at her hands. “It’s not what I expected for you. But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”
I breathe out and I feel the fear and anxiety ease from my chest.
She looks up again, and her eyes shine with something tender, even if it’s a little guarded. “I just want you to be safe, Van. To be loved the way you deserve. If that’s with him… then okay. We’ll figure it out.”
My throat catches. “Thank you,” I whisper.
She reaches for my hand, giving it a light squeeze. “You’ve always had a big heart. Maybe now it finally found the right place to land.”
She squeezes my hand. “Just promise me one thing.”
“Anything.”
“Be sure this is what you really want. For yourself. Not just for him because I love you both, and I want you both to be happy.”
Waylon
The cabin feels hollow without him.
I move through the days like a ghost, fixing things that don't need fixing, stacking wood I'll never burn, organizing tools I've already organized a hundred times. The lake is still, the trees heavy with summer, but it all feels muted now, like someone turned the world down low.
At night, it's worse. I sit by the fire pit, the stars burning brightly overhead, and think about him. Wondering if he’s lying awake in his bed too, missing me, or if he’s slipping back into his old life without a second thought. I want to call—God, I want to hear his voice—but fear pins my hand to my side. Whatif he sounds different? What if he’s already moving on, and my call just drags him back to something he’s trying to forget?
The start of the new semester is coming up. I keep checking the calendar, even though I know the date by heart. I wonder if he’ll stay, or decide to come back home.
Home.
Here.
With me.
I lean back in the creaky porch chair, staring out at the dark water, and let the longing settle deep into my bones.
