Page 16 of Stop and Seek
They probably hosed it down with bleach once a month and called it good. Didn’t help. Sock sweat and something cloying still lingered—syrupy soda, maybe, left to rot in a Gatorade bottle.
This is the biggest waste of my night.
But everyone else? They were having the time of their lives. Laughing and skipping around the gymnasium.
One of the Sterling twins clung to Decker, her designer bag flashing gold under the lights. Theo could spot his tall-ass from a mile away now.
A group of artsy girls hovered around a helium tank, giggling. The balloons they filled rose instantly, gathering near the rafters until they formed a bruise overhead—purple and yellow, pulsing like infection.
And then there was Noah.
East Bridge High’s golden boy.Star quarterback.
The crowd parted for him like he was royalty or something.
Theo could barely look at him without rolling his eyes. The dude somehow lookedblonderthan before, his skin that crispy kind of tan that made Theo think of fried chicken.
Jesus.Had no one moved on?
Hadn’t anyonegrown the fuck up?
This whole setup was some tired teenage daydream. Plastic cups, balloon arches, and cheap lighting. It was all so fuckingclichéTheo could puke.
He’d always kept his distance from these circles. Too loud. Too cruel. He’d been bullied enough, thank you very much. No need for a second round.
And seriously? He should’ve known better. Should’ve trusted that gut instinctbeforethe shit with Aaron spiraled.
But he knew more at twenty-eight than he did at eighteen.
“You looked pissed,” Ethan’s voice cut through Theo’s thoughts, stale beer breath wafting warm and sour against the side of his face. “You know everyone used to say you’d be the one to lose it.”
They’d had four beers—five, tops—and Ethan wasgone. His version of plastered was more like Theo’s pre-game before a half-decent Saturday night. Nowhere near enough to numb anything. Or erase that split-second decision in the bathroom. The one still clinging to the back of Theo’s throat.
That orgasm high left behind only nerves.
“Lose what,” Theo asked, voice flat.
“Yourshit, man.” Ethan grinned. “You remember the talk of you bringing a gun to school?”
Theo shook his head.No,he didn’t remember that—but the idea? It had crossed his mind more than once. One of his more screwed-up fantasies.
There were a lot of those now.
I guess I haven’t changed much, either.
“Ah, nostalgia,” Theo hummed. “I fucking hate it. Hate all of this.”
Ethan burst into laughter. Too loud. Behind them, a plastic cup hit the floor with a wetthunk, and someone groaned.
“You,” Ethan gasped between snorts, “you arebrutal.You need to chill a little.”
Chill out.
Be nicer.
Same lines Rachel always threw at him. Like honesty was a goddamn crime. Like people only wanted the fragments of him that didn’t make them uncomfortable.
He was always digging through himself, separating the parts that wouldn’t get him yelled at or sent straight to the cops.
