Page 153 of Stop and Seek
Blood roared through his ears again and he had to focus just to keep his hands from shaking.
Theo pulled out his phone. Fingers stiff.
Theo
u got 5min b4 i split
Five minutes. That was way too generous. But each second dragged for an eternity.
His skin itched. His jacket was too tight. And all he wanted was to crawl out of his body and let someone else sit here and pretend this wasn’t hell.
I can’t breathe.
None of this is worth it.
The stairs took longer getting down than getting up. By the time Theo stumbled through the door and into the evening air, his lungs hadn’t remembered how to work. There was a vice around his ribcage, squeezing tighter every step.
He reached his car and yanked the door open with more force than necessary, collapsing against the wheel with a huff. Shoving the seat back, he dropped his head between his knees. The world swam. His vision tunneled.
Stop it.
Get it together. Right now.
None of your angsty bullshit.
But when he went to turn the key, his hands wouldn’t cooperate. They clenched too tight then spasmed, like they wouldn’t grip onto anything.
He was supposed to bepastthis part. This was him gettingbetter, for fuck’s sake.
Someone knocked on the driver's side window.
Sharp. Right next to his face. Knuckles on glass that sent him spiraling right back down that rabbit hole.
Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Goaway.
Theo squeezed his eyes shut. Tried to block it out. He counted backwards from ten, from twenty, from thirty. He didn’t care if he got it wrong.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Thankgod.Gravel crunching.
Walking away.
The television didn’t help. Dim lights. A droning sound. Screaming. All background noise. He sat up and realized he’d spaced through half the movie—someone was being split in half on-screen, blood flying like red party confetti—and he had no clue who they were or why it was happening. He shut it off. The silence afterward was worse.
Gaming didn’t help either. He managed a couple solo matches, his fingers moving on muscle memory. Then he gave in and fired off a dozen messages to Calvin. The guy’s icon was grayed out, but Theo knew he was always lurking with that stupidappear offlinestatus.
Maybe he was being clingy. Whatever. Let him be clingy. Let him be annoying. He needed someone torespond.
Nothing.
No texts from Noah either.
