Page 30 of Grave Kisses
“It’s not, but why do you think it is?”
“After… When we had sex… I just ignored you two. I was so mean…” I say. “I didn’t feel like I deserved any of that when I would just end up getting everyone hurt… I already lost Alan; I didn’t want to lose y’all too.”
Marcus wraps me in a tight hug, and I fall apart. He holds me close as I cry and doesn’t let go. Eventually, the truck stops, and Bellamy gets out and goes around the truck to stand at the door beside us. I sit up and wipe my face before looking up at them.
“I’m sorry,” I whimper. “I’m so sorry.”
“Baby, you have nothing to apologize for,” Bellamy says. “I know you might have felt alone the last six weeks, but you weren’t.We’ve been right here beside you, no matter how hard you pushed.”
“Why put up with it?” I ask.
“Because you are worth it, Kendra,” Marcus says. “You are worth every second of all the good and bad moments. No matter what is thrown at us, we are here by your side no matter what.”
“I just want to be happy. I want to feel safe,” I say.
“Let’s go in and make sure you are okay. Afterwards, we can curl up in bed and watch a movie. How does that sound?” Marcus asks.
“Really good,” I sniffle.
“Alright,” he chuckles. “Let’s go get your clumsy ass looked at.”
I am lying on the hospital bed waiting for the doctor to come back. They did a bunch of scans to make sure I’m okay. I am bored, and I just want to go home now. When the door opens, I sit up.
“Okay,” Dr. Trask says as he sits on his rolling stool and moves to the end of the bed. Marcus and Bellamy are sitting in chairs beside me. “So, scans came back good. You don’t have any obvious damage from the fall.”
“So, I can leave?” I ask.
“Mmm. Not just yet,” he says. I am ready to lie my ass off to keep myself out of a padded room when he continues talking. “I ran some routine blood work, and it appears that you are pregnant.”
“What the fuck did you just say?” I snap.
“Oh wow…” Marcus says.
“Oh wow, nothing. There is no fucking way. I’m on birth control.”
“Miss any days?” he asks.
“I mean, my apartment blew up, and I had to get a new prescription. I only missed a few days,” I say. He gives me a deadpan look as if to say I am a giant moron. “Fuck…”
“Your bloodwork compared to your last menstrual cycle would indicate that you are about eight weeks along,” he says. “I’d like to do an ultrasound to see how baby is doing.”
“No,” I say. “No, I can’t be… I don’t know who… But if he… Oh, fuck.”
“Look at me,” Bellamy says, squeezing my hand as I start to panic.
“I can’t put a baby in danger. I can’t,” I say tearfully.
“No matter what happens, we are right here, okay? We will do everything we can to keep you and our baby safe,” Bellamy says.
“We’ve got this, Kendra. I promise, we can do this. Okay? Let’s see how the baby is and go from there.”
“Maybe just stay away from stairs,” Bellamy adds, and I laugh. A nurse comes in, pulling a portable ultrasound with her, and Dr. Trask stands up.
“Okay. You are far enough along that she is going to do a belly scan. If we have trouble seeing, we will switch to the transvaginal scan,” Dr. Trask says. I just nod because I might cry if I speak. The nurse sets everything up before having me raise my shirt. She puts a clear jelly on my lower belly before pressing the wand on me. I cover my eyes with my arm and pray to whatever God will listen to me that if I am pregnant, that I didn’t kill the poor thing with my lack of coordination.
They are all so quiet that it starts to scare me. When I move my arm and look at Marcus, his eyes are wide as he looks at the screen. “What?” I ask. “What’s wrong? Is it dead? What happened?” I ask, panicking.
“Uhm…” Bellamy says. “Doc…”
